.
showing feelings vs. talking about feelings
.
What about writing feelings? What about different sorts of feelings?
I would say this is accurate.
I'm more likely to show anger and happiness. I'm more likely to write sadness.
I can write about feelings, or, rather, use emotion to drive whatever I'm writing about. But I dislike talking about my feelings with most people. In fact, I was just gonna start a thread somewhat related to this. I don't let the feelings show unless I want them to. In other words, I have control over what I'm showing (at least I think I do) and I can use emotions and their display to make things happen. But talking about it just seems boring. Plus feelings are changing all the time so talking about them also seems a bit useless.
My thoughts about this were more along the lines of rational ego functions differences, but maybe it isn't related. I'd say Te-egos would have most difficulty showing feelings, with Fe-egos finding it most natural. So Fi-ego instead of IxFx, and others analogically.
This has usually been the case for myself.Originally Posted by aixelsyd
LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP
ISTps: Not really good at talking about feelings neither at showing them. Neutral/colourless people,in general.
INTps:Not good at talking about feelings neither at showing them.Fe trained ones might have a compulsive need to interact with people but mostly end up talking about superficial,non-personal stuff that leave them drained. (that's just me thinking i'm ILI lmao )
INTjs: The ones of the annoying variant (for they are many) think they are good at talking about feelings and showing them when nobody asks/wants them to.Prone to asking random,tactless questions during one-on-one interactions if you let them linger into your space for long.
ISTjs: i don't know much about ISTjs but i'll tell you about ISFjs lol.So ISFjs' emotions are evil joy /satisfaction or whinyness/bitchitude,if they decide to show any.You get goosebumps in both cases. oh,i've only spotted female ones.
damn, i'm bashing my activators.
Last edited by Kalinoche buenanoche; 08-24-2010 at 01:18 PM.
Without a doubt.
Real life examples ?
Talking, showing the same for me in most cases. Although negative feelings I prefer to talk about instead of showing, there is something in me that tries to control anger and sadness in the presence of others so id rather talk about those specific feelings instead.
Looking for an Archnemesis. Willing applicants contact via PM.
ENFp - Fi 7w6 sp/sx
The Ineffable IEI
The Einstein ENTp
johari nohari
http://www.mypersonality.info/ssmall/
This would seem to possibly go against the complementary nature of duality.
This is a very pertinent topic. Last night, I was hanging with one of my most deep friends, who happens to be a girl. I wanted to explain to her my theory about how deep friendship can go with it never getting awkward. It is indeed a rare thing, but I think my group of friends have captured it. It was hard for me to explain my feelings to her, even when they were just feelings of family and friendship. I would have much preferred to hold her and tell her that this is a physical manifestation of the bond that we shared.
So I would much prefer to show feelings than talk about them, but it is leagues easily to write about your feelings. And I vehemently disagree that writing about feelings is the same as talking about them. Not at all. The emotional dynamic of not thinking about what you are saying as much, seeing their reaction, etc. It is not at all the same.
D-SEI9w1
This is me and my dual being scientific together
I think it is because Introvert feeling is your 8th function. People rarely like to use their 8th function too much, down play it.
(D)IEE~FI-(C)SLE~Ni E-5w4(Sp/Sx)/7w8(So/Sp)/9w1(sp/sx)
I hate talking about emotions, at least using gross touchy-feely therapist talk. I could never utter the phrase "when you do x, it makes me feel y" unsarcastically. I'd laugh a semi-bitter laugh and walk out of the marriage counselor's office. Which is why I'd have to marry an SLE (far far far in the distant unimaginable future), 'cause she would want to deal with that bs in the first place (hopefully).
I am, however very willing to write emotionally. And there are some emotions I'd rather verbalize than articulate, such as excitement. I find that with duals, or IEIs and SLEs anyway, each one is inclined to readily express emotions that the other cannot readily express, i.e., IEIs are great at seeming sad enough to evoke pity and help, while SLEs would rather go down fighting than look weak. SLEs are great at demonstrating that they're angry, while IEIs would rather sit and stew until blowing up like a postal worker.
Not a rule, just a trend.
IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.
Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...
I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.
same! yes, true about IEI and SLE. haha
p.s. counseling is horrible. try to avoid it.
So in other words, Extroverts prefer to show and Introverts prefer to tell?
ILE
7w8 so/sp
Very busy with work. Only kind of around.
no, no definitely not. I prefer to show by far. Even when writing about feelings, I'm showing how the character is feeling through their actions, not talking about it.
I guess it depends. Some things I prefer talking about; some things I can't put into words and need to get out physically (like Kam). (Gosh that sounds bad)
I guess when I talk about stuff I become rather intense, but without being outwardly emotional.
AND HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL!?!
I have no feelings.
More ILI propaganda.I have no feelings.
D-SEI
This is me and my dual being scientific together
Personally, I feel dishonest when I talk about my feelings. Like I don't really know what I'm talking about and I'm just making stuff up. It sounds strange. I like it when someone can make sense of my feelings and tell me how I'm feeling. I question my feelings too much, and it makes me feel a lot more sure of them when someone else can see them. I think part of it too is that I get attached way too easily. It'slike I get attached easily and then I think to myself, "Why? It doesn't make any sense that I would feel this strongly so quickly" and then I start thinking it's just irrational and not real. Feelings don't make sense.. lol. I am good at being passionate/blah blah, but I kinda just artificially play with that for fun.
edit: I actually think that what I quoted is very applicable. I know well how to express emotions, but I feel like there's no meat behind it. I know how to make it sound like you mean the world to me verbally or through raw expression, but on core level I'm really unsure of it, and so when I do that I feel like I'm lying. I just can't objectify those feelings, and it's through objectification that I come to be sure of things. They just don't become objective to me until someone else can tell me they're real.
I suck at both.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
I wish I didn't. They are so hard to deal with, sometimes.I have no feelings.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
<3 Fe PoLRI have no feelings.
Shh. Don't expose us. Pretending we have no feelings is the only defense.
about 40%-49% real life examples and the rest is unfounded speculation.
I tend to say less the more I feel. If I'm rambling, I'm probably trying to distract the person from the lack of substance to my emotions.Same with written words. I guess it's pretty obvious when I'm sincere what emotion I'm projecting without me having to say anything relevant. I'm not inclined to be inspired to 'hold people' or such though. :-p
"Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."
yes. and I have only very very rarely cried in front of someone else. Furthermore, I'm not that great at consoling people either unless it's one of my kids. I'm better at distracting them or trying to put a positive spin on the situation. Or maybe I'm just not that close with anyone.I tend to say less the more I feel. If I'm rambling, I'm probably trying to distract the person from the lack of substance to my emotions.
I think I prefer people whom I can read easily but then instead of them expressing their feelings on an inward--->outward 1:1 ratio, they instead prefer to deny their feelings by being a grumplefagus Scrooge or talk about the weather in an obvious way, and sort of deny the intensity and just be with me. I love it when people are willing to just be with me in a way that doesn't have any deathly pallor of emotions or attachment or unspoken connections connected to it. I just feel sort of controlled by emotions in general and it's like...emotions are easy. Connections are easy. Tearing up randomly when you're talking to someone because of how everything washes over you is easy. But being pulled into cycles of emotion again and again against your will is uncomfortable. Easy but uncomfortable.
I hate it when after pushing/prodding me into a lot of different states over a short period of time, people won't be satiated or something and they want more. People want to pull the emotionality out of you..extract it or something. And then when you try to talk about things it's like they don't believe your words because they put so much stock on the genuineness of feelings. But I have feelings about things all the time, and find it easy to get lost in them. It's not the same as actual care.
Care is more detached, when you can put your feelings aside and act on what is going to be best for the person in the long term. And sometimes that means listening to them talk, or acknowledging that besides looks and gestures and the turn of a head, they have words too. Maybe lots of words, and opinions. Denying words in favor of feelings seems like denying opinions. I want people to understand and respect my words more than I want them to respect my feelings. I want them to respect my overall intention or sort of the concept I'm grasping at when I attempt emotional analysis, and respond with analysis of their own that matches the intention.
It can change though...it's just like the states have to be in alignment. Sometimes I vent and I want answers..and sometimes I just want to vent for the sake of releasing..and I just want the person to listen and be there and not really say anything. But I think confusion comes when there's some sort of communication issue and people can't discern what I want.
It's just really variable...some people can't really even communicate properly and we can't talk. But still there is an underlying sense of trust with them. It's not so much an invasive emotional feeling as it is..like truck said, you may not understand them completely...but they're still not going to stab you in a dark alley.
Then there are the people that wouldn't stab you, but are so God awful annoying you end up stabbing yourself instead just to make it stop.
Oh shit, I did post here.
dolphin, I love your posts.
I don't try show my feelings all that often (though sometimes I do unintentionally).
I don't talk about my feelings unless either I need to because there is a conflict between me and someone else, or if sharing my feelings will benefit the other person somehow (for example, helping them better understand a common issue I happen to have).
If I do share my feelings, I always do it through the internet. I feel a lot less vulnerable, and if their reaction is negative, I don't have to see or hear it.
Bottom line, though, I value the talking about feelings over the showing of feelings. It's easier to know what's on someone's mind if they talk about it instead of me having to judge so.
yes. i find it difficult to label my feelings. people tell me it's easy to tell how i feel about things. maybe even too easy.ExTxs: More inclined to show feelings but rarely talk about them.
*goes off to work on poker face*
ILE
those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often
I just opened a thread abt it, but to sum it up here also:
what abt talking about your life in a 'friendly' environment with 'people you trust', including your deep feelings and issues, like group therapy.
I TOTALLY DISLIKE IT AND AM UNABLE TO DO SO.
WHO ARE THE PEOPLE WHO CAN ACTUALLY PROFIT FROM SUCH A MUTUAL INVASION? ARE THEY SOME QUADRA OR SOME TYPES?
As in, e-mail or IM. Not in person.
F. Totally F.I just opened a thread abt it, but to sum it up here also:
what abt talking about your life in a 'friendly' environment with 'people you trust', including your deep feelings and issues, like group therapy.
I TOTALLY DISLIKE IT AND AM UNABLE TO DO SO.
WHO ARE THE PEOPLE WHO CAN ACTUALLY PROFIT FROM SUCH A MUTUAL INVASION? ARE THEY SOME QUADRA OR SOME TYPES?
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
