Top Secret: Marista File

[somavision]

I cannot say how I obtained this document, what I can say is that many brave men and women gave their lives so that we can read it today. What follows is a complete and unabridged copy of Minde's Top Secret Martisa33 File.

Maritsa was born Dave Montgomery Delanougier on 23rd Novemeber 1958. Her conception and birth took place in the small town of Dogging situated within the vast and unforgiving Canadian outback. Her parents were prospectors of unknown origin, although her father was said to sport the finest moustache in the province, leading some to speculate that he was Belgian and possibly even an exiled Wallonian Nationalist.
Maritsa's mother was known by most as a gentle soul, although she had a tendancy to disembowel live cats when angered. This was a source of much mirth for her fellow bloodthirsty Canadians.
Marista changed her name to Maritsa from Dave after emigrating to the US, when it emerged that Dave is usually considered a name for boys in that country. The 33 was added as a nickname, whilst in jail, for her profiency and skill in the notorious lesbian sexual position of the same name.
Since leaving jail, Maritsa33 has succesfully reintegrated herself into society and for some reason beyond her understanding, feels an incredible need to protect and nurture cats.
She is also really good at socionics and 33ing