I have a good friend (IEI also) with an SLE son. he's very cute--totally charming and much the way you describe your son! I don't think it's very fair of the relatives to allow one without the other, wow. Basically, he is who he is and should be loved by them for who he is! Maybe there are some tips you could give them on how to handle him the way YOU do, since he gets along so well with you. Maybe he would do better in a physical environment such as a playground where he can burn off lots of energy and then be more likely to go along with what others want for the rest of the day. And probably lay off the sugar also. I dunno, I'm sure you've already thought of that!