My type?

[Lee]

Hi, I followed Pedro the Lion here and was wondering if you could help.

Okay, here is some stuff I wrote that might help shed light on my type, one of which was written when I was feeling quite down.

My logical reasoning is not something I think about very often, I am aware when I or others are being illogical yet I often find it difficult to pinpoint exactly why. Sometimes i'll hear a theory and intuitively know it is illogical, I then spend the next hour trying to figure out consciously what I already know unconsciously... I think my two strongest functions are Ti and Ni, I am unaware how this is supposed to work in socionics or MBTI or whatever but those two functions seem to describe my thinking quite well.

I often have difficulty in expressing my logical reasoning in words, I am forever struggling with language and how to get my ideas into a coherant logical package... I usually do not succeed very well.

I might be insane , or at least seriously unhinged. Sometimes the world just seems so screwed and my perception of it goes wonky... this especially occurs when I am tired, which is most of the time since I cannot sleep and have a job that requires I be up and alert in the morning... I usually manage the "up" part, the alert part is a slightly different matter. Anyway I behave in a slightly stoned manner when sleep deprived so people assume I must have some drug habit, truth be told I do not have any habits other than caffiene, bouts of existential depression and biting my nails.

Sometimes I think I am NF and NT, it all seems screwed in my head, one minute I am being cold, logical and blunt, disregarding feelings, morals etc. and just explaining what I believe ot be the cold harsh truth. The next moment I become all emotional, dreaming up all these romantic notions, listening to chesy love music and I have some really strange compulsions to be nice to people and "do right"... even though I am very nihilistic deep down and morally relative.

Before long I slip into a strange depression like earlier today, my feelings begin fighting for thier voice to be heard, my ego shouts out it's brilliance but the impartial cold thinking argues back and wins, explaining my feelings, acknowledging them before dissecting them and difffusing them of thier power... it's leaves me motionless and devoid of all motivation... then it passes and won't return for a week or two... the fact that I know this just bothers me more.

I do not feel like I am in control of my own thoughts, it's like my consciouness is just tagging along for the ride.