... you know, a rape does not happen like "woops, he just turned around and raped me even if I said no, and it all happened so fast, just in a second, and I couldn't even think before it was over"...
I promise you people would KNOW if I did not want to be "raped".
Also, a rapist won't care what you say, or whatever game you "play". You can say "no" and mean it or "no" and not mean it, and they'll still rape you if they can. It's not as if "no" means anything to them anyways.
When you involve yourself with another person, you risk getting killed, too. A crazy person is bad luck, and you can prevent it as far as possible by not being naive about who you let close or who you chose to play with. Still shit happens. In a normal relationship, with a normal person, you can say "stop" at any stage, and people will respect it and withdraw. Normal people do not find it hot to force others sexually.
You notice pretty fast if someone means things or not. Example - had Sirena not wanted the kiss, she would have pulled away when her boyfriend started to kiss her, and he would have pulled away, too. Words are not the only way to communicate.
If someone rapes you, then it's rape, regardless of what games you have played earlier. And people know the difference, unless they are crazy, and then games and words don't matter.
If he doesn't get that your "no" means "maybe", then he should interpret the "no" as a "no". If he gets the game, he can play. I can't see how this is unfair? It's like saying that it's unfair to find someone while playing hide and seek.
Either you see, or you don't. If you don't, then you hear "no". If you do, you can test the next step. And if you misunderstood the game, you'll know it immediately by the reactions of the other person.
Simple rules.
This was not an unknown person to Sirena....
And who cares about LAWS in this? Rapists don't. Laws won't prevent bad things from happening, unfortunately.
... I doubt Sirena wants just ANY guy to kiss her like that?
= This was a private game...
Assholes will always find an "excuse", yes.
Exactly. It's not a very hidden game.
Here you blame girls for being raped.
I agree we are all responsible for ourselves, though. But I can't understand how you think Sirena put herself in a bad situation? Would it change anything if she had said "yes"? Or could that not be equally "inviting" if the guy was a rapist? Should women always say "no"?
I ask these questions to show you people won't be confused about a victim-aggressor game. It's an erotic style, not a "wrong way of being".
You shouldn't live, actually, cause you might die young... :wink:
I don't disagree with everything you say, of course we have to take care of ourselves, nobody else will. But you don't get the victim-aggressor game at all, and you seem to try and tell it makes people rapists and rape victims. It's not true. Also, remember that victim-aggressor games go two ways. It's not always the woman being "chased".
Look at me: I never drink and drive. I never rape anyone. But I have kissed men saying no. I have done more to men saying no, too. I knew they didn't mean it, and I was right. Does that mean they would be to blame or deserve it if I had hurt them? Did they do anything wrong by not meaning their "no"s? I tell you, they secretely hoped for more, but pretended to be "decent". Had I been wrong about that, I would have noticed while undressing them.
If anything, me pushing on despite their "no's" only placed more responsibility on ME, and not on the person with the "fake no's".
It's an erotic game, turning people on. Not a rape invitation. I don't expect you to get it, but I felt like explaining.