Haha, it's good to be in control. Driving the relationship.
Especially, like Minde alluded to, a lot of Delta NFs don't feel a strong need to be in a relationship it seems... similar to Delta STs. Both LSEs and EIIs specifically are pretty independent people; which, when together, in duality descriptions, makes them one of the least social and most reclusive duality pairs of them all.
Being independent, and being naturally slow-developing relationships as mentioned in the other thread on this forum, the good thing is you can be upfront with how you feel in the short-term, get that 'do they like me' stuff out of the way, and then you can enjoy spending time with each other, and seeing if it'll play out long-term.
The good part is getting in a stable, long-term relationship with someone you truly enjoy spending time with, someone you can easily see living every day with, someone you grow to trust. I don't think either of us, Delta STs or Delta NFs, want to rush into something quickly, but are more focused on the long-term anyway. I feel both sides can be frustrated at times by each other's caution, yet have an unspoken code and respect for it, too. And at the same time, continue to respect and enjoy spending time with each other; and somehow grow to be loyal over time to you, just by spending time with you. And once you've grown used to each other, you can know they won't leave you, that they will fight to remain with you as long as possible, and you can give in, love them with everything you have, and know that they are your soulmate.
I can't believe I just wrote something so mushy!
My roommate is an LSE! We have the same values, and that always helps any relations. lol As far as interests and personality, at first we seemed like opposites, but slowly it turned out to be opposites in a good way. The other LSE I knew...we clashed a lot, but our values were quite different. Perhaps I'll finally experience positive duality!
The problem is we're both very formal people. Already the girls in the rooms next to us are totally comfortable hanging out (though perhaps they can't discuss serious topics with each other?), while my roommate and I...can't drop verbal formalities. Oh well...I'm still satisfied.
N-EII ~~~ 6>1 sp/so ~~~ INFJ
No type is smarter, better, more difficult to handle, or harder to be than another.
Personality theory doesn’t predict what a person will think or do.
Any type in one theory can be any type in another.
If she doesn't know how to assert herself and say, "You're not really my type," then she might reject you passively by turning down dates and not returning calls.A hypothetical situation: Say an LSE is attracted to an EII and makes advances to get to know her. The EII responds politely. Is the EII attracted to the LSE or is she just being polite? How would she make it clear to the LSE that she isn't interested, being Se PoLR and all?
Obviously if you're trying to get a straightforward answer, this is frustrating. But if the person the EII is trying to get away from is, say, someone who is emotionally taxing to the EII who would also make a big drama out of seperation, it's a sly technique.
/too lazy to see if it's already been said
N-EII ~~~ 6>1 sp/so ~~~ INFJ
No type is smarter, better, more difficult to handle, or harder to be than another.
Personality theory doesn’t predict what a person will think or do.
Any type in one theory can be any type in another.
Do you like girls?
kidding
She is wiseWhy I love LSEs:
beyond words
beautiful within
her soul
brighter than
the sun
lovelier than
love
dreams larger
than life
and does not
understand the
meaning of no.
Because everything
through her, and in her, is
"Yes, it will be done."
Originally Posted by Abbie
I've known a few ESTjs now who have feelings like that - where they're strong and they come out strongly but there's also fear that it might be too much. It might be too much sometimes, sure, but in the end it's endearing. I will encourage expressing feelings if it means someone can gain more familiarity with them.
From a theoretical perspective, Ne subtypes are "further away" from Se so I can see how they'd have a much harder time with it. That said, Ne subytpes also are more "extroverted" in the sense that their more dominant information element is an extroverted one. So they may end up being more abrasive or insistent with their ideas, for example.
Anyway, yeah, afraid of intruding - that's what often keeps me from initiating.
I guess I'd say if it isn't a really strong reaction of dislike it then they probably like you well enough to keep hanging around.
I don't know how much more I can help except to say that I think it's sweet of you to care enough to keep trying to find the right way to connect and get close.
I'm sorry.
What isn't working out?
He's six months now. He is getting bigger, but so far he's smaller than I expected. He's only about 40 pounds and hardly taller than my knee.
I'd laugh more if it didn't resonate so much.
Ah, there's the question. The thing is, a "friend" who is used like that seems to become an object in the mind of the "user" - and objects don't need affection or emotional support. Except, of course, when they stop working. Then attention is paid until the services resume or until it gets too tedious to keep providing the care.
There are some good people out there; I know some. But, you're right, nobody's perfect and everybody's selfish and tends to look out for their own interests first. It's human nature and what leads to the brokenness in the world.
For myself, I've learned how to be somewhat self-sufficient emotionally. For most things I work it out internally and/or turn to God for soothing and comfort. This isolates me in a way, I've discovered. But not having to rely on others means that if they do let me down I'll still be ok.
Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.
Relationship maintenance time:
Dear Delta's please check in with your feeling barometers LOL
How are you doing?
Any pressing relationship problems, issues, you need to talk about and be comforted with?
Need a cozy and warm Fi hug?
How's your general health and happiness?
@Crow,
A word of advice, my dear EII.
Stomp those feelings and dampen them and you can deal with the ESTj much better.
I know it's tough; expecting things of reality to match your ideals and not getting that in return isn't always going to happen. But, no need to turn negativistic about it and expect that it won't happen from others. LOL, don't generalize and apply it to others; you might get some good results if you learned to look in other circles. Try some different ways. There are truly great people everywhere. I know you can find them. You've been one yourself.
Last edited by Beautiful sky; 09-12-2011 at 01:52 AM.
-
Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?
I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE
Best description of functions:
http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html
Hey, I'm getting one. I got no money but I gotOriginally Posted by Arsal
She is wiseWhy I love LSEs:
beyond words
beautiful within
her soul
brighter than
the sun
lovelier than
love
dreams larger
than life
and does not
understand the
meaning of no.
Because everything
through her, and in her, is
"Yes, it will be done."
Originally Posted by Abbie
wtf Reyne is stealing my cookies?
Or were they the ones I made for the forum?
Johari/Nohari
"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."
Fruit, the fluffy kitty.
YOU SHOULD GET A LAWYER AND CHANGE YOUR NAME.
Hello Rayn. Wanna trade some cookies for a french pancake?
Last edited by Park; 09-17-2011 at 07:54 PM.
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
THat's funny I thought I edited it correctly afterwards oh well
Johari/Nohari
"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."
Fruit, the fluffy kitty.
Hey ryene, want a free cheese and spice panfried waffle?
She is wiseWhy I love LSEs:
beyond words
beautiful within
her soul
brighter than
the sun
lovelier than
love
dreams larger
than life
and does not
understand the
meaning of no.
Because everything
through her, and in her, is
"Yes, it will be done."
Originally Posted by Abbie
I'm about a month into my job. It's going well. I've made friends with an interesting fellow. He seems to be showing interest, and I do like him, but I don't think we're compatible. So I'm just trying to figure out what's ok and what isn't in terms of hanging out and stuff. (We're both Christian, so casual sex is out of the picture.) No real read on his type yet. He seems like an extrovert, in the social sense.*eyes him and waits for the catch*
Johari/Nohari
"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."
Fruit, the fluffy kitty.
Hi, I'm a christian too, and I'm only having sex after marriage.I'm about a month into my job. It's going well. I've made friends with an interesting fellow. He seems to be showing interest, and I do like him, but I don't think we're compatible. So I'm just trying to figure out what's ok and what isn't in terms of hanging out and stuff. (We're both Christian, so casual sex is out of the picture.) No real read on his type yet. He seems like an extrovert, in the social sense.
Also, I feed you.
*toss*
She is wiseWhy I love LSEs:
beyond words
beautiful within
her soul
brighter than
the sun
lovelier than
love
dreams larger
than life
and does not
understand the
meaning of no.
Because everything
through her, and in her, is
"Yes, it will be done."
Originally Posted by Abbie
Pardon my indolence lords, but you sound Alpha SF. Haha.
Johari/Nohari
"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."
Fruit, the fluffy kitty.
*Pats head* Nownow that's a good girl.
Would you go out with me/hang around me, and continue to do so on a regular basis? I promise a regular supply of non-indented, gradient-differentiated food that will adequately satisfy your bunny need and wants. Your tummy and tongue will be delighted by the olfactory and gustatory delights provided by the labour of my hand and heart. Also, I give out free pats for well-behaved bunnies like yourself.I think there was a thread about this here in Delta where me and Minde talked about this...
Anyways, if you didn't see it yet, my view is that measuring attraction on the EII's behalf will probably not be instantaneous. The best indication, yet an obvious one, would be that the EII is agreeing to go out with you/hang around you, and continues to do so on a regular basis
She is wiseWhy I love LSEs:
beyond words
beautiful within
her soul
brighter than
the sun
lovelier than
love
dreams larger
than life
and does not
understand the
meaning of no.
Because everything
through her, and in her, is
"Yes, it will be done."
Originally Posted by Abbie
What's with Delta and attracting manic people who are ambiguously mistyped?
And how come I got kicked out when I visited? Is Delta an exclusive club for Deltas and crazy people only?
Know I'm mistyped?
Why I am now.
Why I was , once.
DISCLAIMER
The statements expressed in this signature may not necessarily reflect reality.
Just like what our great lordship says above.
She is wiseWhy I love LSEs:
beyond words
beautiful within
her soul
brighter than
the sun
lovelier than
love
dreams larger
than life
and does not
understand the
meaning of no.
Because everything
through her, and in her, is
"Yes, it will be done."
Originally Posted by Abbie
Of course they don't. They love me. They pleasure themselves over me.
She is wiseWhy I love LSEs:
beyond words
beautiful within
her soul
brighter than
the sun
lovelier than
love
dreams larger
than life
and does not
understand the
meaning of no.
Because everything
through her, and in her, is
"Yes, it will be done."
Originally Posted by Abbie
So you now go by the handle of 'privilege'?
She is wiseWhy I love LSEs:
beyond words
beautiful within
her soul
brighter than
the sun
lovelier than
love
dreams larger
than life
and does not
understand the
meaning of no.
Because everything
through her, and in her, is
"Yes, it will be done."
Originally Posted by Abbie
You got kicked out? You're like one of the most eligible non-Delta Deltas ever. I'll totally save you a spot next to me if you decide to come back.
On a different note, when I first saw this years ago I remember immediately feeling envy along with the startlement. Every so often I still find myself wishing for something like that of my own.
Somebody gets uncomfortably close? Spikes! And I have my personal space back without having to say a word.
Who knows? We have other sci-fi things now, like computers we can talk to, mind-reading devices, 3D printers, video calling...
Not that I'd actually want to hurt anyone and usually I'm actually fairly forgiving with invasions of personal space, but there are times when people are just plain rude and pushy... and creepy...
Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.
Johari/Nohari
"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."
Fruit, the fluffy kitty.
Oh. I also have another package for the bad bunnies but they tend to involve chains and whips.It was looking good until you reached "well-behaved". Which reminds me, I need to go post in that thread.
She is wiseWhy I love LSEs:
beyond words
beautiful within
her soul
brighter than
the sun
lovelier than
love
dreams larger
than life
and does not
understand the
meaning of no.
Because everything
through her, and in her, is
"Yes, it will be done."
Originally Posted by Abbie
Johari/Nohari
"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."
Fruit, the fluffy kitty.
That geographer dude probably isn't going to hang out much here this winter, but I'm still hoping. Who's going to help us prepare for Peak Oil if he's not around?
Went to the doctor some days back. Got a hypoglycemia diagnosis. The office is doing tests to determine the cause; the doctor doesn't think it's diabetes-related. We'll discuss treatment once the tests come back. In the meantime, it's caused me to take note of the sugar I'm consuming and to try not to have high-sugar foods on an empty stomach. Sugar crashes suck.
Johari/Nohari
"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."
Fruit, the fluffy kitty.
Johari/Nohari
"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."
Fruit, the fluffy kitty.
What kind of sugary drinks do you drink, soft drinks, coffee/tea, juice?
She is wiseWhy I love LSEs:
beyond words
beautiful within
her soul
brighter than
the sun
lovelier than
love
dreams larger
than life
and does not
understand the
meaning of no.
Because everything
through her, and in her, is
"Yes, it will be done."
Originally Posted by Abbie
The sight of those chocolate chip cookies actually made me want to gag. Apparently that's not what I want right now.
I'm going to go eat some tomalley instead.
....
I don't know why I'm being so rude, bitchy, and obnoxious. I hate when this happens. If I annoy anyone, I'm sorry.
Last edited by Nico1e; 10-11-2011 at 07:36 AM.
Until recently I was seeing a guy who was type I diabetic. His blood pressure drugs contributed to his severe blood sugar crashes.
Are you taking any other drugs besides insulin? - Oops, I misunderstood, edit. I thought you meant you HAD diabetes. So the doctor doesn't think you have diabetes, got it. But anyway, that's irrelevant. Point was that some drugs can cause the low sugar.
Last edited by Nico1e; 10-11-2011 at 07:45 AM.
Johari/Nohari
"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."
Fruit, the fluffy kitty.