Interesting, perhaps the 1 thing has more to do with the fact that my parents are probably both different wings of 1?..for example in my Riso Hudson books the quizzes for your likelihood to be a certain type went like.."You are very likely to be a type 8 or have a type 8 parents"..etcOriginally Posted by esper
That's dolphin...E6 with 9. I think she has 1 also.
Good post.
out of curiosity (I'm trying to test my ideas against reality), did you find my description of e6-9w1 accurate?
Hm I suppose..I wonder if someone would define passive aggressive more clearly because I think I might have negative connotations associated with it.
But I did like it..I think that honestly, it fits well because..yeah I have anger. But the way I deal with it..I hardly ever am able to express it. I mean yes, I come here to express it sometimes. But the sad fact is in the real world I'm quite unable to express disapproval to people or confront them. When realizations about them came I deal with it by basically running away. When it's necessary to interact with them I keep a lid on my feelings by acting sort of 9-ish and non committal to mask the anxiety. It's a state of, I believe that 9 is the state of being pulled in opposing directions..you have 8 anger directed at others, controlling others, and the 1 anger directed at themselves, and controlling themselves. I feel that 9s being in the center of this hold are pushed-pulled between both the internal and external anger so it's like they compensate by becoming unmoving and keeping everything at arms length metaphorically so they just zone out as to not have to make a decision that contains sharpness or dissonance. I think it's their way of control. I returned my enneagram book to the library the other day but I one of 9's issues was that they felt overlooked and ignored as children. Here's a 9 description I like:
The early wounding that NINES experienced resulted from their perception that they didn’t matter, weren’t that important, and weren’t worth being noticed or cared about. NINES say they are sensitive to being neglected, feeling shamed, crushed, or left defenseless. They are sensitive to conflict, confrontation, disharmony, and to being criticized or punished for hurting others out of anger.
Instead of facing this painful reality that, apparently, they didn't matter that much to their parents since their parents didn't show them much attention, NINES assumed the less painful stance of resignation. They took the attitude of: So what? It doesn't matter (which is less painful than I don't matter.) What's the difference? Why make a big deal out of anything? Life is short, anyway. So NINES resigned themselves and settled in for the duration. They turned down their energy, lowered their expectations, and began their long hibernation.
NINES weren't listened to and so they learned to not listen to themselves and their needs, preferences, wants, feelings, and own ideas. No one asked them what they thought, valued, or wanted and so they subsequently forget to ask themselves. As adults, NINES often don't know what kind of person they would like to be, what kind of work they might like to pursue, or what kind of partner they prefer to marry.
When their sensibilities are stepped on, the NINES’ maladaptive schemas surface.
"I don’t matter."
"I’m not important."
"I’m not cared for."
"It’s not O.K. to be upset."
"I shouldn’t stand out."
"It’s more important to be nice than to be true to myself."
"It’s not O.K. to show anger because conflict destroys."
"I must avoid my feelings or I’ll go to pieces."
"Everything is the same. Nothing matters."
"If I’m not here, I’m safe."
Whenever their desires and wants become figural, the NINES' automatic response comes into play to push them into the background. They defocus, distract themselves, become indolent, avoid conflict, and fall asleep.
And, as we have seen with every other type, the NINES’ defensive strategy eventually creates the very situation it sought to avoid. The more NINES blend into the background, the more non-descript and bland they become, the more they go unnoticed and neglected. Procrastination makes matters worse and eventually heightens conflict. Ignoring a tumor doesn’t cure it; it grows through neglect.
While their ego’s solution might keep them calm, it doesn’t bring them what they really want and need which is to be loved, cared for, and noticed. Also, along with garnering esteem in the eyes of others, NINES need self-acceptance and self-esteem. They want to be at peace with their inner feelings, especially their angry ones. They want to be proactive and speak up for themselves. And, while doing so, they want to maintain their sense of union and harmony. They want to experience inter-being.
What NINES need to do when their vulnerability is breached is stay in touch with their essential feelings, preferences, and values, let them emerge, and act on them. They need to trust that their passions will not irrevocably disturb the harmony of the spheres. Actually their desires are part of the energy system of the universe that keeps it evolving through a process of differentiation and integration. NINES need to honor both the polarizing as well as the harmonizing dimensions of the evolutionary process.
3V View: Values, Visions, & Vulnerabilities
I'm not really 9-ish overall to be a 9 but I think the 3-6-9 thing is illustrative of the changing states of those respective types..and that it factors into my behavior. I could definately see 9 in my trifix. lol thx esper ^^
ahh by passive aggressive I mean something different than saying "if this is your tritype then you inescapably have this disorder".... so you can discard that, I would rationalize it further but I'll just be digging my grave deeper and deeper for some of the people around here.
Anyways I'm glad you like it, if that's what you truely think... If not then I'm glad you were nice enough to say so even though you didn't think so.
I liked your description of the way 9 leans toward 8 or 1 also. I really liked it... I've always considered such ideas but.... I've never seen it that way as internal/external.
Thanks for responding without impaling me on a stake.
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