My best example of everything above comes down to this SiTe and I's interactions a couple months ago. He was the one I started a thread on that he approached me with coffee and then disappeared, before coming back and I invited him to sit and talk with me. I felt like every time the relationship would change, it would be him initiating the change, and then me actually changing it. So, he was the one who asked me if I'd like to go out to dinner or a bar with him, and then I was the one who made sure it happened. He asked for my number, but I monopolized the use of having his. He invited me over his place, and ever since, I'd call randomly to drop by. It was like I was the energy of the relationship and he was the wire, it went where and when he wanted to, to my joy/dismay. The entire time I knew we were extremely compatible, and I wanted to take it further, or at least tell him I liked him so he could think on it and eventually react. Admittedly, I wanted to get physical as well, and I wanted to see if I could add that aspect to the relationship, it seemed like the next step anywho. But there were many times I hesitated and chickened out on saying anything, but I just had NO idea how he'd react. I knew he was attracted to me, but I was still weary for some reason. Eventually one night, he said he wanted to take me to a bar, and feeling like that was a good sign, I told him I liked him. He said he liked me too, but had just gotten involved with someone else... And yeah, let's not get into that
So the relationship was passively controlled by him, even though I was the one most likely wanting to move it somewhere.
Sorry for the ramble
But it's possible that we feel like we're doing something but it's not apparent at all... It's the mental process we go through and don't reveal. If this is true, I'm not really sure what would be the best balance... It might just be a lot of unnecessary anxieties. But really, once I establish a way of communicating with someone and I "trust" they are receiving what I'm saying clearly and don't get bothered by it, I'm completely open. But you can't really ask 20 questions to someone you're interested in to see what of your behaviors they do or do not mind. But I'll cut it short here, I'm so bad at writing posts in any organized manner at all lol