Fe Egos

[JWC3]

This isn't a question because it very much is type related but it bugs the living fuck out of me the way that Fe egos love every thing and every one. It completely defeats the point of love. It's no longer special or rare. It's just something you do, everyday. It's ordinary.

Even just throwing around the word love, without really meaning it is just as irritating. It robs the word love of all meaning.

And yeah I understand this helps Weak Fe valuing types manage and express their feelings or all that shit, but honestly I would rather have a solid concept of love's value and how special it really is, than lord it upon every thing.

If it takes some one who loves every one to love me then fuck it. I'd rather be single.

[717495]

Lol. Looks like you need a lesson in love then.

[silverchris9]

Shrug. Can't you tell the difference between fake "Iloveyou!" love and for serious actually caring about people love? I think Fe-egos talk less about I-actually-care-for-you love, or at least I do.

[redbaron]

I think Fe-egos talk less about I-actually-care-for-you love, or at least I do.

yes. or maybe that's more true about Fe-creatives than Fe-base.

[Creepy-male]

I think that's just a Decisive attitude toward love, closeness, affection, whatever.

[JWC3]

Shrug. Can't you tell the difference between fake "Iloveyou!" love and for serious actually caring about people love? I think Fe-egos talk less about I-actually-care-for-you love, or at least I do.

For the most part I blame language for limiting the expression available. I.E. not having another word for the same 'level' of feeling but not necessarily the same feeling. Because obviously nothing is quiet on par with love.

It's just frustrating when I want to get into a relationship with some one and I realize they are the "Boy who cried wolf" of relationships.

Girl: I love you.
Me: So? You love your boss, your co-workers, every friend you've ever had, waffles, and that hobo outside the coffee shop who sings show tunes (And bright colors if the girl is an Alpha Fe-ego).

EDIT: And no, god dammit, I can't tell the difference. If I could tell the difference I wouldn't have made this thread.

[redbaron]

For the most part I blame language for limiting the expression available. I.E. not having another word for the same 'level' of feeling but not necessarily the same feeling. Because obviously nothing is quiet on par with love.

It's just frustrating when I want to get into a relationship with some one and I realize they are the "Boy who cried wolf" of relationships.

Girl: I love you.
Me: So? You love your boss, your co-workers, every friend you've ever had, waffles, and that hobo outside the coffee shop who sings show tunes (And bright colors if the girl is an Alpha Fe-ego).

EDIT: And no, god dammit, I can't tell the difference. If I could tell the difference I wouldn't have made this thread.

Fi polr. But I think that's why most IEIs (well, myself included) don't say "I love you" all that much when they're really serious. Because... they're just words. there are better ways to express yourself.

[Creepy-male]

Total derail, but what is the IEI way of expressing sentimental/intimate/"deep" things like that? I know I emphasise things with touch a lot more, but that's pretty Si

[silverchris9]

For the most part I blame language for limiting the expression available. I.E. not having another word for the same 'level' of feeling but not necessarily the same feeling. Because obviously nothing is quiet on par with love.

Yeah. It would be better if we spoke Greek. I don't know, maybe it would help if you focused less on the words? But I know, what other tangible expression of love can you get.

Often IEIs (and EIEs) will have a decent variety of verbal resources, so if they're really into you, they should be able to come up with another phrase. Or at least say it with a more special inflection or something.

It's just frustrating when I want to get into a relationship with some one and I realize they are the "Boy who cried wolf" of relationships.

Girl: I love you.
Me: So? You love your boss, your co-workers, every friend you've ever had, waffles, and that hobo outside the coffee shop who sings show tunes (And bright colors if the girl is an Alpha Fe-ego).

If there's a hobo outside your coffee shop that sings show tunes, you can hardly blame this girl for being in love with him. But yes, I can imagine how that would suck. How do you tell the difference between an interest worth pursuing that could ultimately go somewhere, do something, be positive, etc., and something that only looks like one. "boy who cried wolf" of relationships, lol.

EDIT: And no, god dammit, I can't tell the difference. If I could tell the difference I wouldn't have made this thread.

Good point. Anyway, if she's IEI and she's into you, she's probably going to look at and for you in a way where she half doesn't want you to notice and half does. I'm pretty sure that's a common IEI female trait. She'll probably (probably) become less effusive and more avoidant/internal. Fe-leadings not so much.

By noticing the sensitivity of the SLE. Most people think SLEs are not sensitive, when in reality they are hyper-sensitive. IEIs notice it and know how to react around it, without activating the SLE's defenses. They even point it out at times, in non-threatening ways, so that it's not so scary for the SLE and so that the SLE can understand their sensitivity better.

Ni + Fe "touches" on the inside.
Si + Fe touches on the outside.

+15. I don't think SLEs tend to notice us doing this.

[silverchris9]

Naah. You just feel comfortable to be around. "If it feels good, it is good."

Do you actually actively adjust to SLE sensitivity? Examples?

I'm pretty sure I do... but I can't think of any examples... so maybe I don't? It's basically just knowing where to go and where not to go in a conversation. Which I guess is Ni related as far as seeing where a certain topic is going to go. And yeah, I can tell certain subjects they're sensitive about, or that I can guess they're probably unsure about themselves, so I try to be extra supportive and non-negative about those things. And then with other people it's just explaining. Oh, and if they're pissed about something you just have to let them vent and not give them all the reasons they're wrong and all the other perspectives blah blah blah, unless you know them really well and even then you have to say it sheepishly like you're not really serious about offering it as a suggestion. But that's just a do unto others as you'd have them do unto you sort of situation, because I hate it when people don't just let me talk, lol.

[Creepy-male]

Are you feeling battered and bruised by chain rejections because you misread things? Sucks bro. *bropat*

I guess the best advice I can offer is just listen to your own sense of physical attraction/how attracted they seem to you. Sensers are naturally good at this, I think. Don't bother trying to figure out if they like you or love you or whatever, because, like you've observed in this thread, it's a blind spot for you; and one that's frustrating and a point of pain.

Blind spot... point of pain... Fi PoLR, mirite?

[crazedrat]

The situation surrounding the persons expression of love should make it pretty obvious to you the level of love there really is. Maybe you're just profoundly bad at reading those sorts of things.

[krieger]

Lol! That's the crudest kind of Fe. Fe-Creative is refined, sublime. Pour les connoisseurs

I actually agree with this and have explained the difference in these exact terms previously. Again you express a view that coincides one on one with my interpretation of Base/Creating.

[ArchonAlarion]

human language intoxicates the deepness of the soul to a mere drunken slur, leaving but an inebriated view of the tips of icebergs.

coffee time for me.

Haha *pats INFp's head*

[Gilly]

human language intoxicates the deepness of the soul to a mere drunken slur, leaving but an inebriated view of the tips of icebergs.

<3333333 starfall take me away

[munenori2]

<3

nah j/k. I don't know. I think something that might throw it off is that Fe egos are a little more likely to respond positively to just about everybody to make them feel good and, maybe just maybe, they're prone to occasionally be on the more embellishing side or flat out over enthusiastic to where sometimes the message gets lost a little bit. If you make people happy, they'll respond more positively, they'll feel more comfortable. Granted, it can get over done, to the point where sometimes you do have to step back and think about how you really feel versus what you're trying to engender at the moment.

[thePirate]

This isn't a question because it very much is type related but it bugs the living fuck out of me the way that Fe egos love every thing and every one. It completely defeats the point of love. It's no longer special or rare. It's just something you do, everyday. It's ordinary.

Even just throwing around the word love, without really meaning it is just as irritating. It robs the word love of all meaning.

And yeah I understand this helps Weak Fe valuing types manage and express their feelings or all that shit, but honestly I would rather have a solid concept of love's value and how special it really is, than lord it upon every thing.

If it takes some one who loves every one to love me then fuck it. I'd rather be single.

maybe you aren't SLE?

[electric sheep]

The worst feeling to have is none at all.

[munenori2]

I've ran SEE through my mental abacus a couple times, but jwc3 doesn't really fit the mould. He actually seems pretty involved in the inner workings/cohesion of the theory when you talk to him about it. Tho SEEs ime are usually the playa playa kind of guy that tries to talk to as many women at one time as they can handle, if only because they seem to feed off that kind of social admiration/desirability. Most of them I think their eyes would glaze over if I tried to talk socionics theory, unless I made it sound like something insightful they could get some use out of.

[MatthewZ]

The trick is noticing the nuances in how the basic "I love you" is expressed.

[717495]

You need to learn to love Fe egos for who they are.

[Azeroffs]

More applicable to Fe-base/Fi-ignoring imo.