The point is only left unknown to you.
One of the downsides of thinking in concentric circles instead of straight lines is that sometimes it is difficult to see where someone else might get lost when you're making all these connections in your head.
My IEI friend and I often have discussions like:
IEI: I really want to have a kid, but I can't do it. I just don't have the money or the time, or even a car! Plus I want to go to school and I need a job, and I can't do any of these things with a baby.
IEE: Tons of people have kids without a car, I see them on the train every day! And there are some jobs that have daycares at the company, we should research those. Or maybe you could move into one of those community houses they have here with a bunch of single parents, then rent is cheaper and you have help babysitting. Oooh, maybe you could go to school full time and open a side childcare company? Then you get free daycare and a job at the same time! And eventually you could hire people to help you when it gets bigger, and then you have the company and income without having to work all the time. Yeah, this could work.
IEI: You're not getting it, I know other people do this stuff but *I* can't do it. And why the heck would I start a company??
IEE: It could work, stop being so negative! You could live in this community house and watch all their kids while they're at work, and get paid, and then do night classes and someone in the house can watch your kid. And you wouldn't even need a car because work, home and childcare is all in one spot! Hey I have a friend who did this, let me get you her number. You remember Amy, right?
IEI: But I need a car to get to the grocery store, and what if there's an emergency? I just can't do this. And... why am I talking to Amy?
IEE: So live near an urban area with a hospital and stores! Hmm, maybe even take the kid volunteering on weekends, that would be a great character builder. Want to come with me this weekend to see how it works? I'll call Bob, he can get you a visitor pass. Let's do that today, after we call Amy. She'd be thrilled to help you set up the same kind of company that she did! Did you know that she also makes cupcakes for local shows now too?
IEI: Argh, you're not listening! I just can't do this!
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And this goes on and on and on, because I am completely missing the fact that she just really feels overwhelmed and wants to talk out her fears and concerns. And by the end of the conversation I am frustrated because I have come up with brilliant answers to all of her questions, and she is frustrated because she has no idea why I'm volunteering her to open a daycare and move across town when all she wanted to do was talk about how afraid she is to have a kid on her own.
Is either person right or wrong? Nope. Just not walking the same path, and it takes work from both people to get to the same place again. The IEE needs to take a step back and think about *all* of the possible meanings of what the IEI is saying (and ask which one is meant if there's any question), and the IEI needs to work on clarifying exactly what they're trying to say without feeling personally attacked if they haven't quite managed it yet.
And, sometimes, there will be conversation topics where both people are equally bad at communicating with each other. Those you might want to just let go and talk about with other people.
Originally Posted by sarinana
From my experience ESEs just generally talk about boring things (not always but usually). Like my ESE teacher she likes getting into personal talks with her students and so whenever I have those personal talks with her she doesn't jump from one idea to another like this guy. It's more like she starts telling the story and after 3minutes I already get what she wanted to say and what's the main point but she keeps on going into more and more details without an end. And I try to tell her politely since she is my teacher like "yeah I understood now let me goooo" but she simply does not listen. It just feels like she takes too much of my time and that's kinda annoying. I swear she could make a one hour speech about an orange.
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. Looks like unwittingly i put extra emphasis on that one phone call, when in reality, who knows, maybe IEE just wanted to chat. I was just trying to say i doubt he forgot what he wanted to say.