I've made the decision ~ to believe in love again

[Satan]

yea bitch got what she deserved, she ordered a main course of love, but forgot it came with a complimentary desert; death.

bitterness

[Satan]

They died because they refused to take control of their destinies. They could have eloped; they didn't. So they got consumed by forces bigger than them and died.

It wasn't for love that they died, but rebellion.

well i named myself after a character from there and he died because of it too, and he forewarned romeo.

[Satan]

Personally I think it was just meant to be a love/tragedy thing and there wasn't a "lesson" to the story for people to learn why the romance failed. I mean if there was a lesson it was more like love > petty conflict, thats why the prince gives that entire speech at the end. I don't know that to me seems the most obvious analysis of the story.

don't fall in i think is the moral of the story

[Joy]

true love

As opposed to what? False love?

idk, I think the word "love" has an infinite number of definitions, and different people are capable of different levels of love at different points in their lives. Most of the time it's all about them... how this person makes them feel or influences their lives or whatever. People search for an object for their love or affection. The unconditional acceptance that you mention is something I've considered recently and decided that this means accepting someone for who they are instead of how they make you feel or what they do for you.

According to Michael Sternberg, true love has three components:

• intimacy
• passion
• commitment

I don't think the triangle is complete, because it doesn't include a sense of harmony.

Wouldn't that be part of intimacy though?

Love is not just about being there for each other. No, real love is about enjoying being there for each other, about not being bothered about doing things for another because helping that person is a natural inclination. Soulmates feel a sense of genuine reward for helping each other, so much that they want to do more of it. It's about learning to live for someone else, where one need not worry about one's own needs because one's partner has them covered already.

Eh, that just sounds like duality. It's not necessarily romantic. And there are only 16 types and a whole lot of people in the world, so it's not exactly a "soul mate" sort of thing.

[crazedrat]

love is like an anticipatory play. To get my blood moving nowdays it takes the prospect of completely devouring the female. Only then am I interested. I think I pushed the amusement of love too far and now I'm bored with the idea. There's no anticipation left in it. A person has to be really incredible to strike my interest

[Creepy-male]

...it takes the prospect of completely devouring the female

creepy...

this is the reason you remind me of baudelaire

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[silverchris9]

love is like an anticipatory play. To get my blood moving nowdays it takes the prospect of completely devouring the female. Only then am I interested. I think I pushed the amusement of love too far and now I'm bored with the idea. There's no anticipation left in it. A person has to be really incredible to strike my interest

I hope I don't get that way. Sigh.

Anyway, I've stopped analyzing for "themes" in Shakespeare (so has Harold Bloom, although he probably wouldn't admit it). Instead, I look for "what is represented". And what is represented in Romeo and Juliet is love ("my bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as endless. The more I give to thee the more I have"). There are lessons from Shakespeare's plays in the exact same way as there are lessons from life. No one would say that you don't learn lessons by thinking about your life. But the same experience teaches different people different lessons. That's how I feel about Shakespeare's plays.

I don't know how much I believe in love. But I do know that I'm probably going to fall in love fairly soon (next two or three years tops), and I'm not excited about it, because I don't have any more room in my life for emotional headaches. I'm certainly screwed up enough already. Romance, not the drama, is the arena in which we play out our wounds from childhood in preparation for getting another set of children to wound.

[Rubicon]

Romance, not the drama, is the arena in which we play out our wounds from childhood in preparation for getting another set of children to wound.

No, don't say that! The pattern must be broken!

[silverchris9]

No, don't say that! The pattern must be broken!

Good parents tend to break their children in different ways than they themselves were broken. And you can break a child more or less. I had a great childhood. I'm still pretty effed up, but I had a wonderful childhood.

[Rubicon]

Good parents tend to break their children in different ways than they themselves were broken. And you can break a child more or less. I had a great childhood. I'm still pretty effed up, but I had a wonderful childhood.

So you effed yourself up. lol I guess there's no hope for you or your offspring then. :-p

[silverchris9]

So you effed yourself up. lol I guess there's no hope for you or your offspring then. :-p

No... it's just impossible to go through life without getting a little bruised. And yes, I did eff up myself through excessive introspection. And some intentional prolonging of internal crises. If I have children, I'll do my best to be a good parent of course... but I know that I won't be perfect, and even if I were, I think a perfect childhood just doesn't happen, and that imperfections that happen in childhood tend to affect you a lot because you're still developing; they tend to become part of you a lot more than things that happen when you have a more solidified self/ego/persona and more data about life to compare to.

[Rubicon]

No... it's just impossible to go through life without getting a little bruised. And yes, I did eff up myself through excessive introspection. And some intentional prolonging of internal crises. If I have children, I'll do my best to be a good parent of course... but I know that I won't be perfect, and even if I were, I think a perfect childhood just doesn't happen, and that imperfections that happen in childhood tend to affect you a lot because you're still developing; they tend to become part of you a lot more than things that happen when you have a more solidified self/ego/persona and more data about life to compare to.

Yeah true.. but scar tissue is tough. :-p I think that if you can manage to understand why you are the way you are, then that's all you really need to do. Being hurt arms you with more knowledge in regards to yourself and other people - ideally making you more aware and competent. Doesn't have to be a bad thing imo.

[redbaron]

there's no such thing as a perfect childhood because there are no perfect parents or children. you just do your best and love them. Shit happens, all kinds of it!

[Rubicon]

Shit happens, all kinds of it!

Eloquently put!

[Satan]

love is like an anticipatory play. To get my blood moving nowdays it takes the prospect of completely devouring the female. Only then am I interested. I think I pushed the amusement of love too far and now I'm bored with the idea. There's no anticipation left in it. A person has to be really incredible to strike my interest

I think it's called "getting old".

[redbaron]

I think it's called "getting old".

[Satan]

No, don't say that! The pattern must be broken!

Slaves
Hebrews born to serve, to the pharaoh
Heed
To his every word, live in fear
Faith
Of the unknown one, the deliverer
Wait
Something must be done, four hundred years

[Satan]

Where's your spark.

[redbaron]

Where's your spark.

it takes much more than a witty remark
to ignite an older woman's spark

lol I dunno, I just made that up.

[Satan]

it takes much more than a witty remark
to ignite an older woman's spark

lol I dunno, I just made that up.

The spark ignites the flame;

[ScarlettLux]

"True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked." ~ Erich Segal

Those who don't believe in love will NEVER find it, so good on you for believing again.

I am in love and it does hurt, and it does take a lot out of you, and it does consume the whole person but really I wouldn't have it any other way.

I really don't think your description of harmony is needed for love though, because I do think that describes duality which does not necessarily constitute love... I mean it's just psychological comfort. Of course two people must be compatible, but duality does not equal love by any means... it's just preferable.

People argue, and they love each-other... you work through things and that's love.

[Ezra]

Yes, after having my heart scorched and salted by women who really didn't give a damn, I have resolved to find true love.

According to Michael Sternberg, true love has three components:

• intimacy
• passion
• commitment

I don't think the triangle is complete, because it doesn't include a sense of harmony. Love is not just about being there for each other. No, real love is about enjoying being there for each other, about not being bothered about doing things for another because helping that person is a natural inclination. Soulmates feel a sense of genuine reward for helping each other, so much that they want to do more of it. It's about learning to live for someone else, where one need not worry about one's own needs because one's partner has them covered already.

It's also about unconditional acceptance: the one enjoys and cherishes the nature of the other, and is ready -- genuinely desires -- to defend that nature. Together with harmony, commitment is enriched and fixated on mutual desire. Sex, if possible, is sought after. Partners are neither trinkets for each other nor... they are objects of mutual obsession. And yet, this obsession is not genuinely mental... it is instinctual. A circumstantial thing where when one partner offers themselves to the other the recipient either replies or is distressed for the refusal. To put it in perspective, if one partner wants to engage in intimate acts in a public place, then the refusal of the other partner, when there is true love, is not an act of self-vindication but of regret, for when love is true it is not the enemy of society.

Ignoring the theory, speaking from experience: love exists. You'll probably but not necessarily find it in your dual. And you'll know for sure when it comes.

[Ezra]

it takes much more than a witty remark
to ignite an older woman's spark

Has the spark already been ignited in the past, or are you still waiting for the initial one?

[redbaron]

Has the spark already been ignited in the past, or are you still waiting for the initial one?

oh, it's been ignited.

[Ezra]

oh, it's been ignited.

Ahhh, you're a cynic

I actually think while SLEs are cynical about life in general, IEIs are optimistic. In love, it's the opposite.

[717495]

It's not a cry that you hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light. It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah.

[redbaron]

Ahhh, you're a cynic

I actually think while SLEs are cynical about life in general, IEIs are optimistic. In love, it's the opposite.

I think you're right!

[Ezra]

So the IEI gives meaning the the SLE's life, and the SLE keeps the IEI interested and in love.

[Rubicon]

Have to say that the 'scorched and salted' description makes me think of peanuts.

[Rubicon]

Almonds rather.