IEIs/INFps: imagination, aloofness, and being dreamy

[IEI]

I relate to every word of the second paragraph also. I always feel very unnatural in a setting like that and am overly sensitive to what others may be thinking of me. Very self-conscious. I live in so much internal anxiety, mentally trying to talk myself into participating, but making such a big deal out of it to myself that I freeze up even more. And then I feel more and more unable to do anything about it as time passes and I am convinced (justifiably or not), that everyone else is as accutely aware of my ineptitude as me. To me, it's like taking a snail out of its shell and telling it "now you must go and live out in the open and have no fear". How is the snail supposed to live carelessly after having been removed from its natural habitat and not feel exposed?! I feel exposed.

Recently I have discovered if I am doing something in meeting such as tapping my foot, playing with a pen or tapping my fingers on the desk I am MUCH more confident. I think it distracts my mind from looking inside to check if I'm feeling confident and coming back with a resounding "no of course your not!" . Only tried it a couple of times so not sure if it's a permanent fix will test it out in a few more meetings

[Satan]

Recently I have discovered if I am doing something in meeting such as tapping my foot, playing with a pen or tapping my fingers on the desk I am MUCH more confident. I think it distracts my mind from looking inside to check if I'm feeling confident and coming back with a resounding "no of course your not!" . Only tried it a couple of times so not sure if it's a permanent fix will test it out in a few more meetings

curious with some people i kind of tap a bit.

but then i sometimes stomp, or raise my voice, or kind force more energy to my hand sometimes.

but really i don't have to move to be confident really. it's more to get someone else's attention.

anyway, generally speaking when it's harder is when one isn't in the conversation group. like if you look at each person in the eyes a little bit, bar one person, that one person will find it harder to engage. and when they do they're more likely to feel liek they won't be well received. so they're less likely to be well received.

in that kind of case, doing some kind of change or motion to shift focus onto you before speaking, and creating your own opening can mean that you'll be more confident that you'll be well received as you present your opinion.

Also with confidence you may want to being "confident enough" or, "confident" rather than questioning whether you are confident, or are lacking in areas. Decide instead that you're confident, and just assume that other's aren't necessarily confident, and "help" them be more confident, by presenting things in ways that they can understand or relate to.

[IEI]

I sometimes stomp, or raise my voice, or kind force more energy to my hand sometimes.

lol I would love to be able to stomp it sounds like fun. You're spot on with describing the difficulty of engaging in a conversation once it's started if you're left on the sidelines. I hate trying to get included as I always get the feeling people are thinking "oh you're going to say something now" and generally I interrupt the flow of the conversation. Some really good tips here thanks for posting I will give them a try.

[misutii]

I keep making plans to look forward to (and good ones too I might add) and then figure out ways to extricate myself from these plans because I have more pressing matters to deal with, in the sense of working (metaphorically) on an awesome new plan