I know this sounds a little obvious.
There really is nothing left, though. I don't even enjoy posting here, online. It's like I've been trying to find something that I enjoy or 'feel good' doing, but I've elmiated everyone of them, mastered them all.
The last thing for me is academic success. 4.0 success.
That' is the last thing for me to do, that and personal (spiritual and efficiency) development, and if I ever come across a girl a relationship later, I guess. (But that involves someone else, so it's not really important right now, etc etc, *intjspeak*, etc).
Part of the problem is the basic human etropy factor, but also, that I know I don't 'need' to get a 4.0 or anything like that. It's not necessary at all.
I guess part of my question to fellow INTjs... is......
how do you motivate yourself to follow at goal such as this?
Or is it simply that there isn't anything else you'd rather do anyways?
Over the last 2 weeks I've been completely reconfiguring things, new study habits and such, getting much more serious about my schoolwork and studying, etc. I like it, because I feel like I'm not "just settling" anymore. It's new, it's fun, it's a challenge. And I think if I keep going with it, I could push myself towards the "4.0" ideal.
Lastly, I will say that a factor in the generation of this post is that I just spent a few hours seeing a dance club perform with some relatives here at my college. It felt strange sitting there. But no, it wasn't strange. It was an odd "feeling of oneself". I could feel it in a deep down sort of way, it brought something out. I can't describe it very much, just a sort of "I don't really want to be here - what else would I rather be doing?" but in a somewhat trancendent way, encompasing more than that moment, etc. What I am I doing here in college?
Will I let being a "mediocre" above average student in the past guide my ways, or will I become something more? Can I make academics a true passion and devote myself to it like I feel so much I should be doing? Things like that.
I guess that's all for now.
The mundane world is giving me a boring, friday night headache.
I will seek to use my dislike of this as motivation.