Introverts, what do you see in extroverts?

[dattebayo]

I have always been drawn to introverts. Assuming that the opposite is true, what do you introvert guys like in extraverts? I just don't see it

this goes out to all introverts, not just the cool ass delta ones

[jessica129]

Everything. Someone to motivate me, get me excited, initiate things, bring me out of my shell...need I go on? Hard for me to see how you couldn't be attracted to someone like that but I guess we're all different.

[UDP]

IEEs are uber sweet people-people who need realistic protection and someone to be more conservative (in terms of energy/time) and practical minded -- they need you!

[dattebayo]

Everything. Someone to motivate me, get me excited, initiate things, bring me out of my shell...need I go on? Hard for me to see how you couldn't be attracted to someone like that but I guess we're all different.

I guess that might be the appeal, but I still don't really see it. heh I mean, I can go into SPECIFICS when it comes to describing what in introverts that attract me Seriously I could go on and on. Litteraly

IEEs are uber sweet people-people who need realistic protection and someone to be more conservative (in terms of energy/time) and practical minded -- they need you!

YES! qft When it comes to what the IEE likes it all about Si though

[Suz]

I guess that might be the appeal, but I still don't really see it. heh I mean, I can go into SPECIFICS when it comes to describing what in introverts that attract me Seriously I could go on and on. Litteraly



YES! qft When it comes to what the IEE likes it all about Si though

I like Te a lot too.

[Cyrano]

Everything. Someone to motivate me, get me excited, initiate things, bring me out of my shell...need I go on? Hard for me to see how you couldn't be attracted to someone like that but I guess we're all different.

I agree! God bless 'em. Wish I could do that.

[DirectorAbbie]

Everything. Someone to motivate me, get me excited, initiate things, bring me out of my shell...need I go on? Hard for me to see how you couldn't be attracted to someone like that but I guess we're all different.

Introverts aren't pushy, being insecure is endearing, you're more likely to wait for me to finish talking before talking, I'm more likely to listen to you because you don't talk just for the sake of talking...I like introverts.

[Galen]

Introverts aren't pushy, being insecure is endearing, you're more likely to wait for me to finish talking before talking, I'm more likely to listen to you because you don't talk just for the sake of talking...I like introverts.

I'd be careful about conflating introversion with insecurity. Extroverts can be insecure about things too

[DirectorAbbie]

I'd be careful about conflating introversion with insecurity. Extroverts can be insecure about things too

I didn't say introverts were insecure. Please ignore my incinuations.

[Brilliand]

I didn't say introverts were insecure. Please ignore my incinuations.

"Insinuations"...

(It's related to "sinew" not "incinerate.")

[Lobo]

The one thing that comes to mind if we're talking about all extraverts is energy level. I like people who are very energetic, but I do go more towards more controlled energy (Ej ?).

[UDP]

The one thing that comes to mind if we're talking about all extraverts is energy level. I like people who are very energetic, but I do go more towards more controlled energy (Ej ?).

Rational energy.
As opposed to all over the place irrational EPs, with Se bumping into things and Ne going all over the place.

[Creepy-male]

Se bumping into things

[Danielle]

They initiate, and make me more comfortable initiating as well. They do things, and I like to do things with people but I am never the one to put it together. IEEs in particular often say the things I think and feel but would never articulate, and that makes me feel very comfortable.

[Lobo]

They initiate, and make me more comfortable initiating as well. They do things, and I like to do things with people but I am never the one to put it together. IEEs in particular often say the things I think and feel but would never articulate, and that makes me feel very comfortable.

It's odd, but somewhere along the line I did an almost 180 degree shift in this regard. I used to be very shy, and would never really express how I felt about things, wasn't really affectionate with anybody, not even my family. I blame this on insecurities I had, and it was like I felt trapped, thinking that this is not me. I just wasn't comfortable saying the things that I was feeling and thinking about because I didn't "sense" it in my environment. It's like the things in my head weren't "normal," when really it's just that I tend to look for deeper meanings to things. It was like I was going to be imposing something new to my environment/people, was going to stand out, and I didn't like it... I didn't want to come off as weird, which is why I didn't say/do anything. Sometimes having people initiate things, like talk about something deep or ask you to do something, doesn't really help you grow in confidence, because it's like you're feeding off of them in a way. I think that for EIIs the problem is in eliminating the illogical fear of "taking up space," because you might be contributing something that is very important and that might be appreciated. It's having something in your mind and releasing it, without having any validation in the environment that it is going to be accepted, and getting over the fear of imposing something "out there," that will definitely cause a reaction, be it good or bad to the other people. This has always been my inner demon, and the more I make it a point to initiate and simply "express," the better I feel.

I remember that when I was kid I used to think about death for example, and I never talked about it with my parents or friends, because I thought that it was going to depress them. I've never liked to affect people's moods negatively, without a regard to my own "needs" I guess. This made me mentally stronger, but it trapped me in some kind of mental block. Getting to some kind of point here (), I can simply say that the best thing that someone could do to me, even though it's not an easy path, is to help me reach my goal of extroverting my "inner world," and really that's my goal in life. I want to be entirely connected to the things happening around me, have my presence felt, and have control over it. It's a work in progress, but I think I've made substantial improvements from my early days. This is why it repulses me in a way when I read Socionics duality articles in how you just depend completely on the other person for things. I want to grow, I don't want to have someone cover my weaknesses... Sure, I'd be comfortable, but I bet I'd be happier in developing my strengths and weaknesses.

[dattebayo]

They initiate, and make me more comfortable initiating as well. They do things, and I like to do things with people but I am never the one to put it together. IEEs in particular often say the things I think and feel but would never articulate, and that makes me feel very comfortable.

this and the other stuff mentioned so far, to me, just doesn't sound as that much It's not like I'm trivializing whats been said, its prolly the other way around. But you guys don't seem to ask for much. I guess other extraverts will agree with me on this. LOL you make attracting you guys seem like a walk in the park I mean, all the extravert has to do is what they normally would do... AHH EUREKA MOMENT

On a second thought, thinking about it I'm not sure this holds in the real world? It can't be as simple as that? or can it

Another question. Are you mostly attracted to extraverts or are you equally attracted to introverts?

[jessica129]

I find myself very attracted to introverts but in the long run, it never works for me. When you're as solitary as I, you really can sit back and breathe a sign of relief when the spotlight isn't on you and you can just be yourself. I'd be curious as to why extroverts are attracted to introverts.

[jewels]

I find myself very attracted to introverts but in the long run, it never works for me. When you're as solitary as I, you really can sit back and breathe a sign of relief when the spotlight isn't on you and you can just be yourself. I'd be curious as to why extroverts are attracted to introverts.

for one thing, introverts are usually really, really good listeners. That matches well with people who enjoy talking on and on. Also, introverts are calming to extroverts scattered energy. Also introverts aren't usually as caught up in being in the spotlight and concerned about how they are appearing and all of the silly drama that goes along with that, so they have energy to do/think more interesting things.

In addition, introverts don't talk as often as extroverts. So when they DO talk it is unusual and makes the extrovert really interested what they are saying. Where as, other extroverts talk constantly so extroverts zone out.

Introverts also think about things more deeply and take that one-on-one time more seriously, where as other extroverts are planning the next party and so you don't feel your relationship is as special.

[Wrong Way Ticket]

for one thing, introverts are usually really, really good listeners. *snip*

Wait, what? Personally I think IEEs are the best listeners out there. Or maybe best conversationalists. Mixture of the two. Yep.

[Cyrano]

Wait, what? Personally I think IEEs are the best listeners out there. Or maybe best conversationalists. Mixture of the two. Yep.

so true.

[jewels]

Wait, what? Personally I think IEEs are the best listeners out there. Or maybe best conversationalists. Mixture of the two. Yep.

Yes,, we are. However, we also talk. A LOT. We listen to other people well, yet...WOW can we ramble!!! Have you seen my long rambly posts? Now just imagine if I didn't have to type that. IEEs HAVE to share our amazing insights about how we realized X and Y and Z because we saw a stray cat which reminded us of when we were going through a harder time and it strengthened us for the experience and now, blah blah blah. And so on.

It doesn't mean we're not good at listening, but we really value being iistened to. Which is one of many things introverts rock at.

[Creepy-male]

It doesn't mean we're not good at listening, but we really value being iistened to. Which is one of many things introverts rock at.

*points*

It's odd, but somewhere along the line I did an almost 180 degree shift in this regard. I used to be very shy, and would never really express how I felt about things, wasn't really affectionate with anybody, not even my family. I blame this on insecurities I had, and it was like I felt trapped, thinking that this is not me. I just wasn't comfortable saying the things that I was feeling and thinking about because I didn't "sense" it in my environment. It's like the things in my head weren't "normal," when really it's just that I tend to look for deeper meanings to things. It was like I was going to be imposing something new to my environment/people, was going to stand out, and I didn't like it... I didn't want to come off as weird, which is why I didn't say/do anything. Sometimes having people initiate things, like talk about something deep or ask you to do something, doesn't really help you grow in confidence, because it's like you're feeding off of them in a way. I think that for EIIs the problem is in eliminating the illogical fear of "taking up space," because you might be contributing something that is very important and that might be appreciated. It's having something in your mind and releasing it, without having any validation in the environment that it is going to be accepted, and getting over the fear of imposing something "out there," that will definitely cause a reaction, be it good or bad to the other people. This has always been my inner demon, and the more I make it a point to initiate and simply "express," the better I feel.

I remember that when I was kid I used to think about death for example, and I never talked about it with my parents or friends, because I thought that it was going to depress them. I've never liked to affect people's moods negatively, without a regard to my own "needs" I guess. This made me mentally stronger, but it trapped me in some kind of mental block. Getting to some kind of point here (), I can simply say that the best thing that someone could do to me, even though it's not an easy path, is to help me reach my goal of extroverting my "inner world," and really that's my goal in life. I want to be entirely connected to the things happening around me, have my presence felt, and have control over it. It's a work in progress, but I think I've made substantial improvements from my early days. This is why it repulses me in a way when I read Socionics duality articles in how you just depend completely on the other person for things. I want to grow, I don't want to have someone cover my weaknesses... Sure, I'd be comfortable, but I bet I'd be happier in developing my strengths and weaknesses.

EIIs can ramble too. I suppose it takes an extravert to push in and get them to actually put their thoughts out there too.

[dattebayo]

I find myself very attracted to introverts but in the long run, it never works for me. When you're as solitary as I, you really can sit back and breathe a sign of relief when the spotlight isn't on you and you can just be yourself. I'd be curious as to why extroverts are attracted to introverts.

i must have missed this

It's interesting that you are attracted by introverts. Danielle mentioned something similar. Know what, I was gonna answer it here, but I'll start another thread heh

[jessica129]

Wow sereno that could have basically been written about me..word for word...I never thought anyone else felt that way.

[dattebayo]

I really like how this convo has turned out
This is something I find really interesting

it was like I felt trapped, thinking that this is not me. I just wasn't comfortable saying the things that I was feeling and thinking about because I didn't "sense" it in my environment. It's like the things in my head weren't "normal," when really it's just that I tend to look for deeper meanings to things. It was like I was going to be imposing something new to my environment/people, was going to stand out, and I didn't like it... I didn't want to come off as weird, which is why I didn't say/do anything.

And then this

the problem is in eliminating the illogical fear of "taking up space," because you might be contributing something that is very important and that might be appreciated. It's having something in your mind and releasing it, without having any validation in the environment that it is going to be accepted, and getting over the fear of imposing something "out there," that will definitely cause a reaction, be it good or bad to the other people

The funny thing is, I actually feel like you Sereno 49% of the time, believe it or not heh. Especially the thing with not taking up space. But then the last 51% just thinks, to h*** with it. It’s more important to just get whatever goes on inside out.
I actually don’t mind standing out and making a fool of myself, though. This may be another reason why I just blurt out whatever is on top of my head.
But I also believe that the more angels you can get on any subject the better. I mean peoples viewpoints and experience, isn’t that what it is all about. To me there is no such thing as a stupid input. I bet lots of ppl here disagree and think of me as a total airhead, but to me all input is potentially valuable. It’s not the articulation that matters to me either, but the contents. And even the most simple input can give a unexpected angle to help shed light on a topic
I had another thing I wanted to post, but sort of got lost. Oh this

Wow sereno that could have basically been written about me..word for word...I never thought anyone else felt that way.

This is an excellent example why speaking your mind is always good.
To be totally corny, sharing makes ppl come closer and feel less lonely ha ha

Another funny thing is I actually always nod a lot when I read your posts. I like to think that I’m like an EII on the inside, but no one knows cuz it just doesn’t show
Also I feel that you put a lot of thought into your posts, which is something I really appreciate, as my own attention span is 2 sec at the max, so it feels that what you are saying is more thought through. I tend to comment as I read other ppls posts, without any kind of filter

[The Exception]

I think its amusing how there are so many more responses to this this thread than to the reverse (what extraverts see in introverts).

[UDP]

I think its amusing how there are so many more responses to this this thread than to the reverse (what extraverts see in introverts).

Even though this thread is two days older than the other thread?