Your stories and experiences with SLE/ESTp kids

[redbaron]

I have a good friend (IEI also) with an SLE son. he's very cute--totally charming and much the way you describe your son! I don't think it's very fair of the relatives to allow one without the other, wow. Basically, he is who he is and should be loved by them for who he is! Maybe there are some tips you could give them on how to handle him the way YOU do, since he gets along so well with you. Maybe he would do better in a physical environment such as a playground where he can burn off lots of energy and then be more likely to go along with what others want for the rest of the day. And probably lay off the sugar also. I dunno, I'm sure you've already thought of that!

[Slacker]

I don't know what to do about your son, but I think it would be reasonable to tell your close relatives that you don't want your son to feel like your daughter is the favorite so they either have to have both visit or neither.

[Slacker]

Of course I told them!!!! Immediately.

(They used a (really lame) excuse, of course, but still, I got furious, and answered just as you suggest. The worst thing is that they told it so my son heard it, and that really made me angry. Only because he's small, does not mean he can't hear. )

Aw, the poor kid. People don't realize that THIS is where behavior problems come from - when kids are treated like this. He just needs to be treated like he's the special little guy he is. Give him a hug for me!

[Jarno]

Why not take him to boxing lessons, he'll get rid of his agression and you might get a new world heavy weight champion in your family, he'll make lot's of money, though loses all again by law suits of the women he rapes, but you get to keep his two tiger pets!

[1981slater]

A good way of making lively people take things easy is making them joining a soccer team or something like that. If he lets all his energy go out when training he will be less unpredictable when the training is over, mainly because he'll be tired.

Anyway, I think only kids aged 6 onwards are allowed to join sports teams so...give him a ball and let him play in your garden!

[misutii]

A good way of making lively people take things easy is making them joining a soccer team or something like that. If he lets all his energy go out when training he will be less unpredictable when the training is over, mainly because he'll be tired.

Anyway, I think only kids aged 6 onwards are allowed to join sports teams so...give him a ball and let him play in your garden!

I think an even better option is martial arts. I know an SLE that took martial arts and I've never seen him lose his temper. Martial arts teaches discipline, respect, and most importantly teaches people how to remain mentally calm (and be less negatively reactive)in stressful situations.

[mikemex]

@Mimosa:

You're the one who is wrong, not your son. The way he treats you is irrelevant; what matters is the way he treats others. And if he does unpleasant things to others, why is it so strange that they don't want him around?

It is obvious to me that you disregard the rights of others on this matter. You want everyone to handle him the same way you do: as a parent who forgives everything. But I'll tell you about the situation plain and straight: the world doesn't look at your son the same way you do and you have to accept it. For you he might be the most important person in the world; for others he's just one of millions. That he's liked or not will depend entirely on how he treats others.

The police has seen such scenes too many times. They raid a house to apprehend a criminal, only for the mother to come out and shout that her son is the sweetest person in the world, incapable of doing any wrong. But the mother usually ignores that her "little angel" actually killed someone in cold blood. (of course, this is only to illustrate my point, I'm not suggesting your son will become a criminal or anything).

Learn to be impartial and just yourself and your son will learn it from you. Keep treating your son with unconditional indulgence and he will grow to believe he can do anything he wishes.

[Brilliand]

What's his dad's type? He probably needs an ego to teach him his place - that he can't pick a fight with anything and everything. The way you treat him is great for letting him be himself, but he also needs a superior to show him his limits.

ETA: Getting into boxing/martial arts just might do the trick, especially if the coach is an SLE!

[07490]

@Mimosa:

You're the one who is wrong, not your son. The way he treats you is irrelevant; what matters is the way he treats others. And if he does unpleasant things to others, why is it so strange that they don't want him around?

It is obvious to me that you disregard the rights of others on this matter. You want everyone to handle him the same way you do: as a parent who forgives everything. But I'll tell you about the situation plain and straight: the world doesn't look at your son the same way you do and you have to accept it. For you he might be the most important person in the world; for others he's just one of millions. That he's liked or not will depend entirely on how he treats others.

The police has seen such scenes too many times. They raid a house to apprehend a criminal, only for the mother to come out and shout that her son is the sweetest person in the world, incapable of doing any wrong. But the mother usually ignores that her "little angel" actually killed someone in cold blood. (of course, this is only to illustrate my point, I'm not suggesting your son will become a criminal or anything).

Learn to be impartial and just yourself and your son will learn it from you. Keep treating your son with unconditional indulgence and he will grow to believe he can do anything he wishes.

It is really also not your relatives fault for not inviting him over. Your relative is obivously welcoming your other daughter to their house, which means that they accept your family, but becuase of your son's behavior, he is not willingly being accepted. It is really their house afterall, you can't be mad at them for not inviting your son especially since it is a fact that they are welcoming one, but not the other, pointing out to you that they want that behavior to stop at their house. I think it is a pretty reasonable and logical thing they point to you that one is and one is not without showing disrespect to completely telling yout everyone in your household is not accepted.

[Wittmont]

@Mimosa:

You're the one who is wrong, not your son. The way he treats you is irrelevant; what matters is the way he treats others. And if he does unpleasant things to others, why is it so strange that they don't want him around?

It is obvious to me that you disregard the rights of others on this matter. You want everyone to handle him the same way you do: as a parent who forgives everything. But I'll tell you about the situation plain and straight: the world doesn't look at your son the same way you do and you have to accept it. For you he might be the most important person in the world; for others he's just one of millions. That he's liked or not will depend entirely on how he treats others.

The police has seen such scenes too many times. They raid a house to apprehend a criminal, only for the mother to come out and shout that her son is the sweetest person in the world, incapable of doing any wrong. But the mother usually ignores that her "little angel" actually killed someone in cold blood. (of course, this is only to illustrate my point, I'm not suggesting your son will become a criminal or anything).

Learn to be impartial and just yourself and your son will learn it from you. Keep treating your son with unconditional indulgence and he will grow to believe he can do anything he wishes.

Wow, what a nice lecture!

I've met the little boy and I have no problems with him at all. He IS a sweet fun loving kid... And Mimosa is hardly "unconditionally indulgent", whatever gave you that idea? I'd say she is very good at setting limits for her kids and she is very clear what is allowed and what isn't. I'd say the problem is more that other grownups are not as clear or even hypocritical in their actions...