Quote Originally Posted by Parkster View Post
This description is kinda far from what I expected it to be. There's too much focus on negative aspects of the relationship, and I don't identify with the Four side as much as I thought I would, especially because of the accent on emotional neediness. But I've always only partially identified with things in the enneagram, so I'm not very surprised. Still interesting to read, though.
Hm I would just say that it's probably important to examine the type in detail before dismissing it. IMO the original The Enneagram book is better overall at sort of describing the types way of thinking in a holistic manner and employs non-judged excerpts of people's experiences. I think The Enneagram In Love And Work presents the material in more of a streamlined manner. IMO it is more refined than The Enneagram and there are pretty creepy good details..but still, The Enneagram helped me conceptualize the more general way types feel so it's easier not to get caught up in mundane details which may or may not be related to type.

Even Palmer says everyone engages in many of the behaviors of all the types from time to time, since they describe conditioned perceptions "which, from the perspective of the true, or spiritual, self, are nine illusions about life; and the illusion is the natural starting place for both psychological and spiritual growth." (The Enneagram in Love And Work, p. 8). They're not exactly pathologies, but the point is that when you learn about these behaviors/outlooks from an outsider's perspective, you begin to cultivate the "other" awareness and perhaps start to transcend these patterns a little, and I see that as a generally positive thing. I like the sort of spiritual approach both the introductions of books seem to take, because I think the author intended them as a bit of a disclaimer or a lightening effect on how to approach the material, and I try to keep them in mind when reading the descriptions.

Regardless, I definitely recommend both of the books.