How does delta fill the emptiness inside?

**Lobo** · 03-31-2010, 12:49 AM

I wonder how deltas deal with having emptiness of the soul, and what kind of thing has helped or hasn't.

**UDP** · 03-31-2010, 12:51 AM

Originally Posted by Ryu

*slap's lobo's bottom*

Alright, now that this is out of the way, let the serious discussion continue.

**silverchris9** · 03-31-2010, 12:52 AM

Cookies. They fill it with cookies.

Seriously, though, I don't know. Probably some sort of cause, helping others, getting outside yourself to really do some good in the world.

Then of course the things that make everyone happier: more close relationships, more fulfilling job/hobby/something, having some sort of goal that you're making progress towards.

**UDP** · 03-31-2010, 12:53 AM

Cookies, physicality, and sharing discovering life with people, those do it a lot. The more meaningful things I share with people, the better.

I think you can also have a lot of tie-in there with your relationship to God....

**Lobo** · 03-31-2010, 12:56 AM

I don't want to make this into a "me" thread though, but idk, the emptiness just comes back and don't know what it is. I want to see what other people do, etc.

**silverchris9** · 03-31-2010, 12:58 AM

I think you can also have a lot of tie-in there with your relationship to God....

I wasn't going to go there, but yeah, I think a lot of the lack of satisfaction people tends to have does at least to some degree relate to the relationship with God or lack thereof. That's what I think anyway.

**Lobo** · 03-31-2010, 01:03 AM

I'm open to the possibility of emptiness being related to spirituality. It's like the feeling of not being satisfied, regardless of what you have... Wanting more from things/people and it not being delivered. It sucks.

**Suz** · 03-31-2010, 01:05 AM

Originally Posted by Ryu

Cookies, physicality, and sharing discovering life with people, those do it a lot. The more meaningful things I share with people, the better.

I think you can also have a lot of tie-in there with your relationship to God....

I like

lol to silverchris! You thought you were just kidding with the cookies right?

Creepy- · 03-31-2010, 01:29 AM

I deal w more anxiety than emptiness, but I definitely have experience w that empty feeling [as all people do, I'd guess]. I wish I had some grand piece of advice to offer, lol, but I don’t. Maybe some older, wiser Delta will come to the rescue of us all. But for now, here’s what occurs to me:

Sometimes thinking of and doing some random nice thing for another person/people helps. Actually, that's probably the one thing that almost always helps.

Painting helps a lot when I'm in those moods, too. I let my mind wander free; my thoughts swirl around for a while as I paint, and I almost always work through things in my head and feel a sense of relief afterward. It's like I keep myself busy w the activity of painting something and thinking about that, and that frees up the rest of my mind/energy to work on whatever problems I'm dealing with.

Walking or running through the forest w my dog is very relaxing to me and helps me focus my thoughts sometimes. I really like to hike up a mountain that’s near my house and then stand at the top and look out at everything stretching out in every direction… kind of helps w perspective. Plus, it’s quite a workout to get up there and endorphins are good things, heh. [BTW If I'm going for a walk/run bc I feel down, I usually don't take my iPod w me; it's better if I don't clutter my mind even more w outside noise.]

Sometimes writing helps when I feel anxious or down. I'll look up quotes on a particular topic, read through them, and take one that resonates w me as a jumping-off point for a journal entry [typed, not hand-written, bc my handwriting is atrocious... also my hands can keep up w my thoughts better if I'm typing].

...

**Beautiful sky** · 03-31-2010, 01:31 AM

I go dancing. Hang out with friends and family.

**Minde** · 03-31-2010, 02:05 AM

This might sound cliche and fake to some people, but for me the thing that by and far does it is God and his love. It's a kind of... underpinning security, something I can always go back to, rely on, and get meaning from. So I'll pray, sometimes I'll read my Bible (since that's one verbal way I can hear from him), sometimes I'll just think about things. Other things that I can do include checking to see if I'm physically healthy (sometimes chemicals and their imbalances can do weird things), get hugs from people I love (I heard once that people need a certain number of hugs a day, and I think we all don't get near that quota), play/cuddle with an animal (furry ones are generally best for this), do something nice for someone. Sometimes distractions help, but if it's a deeper thing that only postpones and even builds the feelings up, so that might not always be the best idea.

Generally, for me, the emptiness feeling is temporary. Which it seems, from what I've observed of lots of other people, might be a little unusual. It seems to come on me most often after I've spent some time ignoring God, though I think circumstances and hormonal changes can play a part, too.

I do want to say I'm not entirely sure there's a perfect connection between being close to God and not experiencing emptiness. I mean, I know of quite a few people of great faith who also chronically suffered from depression, for example. So saying, "You need to know God and your problems will be fixed", is hardly the answer I'd give. All I can really offer are my own experiences.

**Mattie** · 03-31-2010, 02:25 AM

I don't have a feeling of emptiness and I'm an atheist

You give meaning to everything around you, not anything/anyone else. So if you want to give yourself importance, or find a goal that you can realistically attain, it'll be of your own volition. You are making yourself feel empty, not the world or anything else.

**Lobo** · 03-31-2010, 03:19 AM

Originally Posted by look.to.the.sky

I don't have a feeling of emptiness and I'm an atheist

You give meaning to everything around you, not anything/anyone else. So if you want to give yourself importance, or find a goal that you can realistically attain, it'll be of your own volition. You are making yourself feel empty, not the world or anything else.

I wasn't going for spiritual necessarily with this thread. Also, I don't agree with that last sentence, to me it goes against the concept of being stimulated by the senses. Feeling involves external stimuli. How can I make myself feel empty? or why would I even want to do such a thing?

**UDP** · 03-31-2010, 04:16 AM

Originally Posted by Minde

This might sound cliche and fake to some people, but for me the thing that by and far does it is God and his love. It's a kind of... underpinning security, something I can always go back to, rely on, and get meaning from. So I'll pray, sometimes I'll read my Bible (since that's one verbal way I can hear from him), sometimes I'll just think about things.

Since I've developed my spiritual self more and gotten to know God better and such things... I've noticed that my ability to recover from "bad situations" and "bad feelings" has gotten a lot better. Sure bad times still happen, but I feel much more grounded now in my life.

Other things that I can do include checking to see if I'm physically healthy (sometimes chemicals and their imbalances can do weird things), get hugs from people I love (I heard once that people need a certain number of hugs a day, and I think we all don't get near that quota), play/cuddle with an animal (furry ones are generally best for this), do something nice for someone. Sometimes distractions help, but if it's a deeper thing that only postpones and even builds the feelings up, so that might not always be the best idea.

Esp the hugs part.

Also for myself, I have realized that I need to do stuff. I seriously become depressed if I don't do stuff and I'm not involved. My current signature features a quote from Holmes about mental stagnation, and I relate to that, but also physical stagnation - doing things that are productive are good, but also actually physically getting up and doing things. Sometimes when I'm not feeling well and I have to 'sit still' for a while or can't move much, part of the problem is that I'm not moving around and being my usual involved, interactive self. I think that other people are the same way to, to varying degrees. But definitely for me, I have a strong craving for involvement.

**Suz** · 03-31-2010, 05:16 AM

Originally Posted by Minde

This might sound cliche and fake to some people, but for me the thing that by and far does it is God and his love. It's a kind of... underpinning security, something I can always go back to, rely on, and get meaning from. So I'll pray, sometimes I'll read my Bible (since that's one verbal way I can hear from him), sometimes I'll just think about things. Other things that I can do include checking to see if I'm physically healthy (sometimes chemicals and their imbalances can do weird things),

My EII sister does that a lot.

Originally Posted by Minde

get hugs from people I love (I heard once that people need a certain number of hugs a day, and I think we all don't get near that quota), play/cuddle with an animal (furry ones are generally best for this), do something nice for someone. Sometimes distractions help, but if it's a deeper thing that only postpones and even builds the feelings up, so that might not always be the best idea.

Ditto to that!

hugs and furry animals. Or better yet, hugging furry animals!

Creepy-male · 03-31-2010, 02:01 AM

Originally Posted by SoapOfSapphire

[as all people do, I'd guess]

It's really transient for me. Matter of hours type transient. Maybe it's an Aristocratic thing?

EDIT

And it's less a "nothing delivers" sentiment, but more of a specific want for something I see as missing. I also have a weird habit of transmuting that want into a want for some concrete experience, like sitting somewhere with lots of trees and no people, or a hug, or something.

**Cyrano** · 03-31-2010, 11:26 AM

Originally Posted by SoapOfSapphire

I deal w more anxiety than emptiness, but I definitely have experience w that empty feeling [as all people do, I'd guess]. I wish I had some grand piece of advice to offer, lol, but I don’t. Maybe some older, wiser Delta will come to the rescue of us all. But for now, here’s what occurs to me:

Sometimes thinking of and doing some random nice thing for another person/people helps. Actually, that's probably the one thing that almost always helps.

Painting helps a lot when I'm in those moods, too. I let my mind wander free; my thoughts swirl around for a while as I paint, and I almost always work through things in my head and feel a sense of relief afterward. It's like I keep myself busy w the activity of painting something and thinking about that, and that frees up the rest of my mind/energy to work on whatever problems I'm dealing with.

Walking or running through the forest w my dog is very relaxing to me and helps me focus my thoughts sometimes. I really like to hike up a mountain that’s near my house and then stand at the top and look out at everything stretching out in every direction… kind of helps w perspective. Plus, it’s quite a workout to get up there and endorphins are good things, heh. [BTW If I'm going for a walk/run bc I feel down, I usually don't take my iPod w me; it's better if I don't clutter my mind even more w outside noise.]

Sometimes writing helps when I feel anxious or down. I'll look up quotes on a particular topic, read through them, and take one that resonates w me as a jumping-off point for a journal entry [typed, not hand-written, bc my handwriting is atrocious... also my hands can keep up w my thoughts better if I'm typing].

...

This is why you are Queen of the Deltans. Great advice for all 16 types.

**jewels** · 03-31-2010, 01:59 PM

I used to ignore it, and just eat a cookie or get really anxious and try to ignore feeling bad. But now I sit there and ask myself why I feel that way/what I'm really feeling/what I need to do to feel better. And that really helps.

The feelings are just an indication that something is not working for you at your life in that moment, so ignoring it just makes it worse.

I also talk about this stuff w/ a few close peeps and that always helps and usually ends up in an inspiring sort of discussion.

Creepy- · 03-31-2010, 02:05 PM

Originally Posted by Cyrano

This is why you are Queen of the Deltans. Great advice for all 16 types.

Aw, shucks

Originally Posted by jewels

I used to ignore it, and just eat a cookie or get really anxious and try to ignore feeling bad. But now I sit there and ask myself why I feel that way/what I'm really feeling/what I need to do to feel better. And that really helps.

The feelings are just an indication that something is not working for you at your life in that moment, so ignoring it just makes it worse.

I also talk about this stuff w/ a few close peeps and that always helps and usually ends up in an inspiring sort of discussion.

I relate w this too.

When I'm feeling anxious I often find that it's because something is bothering me but I have pushed it away without taking the time/energy to really understand what is bothering me and why. That's why writing helps me sometimes... actually I'm thinking now of that quote, "How can I know what I think until I see what I say?" I'm pretty sure I'm taking that out of context by relating it here, but it is relevant [to me at least] bc by writing and seeing what comes out I sometimes come to realizations about what's bothering me that I hadn't/might not have otherwise. The trick is taking the time to actually sit down and do it...

**The Greeter** · 03-31-2010, 06:24 AM

Originally Posted by Lobo

I wonder how deltas deal with having emptiness of the soul, and what kind of thing has helped or hasn't.

To be completely honest, I try to sleep.

But most of the time, that is not an option, particularly when one wakes up feeling the same way. I'll perhaps disclose the measures I take when I am conscious at a later time.

**Marie84** · 04-01-2010, 05:27 AM

I usually reflect on what is bothering me and think about how I can improve the situation; retaining feelings of self-pity and melancholy is not something I usually do, since I know that it won't help me get out of said negative state.

Overall, I find that doing something that's outside of myself makes me feel more fulfilled, whether it be doing or saying something nice to someone to brighten their day or/and use the wallowing time to work on something like cleaning or what not. Generally I find that I only feel unfulfilled when I'm being overly introspective, so I suppose when I'm not "in my head" I feel more purpose in life, and thus accomplish more

**jewels** · 04-01-2010, 06:14 AM

I'm definitely noticing a theme of doing nice things for others in this thread.

I know that really helps me.

I was in a huge slump today and this old lady at a store I was shopping at asked me to get some items down for her (she was short). And then she said how everyone in her family is tall except for her. It really cheered me up. I think she was actually an old IEE because she asked in a not very demanding way. Like "Do you know if that one way up there is purple like this one is?" It was cute

**Airman** · 04-01-2010, 08:08 AM

Thank you for the clues and comments, Workaholics.

I´m in doubt about my type so I´m going to post a picture in the VI topic to see what people think about my type.

**The Greeter** · 04-02-2010, 04:30 AM

Originally Posted by jewels

I'm definitely noticing a theme of doing nice things for others in this thread.

I know that really helps me.

Great observation and, actually it is how I deal with the emptiness. In fact, I usually feel empty when I think I am not doing enough...

Sometimes, I think that my personal psychological constitution will inevitably collapse. But I know I have people who will be there for me.

Also, I am very happy with all the responses.

**Simon Ssmall** · 04-01-2010, 08:39 AM

Originally Posted by Lobo

I wonder how deltas deal with having emptiness of the soul, and what kind of thing has helped or hasn't.

Whatever I did it did not bring me happiness so I do not think I know the right answer. I tried travels, I tried dating women just to distract myself. First didn't work after a quite short period, second brought quite shitty results (hurting people).

Although the second thing actually solved the problem eventually, I guess I just found the right person (At least I think so now), so I do not feel empty anymore. I think my life makes perfect sense and I have a direction which I can follow without distractions and feelings of emptiness or loneliness.

**somavision** · 04-01-2010, 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by Lobo

I wonder how deltas deal with having emptiness of the soul, and what kind of thing has helped or hasn't.

Focus on what is required to fill that emptiness, not on specifics, but general things. If it is love, focus on finding a true love that brings mutual happiness and enriches the soul. That focus can help draw you away from damaging situations and guide you to where you need to go.

close your eyes and forget the details and ask yourself in the simplest terms "what is it I need to fill my soul with joy"
Ifa person appears as the answer, ask yourself what it is about that person. Is it something real, or is it part of a fantasy? break down the things that you like, work out what is real and what's projected.
Ask yourself other questions, find out what else in your life is unsatisfactory, choose your path and march, march towards joy, and bliss and all the shiny good things in the world.

It won't make things better straight away, however by focusing on what you realistically need, it can help you see past narrow infatuations, enrich your spirit and give fresh purpose.

Originally Posted by Lobo

This is one of those unrequited love cases where I'm having a hard time separating testosterone to actually feeling love. Now that you put it that way, nah, this isn't much worth it. The problem I have though is how can you still be friends once it gets to that point? It seems masochistic to just keep interacting and having these feelings come up again, leading to pain and frustration.

Back away, if you are meant to be friends in future you will be.

**Lobo** · 04-01-2010, 02:07 PM

Originally Posted by somavision

Back away, if you are meant to be friends in future you will be.

The thing is this happened before and now is happening again. I'm seeing a pattern here. It seems too wishful to think that we can be friends without me getting those feelings again. Well, unless I get a gf or something.

**Airman** · 04-01-2010, 09:11 PM

Workaholics:the guys I said that used to go to rave parties and take xtc with me are socionics ISTPs very probably.

thanks a lot for taking me away from that irritating MBTI thing and bringing some light to my understanding. now I´m reading only socionics sources.

and yes I think this stuff about dualization is too intense, too emotionally-charged perhaps that´s why I´ve never had an INFJ girlfriend or even date as far as I remember and only now this one INFJ girl popped up again. If it is not materialized, or if it fails at a certain point, the emotional stress is too much. I don´t know if it´s worth.

**Absurd** · 04-01-2010, 09:13 PM

Originally Posted by Airborne

Workaholics:the guys I said that used to go to rave parties and take xtc with me are socionics ISTPs very probably.