Yeah but straight-out bossiness is just unproductive, even an ESTj should know that. So in my mind a frustrated non-se valuer uses bossiness or power games to try and control what they're fed up with. I'm not sure if I ever felt the estj confliction was 'bossiness' per se. It was more like .... blah. I just didn't like them. =/ It's hard for me to even say why now that I think about it. I just know we clashed.