Being put off by their comments points to your insecurities. Conflict relations are not the worst; it's just that the gulf seems more obvious then say mirrors. What you should be asking yourself is: "Despite everything, can this person be helpful?" If not, steer clear. If yes, then look to yourself as the problem source. I have found that ESTps tend to try to overwhelm but if people don't seem impressed, they do dismount from their chargers; they usually mean well but they often behave like raucous soldiers on leave.......
a.k.a. I/O