Dual relationship tension - help!

[Jarno]

I don't think I have a clear answer but...

I've read in dual descriptions that there is such a period that duals are frustrated with eachother. But I don't know if that is what you are dealing with now.

Next to this, ISTJ-Se is a conflict seeker. They have a need for a fight now and then. So...

[1981slater]

The best way to deal with angry people: when they start to bitch around, take your jacket and go for a walk. After 1-2 hours, go back to your home and act as if nothing happened. End of story.

[Ave]

I don't think I have a clear answer but...

I've read in dual descriptions that there is such a period that duals are frustrated with eachother. But I don't know if that is what you are dealing with now.

I beleive so. Its not so much conflicts going on as it is tension.

[munenori2]

Not to be cynical, but she just isn't that into you. She has assumed the power position and is probably banging some guy right now. Dump her and see how she reacts. If she does anything, she probably cares. If she doesn't, she doesn't.

[Ave]

Not to be cynical, but she just isn't that into you.

I highly doubt that, and im not being delusional.

because

Dump her and see how she reacts. If she does anything, she probably cares. If she doesn't, she doesn't.

She said "if you wannna break up just tell me ok but if you tho just know you killed me the rest of the way..."

[shakealittle]

I highly doubt that, and im not being delusional.

She is taking you for granted and is far too complacent. If i can ask, what did you do once you found out she cheated on you?

[thePirate]

dump her ass, this shit is fucked up.

dual or not, no one should treat you like that.

she crossed the line now and deserves punishment.

beta stylee

[redbaron]

dump her ass, this shit is fucked up.

dual or not, no one should treat you like that.

she crossed the line now and deserves punishment.

beta stylee

+100

[Slacker]

dump her ass, this shit is fucked up.

dual or not, no one should treat you like that.

she crossed the line now and deserves punishment.

beta stylee

I don't care what type she or you is. She was and is wrong and you should find someone who appreciates you.

[Ave]

She is taking you for granted and is far too complacent. If i can ask, what did you do once you found out she cheated on you?

I cried, and she told me to stop crying because it made her hurt knowing she had hurt me already. Then she mutilated her arm with a needle. The hole was about the size of a screw a nail.

[munenori2]

I cried, and she told me to stop crying because it made her hurt knowing she had hurt me already. Then she mutilated her arm with a needle. The hole was about the size of a screw a nail.

Yeah, but we're still talking about what she did to feel good about herself. What will you do? Because that's the issue, right? You feel something's off and hence the question presents itself.

[Suz]

I cried, and she told me to stop crying because it made her hurt knowing she had hurt me already. Then she mutilated her arm with a needle. The hole was about the size of a screw a nail.

um, weird??

Drama much?

[Blaze]

Not to be cynical, but she just isn't that into you. She has assumed the power position and is probably banging some guy right now. Dump her and see how she reacts. If she does anything, she probably cares. If she doesn't, she doesn't.

sounds right.

[Shagbag The Wizard]

She said "if you wannna break up just tell me ok but if you tho just know you killed me the rest of the way..."

I'm sorry but this is entirely one-sided. She is not considering how her behaviour is affecting YOU. Being LSI is no excuse for treating you like shit. Also, she would only be "killing" herself, don't let her pin that shit on you. It's not like you are being unreasonable for godsake.


If she says she loves you, then fine, who am I to judge. However it's clear you both have very different ideas about what love is, and God knows LSIs will not budge even with a gun to their head, so I'm not sure that talking is gonna do much good.


Whether you love her enough to continue putting up with this is ofc up to you, but I know that ethical types in particular can potentially allow themselves to be horribly abused if they believe they are enduring it for the higher purpose of "love".


I'm sorry, man, I really, really empathise with you. I've been in a similar situation and it was hell.

[Ave]

If she says she loves you, then fine, who am I to judge. However it's clear you both have very different ideas about what love is.

Explain please.

[FDG]

She cheated on you? Wants an open relationship? Well, I'd sugget to cut all contact and forget about her. I don't think she thinks of herself as being in a relationship with you.

I cried, and she told me to stop crying because it made her hurt knowing she had hurt me already. Then she mutilated her arm with a needle. The hole was about the size of a screw a nail.

ROTFL, I hope the needle was at least HIV-infected

[Ave]

And not to do a turn around and stand up for her, but shes done things for me that are sweet too. Like shes written me tons of poetry. And you know how they can say LSIs like you or not rather easily? Well, I can telll shes reallly really into me and everyone around me (including my parents) see it too.

[silverchris9]

You're being too nice. Toughen up and see what the relationship does from there. If you're still not getting what you need out of the relationship, leave it. There is an issue of power balance in this relationship, and while power games should not have a place in a relationship, clearly in this case, they do, so, get up and get back some power.

Also, do you really want to be with a girl, dual or not, who treats you like crap? I know at least two or three LSI females out of the people that I'm fairly good friends with, so I feel like they're not that that hard to find. And even if you don't hook up with a dual right after this girl, sometimes you just need someone who's into you. Helps restore the self-esteem, you know.

Also, like Shagbag (lol), I'm sorry too, this all sounds like not-fun.