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It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
ESTP
That would explain why she and I get along pretty darn well, but she and my INFj sister HATE each other. That would be the war I was talking about. I hate being stuck in the middle of their wars. I could never understand how I got along with both of them but they hated each other so much.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
ENTj I'd say.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
FDG, I can't see her as ENTj -- I think Rocky's right, she's ESTp; or ESFp sensory subtype perhaps. What I see in her is , not .
, LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
Originally Posted by implied
From http://www.socioniko.net/en/1.1.types/index-type.html
That is a very good description of her. Her outburts of anger with *me* are short-term, but with my sister draw out for months on end.This sensing function directs to occupation of space. People with this strong function are usually demanding people, which like when other people fulfill their wishes and demands. Sometimes they become managers, and sometimes – good sellers that can sell even unnecessary things. They often (but not always) have athletic, somewhat roundish figure, quick and demanding eyes. They are very persistent in the life: "If I want, then it should be achieved”, and they often gladly help other people – those who accept their leadership. Their outbursts of anger may fear some people, but in fact they are short-term – in several minutes they become calm again and restore their good mood.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
That sounds very ENFj to me.Originally Posted by Nicky
“Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”
Originally Posted by Gilly
The ENFj description sounds kind of like her too.
Hmm let me think of more things about her:
She likes to gossip, especially if it will create drama. She really likes having conflict around. If things are quiet she likes to stir people up.
She doesn't seem to be able to read people, that is she sometimes thinks people are angry at her when they aren't, or agree with her when they disagree.
She has a tendancy to be dishonest, but is very offended if that's pointed out to her. "How dare you question my integrity!"
She enjoys taking care of her family, but doesn't sacrifice herself for them. She sets up her family schedule so it is convenient for her. So long as it's convenient, she likes to keep busy doing things around the house.
I know people who think she's lazy but she seems to be busy all the time to me. She just does what she wants to keep busy at rather than what other people think she should be doing.
Does that help clear up what type she is?
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
Irrational,Originally Posted by Nicky
Sounds like very weak , so not ENFj.Originally Posted by Nicky
and either very strong, or very weak, . I guess very weak .Originally Posted by Nicky
The same as before, plus weakOriginally Posted by Nicky
To me it eliminates ENFj, and confirms ESTp or perhaps ESFp. I still think ESTp.Originally Posted by Nicky
, LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
Originally Posted by implied
She sounds a bit ESFp-ish too. I'll have to read up more on ESTp and ESFp.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
I'm seeing ESFj. Maybe. But I've been quite rusty at this for months.
Binary or dichotomous systems, although regulated by a principle, are among the most artificial arrangements that have ever been invented. -- William Swainson, A Treatise on the Geography and Classification of Animals (1835)
Yeah I considered ESFj at first too, especially the "taking care of family" and the "keep up with the Joneses" bits, but now I discount it due to the very weak .
, LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
Originally Posted by implied
The one thing that does *not* sound like her in the ESFp description is concern about hygeine. She is frankly pretty unhygenic.
The part of the ESTp description that does *not* sound like her is this:
She isn't at all self-disciplined. She's seriously impulsive (and has had real problems with that) and I can't imagine her ever being described as "dispassionate". She is very open with her emotions.Dispassionate. He seldom gives in to fear, hatred, and other negative emotions, rarely gets surprised and rarely envies. The more dangerous the situation, the more self-disciplined and resolute he becomes.
This part under the Oldham section of the ESFp description sounds *especially* like her (I've bolded stuff that really stands out and added some comments):
Oldham Style: Mercurial
Basic Pleasure Basic Fear
relationship being alone
Oldham's Type Description
1. Romantic attachment. Mercurial individuals must always be deeply involved in a romantic relationship with one person. Although her marriage is really rocky, she is despondent when she thinks about it's potential end.
2. Intensity. They experience a passionate, focused attachment in all their relationships. Nothing that goes on between them and other people is trivial, nothing taken lightly.
3. Heart. They show what they feel. They are emotionally active and reactive. Mercurial types put their hearts into everything.
4. Unconstraint. They are uninhibited, spontaneous, fun-loving, and undaunted by risk.
5. Activity. Energy marks the Mercurial style. These individuals are lively, creative, busy, and engaging. They show initiative and can stir others to activity.
6. Open mind. They are imaginative and curious, willing to experience and experiment with other cultures, roles, and value systems and to follow new paths. (This one not really - I don't see her as being open minded at all. In fact she can be quite a bigot.)
7. Alternate states. People with Mercurial style are skilled at distancing or distracting themselves from reality when it is painful or harsh. This is REALLY her. In fact one time I thought she was having a break from reality she was so not hearing what I was saying during an argument. It's like the parts of reality that didn't work with her viewpoint didn't exist at that moment.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
She's definitely a type, and sensory subtype.
Now I think she's ESFp sensory subtype, rather than ESTp. But ESTp sensory subtype is also possible.
What is clear is that she's strongly -oriented and very irrational (in the socionics sense).
Nicky, in her "quieter" moments, would you say she takes decisions based on logical thinking or on her emotions and principles?
In emergencies or crises, would you say she becomes decisive in a logical way or she tends to take decisions even more based on her emotions?
, LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
Originally Posted by implied
I think all of her decisions are based on her emotions and principles, particularly when she's in a crisis situation.
Although when she's trying to make a point, she'll say, "Now think this through . . ." as if she's using logic. But I don't think she does.
Not that I'm a good judge of use of logic.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
Then I'd say ESFp sensory subtype, which actually makes more sense if you get along well with her. As ESFp you are look-alikes, which is better than super-ego (if she was ESTp).
If she's ESFp she'd be your INFj sister's supervisor, probably made worse if she's sensory subtype.
What's her husband's type?
, LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
Originally Posted by implied
ISFj
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
Ok, so either mirror if ESFp, or supervisee if ESTp.
I have a personal theory that ISFjs sometimes get into unsatisfactory relationships with types because what they really want is from their duals but will go for if is absent or unfulfilling. Perhaps that's another indication of that.
, LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
Originally Posted by implied
Hmmm could be.
He says she's dishonest and he can't ever predict what she'll do. He said he doesn't trust her.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
She actually sounds typically ESTp to me. Their decisions are usually made very impulsively...I'm not sure what motivates that but sometimes it looks like emotions of wanting to fullfill something.
The ESTps I know get along very well with some people and others despise them, actually very much like the ENTp.
Some of them try to hide their faults rather than just admit them and get the help they need which sometimes ends up in disaster. Out of the three who I know absolutely are ESTps, one has been repeatedly fired from jobs because she just dominates her other co-workers and tries to lead even when she shouldn't be which causes a lot of animosity. The other 2 have been put on probation in the past for similar behavior and demeaning others around them. Its like they lack some impulse control or something...I dunno.
I can see them doing VERY well as their own boss in sales though and being much happier. Probably making them much nicer to be around. I could probably get along with an ESTp ok, I just don't work well with them.
I just had an after thought. My kind of impressions of the ones I knew were that they felt they should be in some high station in life. In situations where they weren't, they were a bit obnoxious to be around because they would try to get you to see them in that higher station. Even though they seem to ooze confidence, some of their behavior reminds me of a very insecure person.
There need for attention was disruptive and a bit tiring. I just don't see them as feeling secure but then again not one of them was their own boss. I think how well they get a long really depends what they are doing in life and who they are doing it with. Being around an ESTp who doesn't like you is miserable.
Polly
ENTP
Polly - that sounds like her too. She is insecure. She does think she should be of a higher station and I think some of her impulsive spending is related to that - she spends as if she has more money than she has on things that don't really improve her quality of life.
It sounds like she's definitely one of those two.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
6w5 sx
model Φ: -+0
sloan - rcuei
Yes. She is very sarcastic.Originally Posted by implied
Her dream is to be on The Amazing Race. Who would want to be on a reality show? Maybe that's another clue.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
ESFp, enneagram 3w2.Originally Posted by Nicky
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
I did not mean conflict avoidance, but that she did not seem to correcly pick up what others were feeling.Originally Posted by implied
, LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
Originally Posted by implied
6w5 sx
model Φ: -+0
sloan - rcuei
Does she have a look about her that seems... devout, almost angelic at times? I mean, like she's riding on air? Or, extremely at peace with the world around her?
It would be helpful if you could provide a picture.
I don't have a scanner and I don't think I have a picture on my computer but I'll check. The answer is no though. LOL. She's usually got a crafty look to her eyes and a mischievous smile.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
Again, I think the problem in typing her is that she's so -focused that it clouds her creative function.
@Polly: those ESTp characteristics you mentioned are also mostly -related and could also apply to an ESFp sensory subtype.
@implied: fair enough, but on the other hand an ESTp would not seem to be as emotion-driven as Nicky described, especially in crisis situations.
I do not really see a case for EXFj because of her inability to read other people's emotions.
So I'd say that she's very and an ESXp sensory subtype. I think more like ESFp than ESTp. But it could be either, really.
, LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
Originally Posted by implied
Here are some differences between the ESFps I know and the ESTps I know. Maybe that will help too.
ESTp: Can appear tuff but its more in a bullyish manipulaitive kind of way;
ESFp: Can appear tuff but its more in physical mighty way (even if they are teeny females);
ESTp: Not easily led by anyone;
ESFp: Can be led astray easily by people;
I personally found ESTps a lot more pretentious than the ESFps.
I actually found that ESTps and ESFps seem to get a long quite well but the ESTp seems to be more the leader of the relationship. Like Pinky and the Brain. The ESFps seem extremely loyal to the ESTp despite their behavior too.
As an outsider looking in, it looked like the ESTp always had the vantage point though
I find ESFps can get a long better too than ESTps. They don't seem hurt by their limitations and will ask for help. All the ESFps I know really valued other's opinions, almost to the point they could not make up their own mind.
I feel far more relaxed around an ESFp than an ESTp for some reason. I find I'm always on my guard a little bit when an ESTp is around (this was even way before I knew of MBTI and Myers-Briggs). Its almost like the ESFp has more respect for personal boundaries than the ESTp. I'm always guarding my boundaries so the ESTp won't cross them.
Most of the people I know who really disliked ESFps, did because they made value judgments on the ESFps lifestyle. Personally, I don't dislike any ESFp, I just wouldn't tell them a secret or trust them in that sense but for the most part I find them harmless and really fun to be around.
If I were to use music to describe the differences it would be:
ESTp: Interested in whatever they heard those they admired were listening to;
ESFp: Heavy metal chick
Polly
ENTP
She sounds more ESFp then. She is more physically bullish and she is easily led, but she isn't that bright so it could be related to intelligence rather than type.
She likes country music, but that's pretty common around here. She likes heavy metal too come to think of it.
And no I would NEVER tell her a secret. Not only would she tell everyone, she'd embellish it first.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
Are you sure? This is a very limited context, and Fe is about knowing how emotions and relationships work. But how do we know she isn't just analyzing things from a highly self-centered viewpoint? What about in other circumstances?Originally Posted by Expat
Sorry, but I can't see anything BUT a dominant Fe type in this woman.
Binary or dichotomous systems, although regulated by a principle, are among the most artificial arrangements that have ever been invented. -- William Swainson, A Treatise on the Geography and Classification of Animals (1835)
6w5 sx
model Φ: -+0
sloan - rcuei
Does she look anything like... this?Originally Posted by Nicky
http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=...50304837843991
She's about 15 years older and quite a bit heavier, so it's hard to compare, but I'd say the eyes and facial shape are quite similar. So maybe her in 15 years and after a couple of pregnancies. LOL
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
She sounds like some of the ESFj description at http://www.socioniko.net/en/1.1.types/index-type.html and not like others.
This is like her:
This is not at all like her:3. My home is your home. Hugo is a pleasant interlocutor and a very attentive listener. He can pick the right key to any person. He joys himself in making others happy. Revels in table talks and all sorts of merriment. All his considerate attention is for his guest. He is capable of understanding other people, admire them, approve of their deeds, and express compassion. He trusts people, is distant from envy taking pleasure in the successes of others. He accurately detects their flaws and makes fun of them, without any intent to insult the person.
4. Traditionalist. He does not seek or like new solutions preferring older, time-tested methods. To solve the most intricate problems it is necessary for him to work alone, he gives too much attention to people and would be distracted if someone is around. When working among others he makes a lot of unnecessary movements, as if to disguise what he is really doing. In this way he draws to work his dual (The Analyst), which does not tolerate a commanding tone. He loves when people trust his word and do not demand for him to substantiate what he is saying. He is not aggressive, but he defends himself very actively. He won't even let his superiors offend him.
The rest isn't really descriptive of her, but I couldn't say she's really not at all like it either.5. Adherent of order. He loves to dress up and takes good care of his appearance. He can't tolerate any disorder or uncertainty in everything from his appearance to his garage and cubbyhole. He does not wish to adapt to the tastes of others. Compliments on his appearance are in vain - he believes he knows better how he looks. He takes not of not just spiritual qualities of his partner, but physical as well.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
Well, not to confuse the topic anymore than it already is. When you said she can't keep a secret and even embellishes, I immediately thought of my ESFj mom.
You really can't tell her anything, you can't even hint at it. Because the next thing you know she's telling all her friends and getting the facts all screwed up and inserting things that you never told her. When I hear back some of the things she has passed on to people as coming from my mouth I gasp. But at this point in my life, I just roll my eyes and think "that's just mom".
She drives me insane but she has such a good heart that you can't help but forgive her. Mom is just kind of in her own little world. She makes a HUGE deal out of the most miniscule things. Like she'll go on for a year because dad bought the wrong size of bananas. My dad is ISTp. He is very patient with her but without her, he'd never socialize with anyone.
She is very good at building things actually and has the most creative ideas for decorating the house. She is great at organizing her schedule so she can be there for everyone. She basically lives to serve people. She was very impulsive when we were growing up. We went on a lot of spur of the moment day trips and she even yanked me out of school before to go see a movie together.
We can't go anywhere without her knowing people. She is very interested in people and their lives. She seems to know an awful lot about everyone. She probably would have made a great gossip columnist. I don't know anyone else who knows as many people as my mother does.
For the most part, everyone loves my mother, including me. However, put us together under the same roof for a prolongued period of time and we drive each other crazy.
I like doing things myself and she likes doing things for me. So its this constant struggle of me trying to get her to stop "helping". I usually end up hurting her feelings and there is a big drama.
She uses guilt a lot to get her own way. I get those stereotypical mom voicemals saying "hello, this is your mother, you remember me don't you? Please call.". If she is feeling lonely, I'll get the, "you never visit" even though I was there the week before.
She isn't like this with most people though. In particular with me because I've always been the most independent daughter and things have always been a bit of a struggle between her and I at times.
I do love her to pieces though. Considering everything, she was a great mom (she sent me home with a care package and cake yesterday weeee!!!).
Polly
ENTP
OMG Polly that is HER !!!!
She is JUST LIKE your mom! Everywhere we go she knows people - EVERYWHERE. And she knows everyone's business!
Yes she is just like everything you said.
This now makes me think ESFj in a big way.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
I knew it. :wink:
Binary or dichotomous systems, although regulated by a principle, are among the most artificial arrangements that have ever been invented. -- William Swainson, A Treatise on the Geography and Classification of Animals (1835)
I was just looking at the intertype relations stuff and its too funny...she DEFINATELY supervises my ISTp father. She is far too hard on him at times. I think he's just learned to block her out after all these years. He is very protective of her though but its like she doesn't see it.
Out of everyone in the family, my ENFj (compartive) sister is probably the closest with her. My ESTp (Benefactor)sister is close but it looks more like a dutiful relationship. With me, ENTp (Activity), I love her in doses.
Polly
ENTP