"I love you" or "I love you and I cannot live without you"

[1981slater]

There is a motto in Spain (or elsewhere):

"You don't love whom you want to love, but whom you can't help loving"

[Joy]

There is a motto in Spain (or elsewhere):

"You don't love whom you want to love, but whom you can't help loving"

[1981slater]

Proverbs are so accurate...and painful

[tiny_dancer]

"You don't love whom you want to love, but whom you can't help loving"

I feel this way about duality.

[redbaron]

Why go in if you're already looking for a way out? I'd much rather not be in a relationship at all than enter one I was already thinking about leaving. As for the question, If I ever decide to get involved with anyone again, it'll be because I really want to, because I want to be with him, not a "oh, this'll do, good enough" kind of thing. But, "I can't live without you" is too much, there's too much losing of self in that, an overdependency.

yes.

[Joy]

I like that. You can't really mean that Joy, can you? Why go in if you're already looking for a way out? I'd much rather not be in a relationship at all than enter one I was already thinking about leaving.

No, I don't really mean that.

[stanprollyright]

The statement can come off as needy if spoken too soon, but there comes a certain point in a relationship when a level of codependency is a good thing. It takes some vulnerability to tell someone you rely on them that much, and you can't have a relationship without vulnerability. I've said this to people and I would like it to be said to me sometime, because I want to feel needed, I want to know that I've had enough positive impact on my SO's life that she feels she can't have it any other way. Of course I would never want someone to kill herself because of a lack of me. But at the end of the day love is simply an emotion you feel; it's temporary. Expressing how you feel in terms of necessity speaks more towards a long-term commitment than just a simple "I love you."

[Joy]

That's not what codependency means. That's more like interdependency or something.

[anou]

"I love you and I cannot live without you."

I think it`s not only about if someone says that but also why. Maybe one wants to show the intense of his or her love by exaggerating. like a sort of visualization or something. Some people may see it being a lie, because everyone is able to survive without a loved person. Others may not, because it is the ebullient but true feeling of the moment. (Truth seems relative sometimes )
This expression seems kind of dramatic. Therefore I can imagine some types having a stronger tendence doing that or appreciating it than others. And maybe there is a tendence related to type feeling a "pressure" caused of that or not!?

When I read this sentence the first time it sounded unhealthy to me. It`s an extreme situation but If there is a constant feeling of inability living without someone there could exist some "emotional" dependence/addiction to a person (sorry my english is not the best). The intention of this sentence would be pressure, probably out of fear of being left by the partner.. It`s really sad. It`s like a mutual dependence, because in this case the sentence "I can`t live without you" is something like a means of might . There could develope something like mutual dependence, because the other person starts feeling responsible for one`s life and happiness in an extreme way. This kind of pressure seems a bit like wielding power on one`s conscience in order to make the other person to care or not to leave or something.
I don`t think "emotional dependence" to someone is type related.

I think it`s not so much about the sentence itself but what it represents.
These two possibilities are extreme but they are the once ones being in my mind at the moment. I`m not very imaginative, there are much more...

On a serious tip, have you investigated the possibility that your distaste for Fe has more to do with a distaste for a certain romantic thing? I was just thinking that it's not impossible that you actually are a Ti/Fe valuer but you just have a thing (possibly not socionics-related) against a certain way of expressing romantic feelings. I just say that because the whole dry, practical romance thing is, to me, the lynchpin for my agreeing with your LSE self-typing, but then it occurred to me that there are so many factors that go into one's attitude towards romance that have nothing to do with socionics... Not that I'm seriously questioning your type; I just know that others here do and they might have good reasons. I myself do not atm.

This is really interesting Silverchris9, because in a way it expresses an impression I receive in this forum.

[stanprollyright]

I don`t think "emotional dependence" to someone is type related.

I disagree. I think it has a lot to do with position of Fi.

[redbaron]

I disagree. I think it has a lot to do with position of Fi.

really? So like Fi polr would be less dependent, for example?

[stanprollyright]

That's not what codependency means. That's more like interdependency or something.

It was early in the morning :redface: Interdependency is correct.