Sexual Compatibility in the Quadras
© Alexander Boukalov, 1992.
From: A.Boukalov, A.Boyko. Socionics and Bioenergetics of Human Relations. Kiev, 1992.
Author's site: www.socionics.ibc.com.ua
© Dmitri Lytov, translation, 2002.
Edited by Darren Chappell.
Disclaimer: these are only preliminary results based on questioning a small group of people whose socionic types were known to the author. Future experimental researches may confirm or disprove some of the facts presented here.
Its unique program of interaction in intimate relationships characterizes each quadra. Quadra-mates are sexually the most compatible partners. We made a hypothesis that these programs correlate with the so-called perinatal matrices described by Stanislaw Grof.
Tender touches and caresses distinguish the sexual program of the 1st Quadra (Alpha). In the dual couple The Seeker/The Mediator partners ‘love each other by skin’, as if dissolving in each other’s embraces. Both The Mediator and The Bonvivant, being sensory types, love being tenderly stroked along their skin. However The Bonvivant, compared to The Mediator, is more emotional and passionate in his/her sexual interaction, because they have to activate (‘to wind up’) their dual The Analyst. On the other hand, The Mediator, being an irrational type, reveals more creativity and flexibility.
Both logical (and simultaneously intuitive) types of the first quadra, The Seeker and The Analyst, reveal less activity. The relationship between The Seeker and The Analyst is characterized by lack of feelings and emotions, since both are logical and intuitive. On the other hand, the ‘mirror relationship’ between The Bonvivant and The Mediator manifests in bright emotions and sensations. However, mutual subconscious resentment gradually grows. In fact, the ‘mirror relationship’ in marriage mutually exhausts partners. And The Bonvivant suffers more due to his rationality, while The Mediator feels less discontent.
In the 2nd Quadra (Beta) the nature of sexual caresses is of different kind. They do not like feeble strokes, but tend to intense effect on the partner’s skin, which manifests in strong embraces, in squeezing each other. The Legionnaire and The Inspector both being sensory types, are very jealous: just the thought of the partner’s infidelity may poison their life. It is not mere accident that William Shakespeare, The Mentor, colorfully described how Othello (The Inspector) squeezed Desdemona trying to kill her. Let us consider a real example: a married couple, students, The Inspector (husband) and The Mentor (wife), live in a dormitory. Since the wife is a sociable extravert, her husband is often jealous of her contacts with the neighbors. The scenes much resemble those described by Shakespeare: “Whom have you been with?” the husband asks and puts his hands onto the wife’s neck. She shrieks, and he gets scared and releases her.
As for The Legionnaire, he/she can in the moments of intercourse give accurate and decisive commands to their dual The Lyricist. The ‘mirror’ between The Legionnaire and The Inspector is burdened by complications: in order to adapt to each other, The Legionnaire needs to control himself permanently, to stay reserved. This makes him very tired; but unless he does it, he would exhaust The Inspector by his sensory function, which is absent for The Mentor. The Inspector expects from The Mentor colorful dramatic feelings and support for his/her sensory initiatives. In the meantime, the partners may put themselves in the most unbelievable positions.
It is interesting to remark that types belonging to different quadras, when they encounter, wonder about each other’s behavior (including sexual). E.g. a woman-Conservator was quite amazed by attempts of a man-Lyricist to squeeze her – she began to ‘teach him anew’.
The sexual program of the 3rd Quadra (Gamma) is very dynamic and is often characterized by acrobatic behavior of the partners. In the dual couple The Politician / The Critic initiative usually belongs to the first, who rule their partner using their sensory function. The Critic would submit when simply taken and lead by the hand. One Critic would say; “If one takes my hands and leads me, I would follow at once and wouldn’t resist, but would submit to the partner’s control”.
The dual couple The Conservator/The Enterpriser, on the other hand, is characterized by frequent change of the partners’ positions, high intensity of feelings and very high quantity of intercourses within short periods (3-4 days) with subsequent long period of relaxation, restoring forces. If The Politician cools after the intercourse very quickly, The Conservator will need one-two hours of strokes and caresses. The ‘mirror’ between The Conservator and The Politician resembles the ‘mirror’ between The Inspector and The Legionnaire: like these two, both are very jealous.
It is interesting in this regard to consider for comparison the intimate relationship between The Mediator and The Politician. This is the so-called ‘contrast’ relationship: it may result in the partners’ mutual and rapid growing cold to each other, especially from the introvert’s side: this is total mutual sensual and emotional extinguishment. On the other hand, in the ‘contrast’ pairs of intuitive types, e.g. The Seeker/The Critic, The Psychologist/The Lyricist such extinguishment is weaker – their sensory functions reside in their unconsciousness.
Play behaviors, laughing, tenderly pinching the partner etc. are descriptive for the sexual program of the 4th Quadra (Delta). The Administrator shows more energy but less creativity in ‘winding up’ his shy dual The Humanist, and is less reserved compared to The Craftsman. The last himself, sparing energy, reveals more creativity with his dual The Psychologist, they both accept it as fine art. Women-Psychologists are characterized by wriggling, coquettish and cat-like moves. They are strongly stimulated by external factors: movies, literature, and music. A weak trait of The Psychologist is his feeling of sympathy: the partner may succeed by telling stories about his sufferings. In this situation The Psychologist becomes tender and feels strong necessity of providing relaxation to the partner. By the way, The Psychologist may be compared to Don Juan: men of this type may successfully court women, but in the last moment avoid intimacy (probably in order to stay independent). It is his dual The Craftsman or his activator The Administrator who will take initiative in such relations on themselves.