ISTjs and ESTps giving relationship advice

[Ezra]

To be honest, I don't think we're actually that bad at it. Just because we have weak and hence can't interpret well the bonds between people doesn't mean we can't give good advice about what one should do.

Rather than give situational advice like "well, he's clearly attracted to you, so I think it would be best if you tell him what you make of him", which would require a confidence in , we can a hypothetical situation on the basis of "well, if x is the case, do y, but if q is the case, then do p". This way, we are making no judgements about bonds between different individuals, but are simply giving different methods to follow. Obviously there's a bit of in there to compensate for (following a method: x → y), but basically, we're not entirely helpless when it comes to these situations. Also, we can talk about different values, such as honesty, without the need for . Suggesting that someone be honest with their partner requires little or no skill concerning actual relations.

What do you guys reckon?

[JuJu]

As much as I like you beta STs, I don't think you're very good at relationships (in my experience at least.)

Primarily it has to do with thinking/feeling in black & white rather than shades of grey.

Don't get me wrong, this trait of yours helps me... However, it can sometimes feel like being in a relationship with a wild beast... And I've seen it put off your friends again and again.

[Creepy-male]

I think there's a difference between "blunt" and "insightful".

But ok, I'm weird and Judicial like that.

[FDG]

No, no, bad idea Ezra. I usually get along with Beta STs quite well; the time I distinctly remember distancing myself from them, is when they try to tell me how I should handle my relationships, what I should or should not talk about with my gilrfriend, etc etc. It's not that they do it forcefully or with bad intent, it's just that their advice is always kind of...destructive, from my perspective?

[Satan]

No, no, bad idea Ezra. I usually get along with Beta STs quite well; the time I distinctly remember distancing myself from them, is when they try to tell me how I should handle my relationships, what I should or should not talk about with my gilrfriend, etc etc. It's not that they do it forcefully or with bad intent, it's just that their advice is always kind of...destructive, from my perspective?

Tie her up and rape her.

[FDG]

Tie her up and rape her.

Now that's not bad advice.

[07490]

No, no, bad idea Ezra. I usually get along with Beta STs quite well; the time I distinctly remember distancing myself from them, is when they try to tell me how I should handle my relationships, what I should or should not talk about with my gilrfriend, etc etc. It's not that they do it forcefully or with bad intent, it's just that their advice is always kind of...destructive, from my perspective?

Was it from ESTp or ISTj? I think they shared a bit of different perspective in relationship.

[betterthan]

No, I don't think they are bad. You gave me good advice before Ezra .
I like asking STs for advice, I don't ask people for advice often but when I do, they are who I ask.
You're confident and decisive, and I am the opposite, I know what to do in my head when it comes down to it, but I just like to ask STs for reassurance that what I am thinking of doing is the right thing to do, if I didn't ask for their advice I'd never get anything done, I'd just sit around contemplating and analyzing and freaking myself out.
Though this may be because I only ever ask beta STs on advice concerning other beta STs lol.

[misutii]

No, no, bad idea Ezra. I usually get along with Beta STs quite well; the time I distinctly remember distancing myself from them, is when they try to tell me how I should handle my relationships, what I should or should not talk about with my gilrfriend, etc etc. It's not that they do it forcefully or with bad intent, it's just that their advice is always kind of...destructive, from my perspective?

Same. I suppose if an ESTp was in a healthy, loving relationship then it might be possible that they could offer okay advice once in a while... with the help of their significant other... but really how often does that occur? ESTps, in general, should receive a swift kick to the bottom every time they unselfishly decide to take up the responsibility of offering relationship advice.

[Simon Ssmall]

Dunno, never heard ESTp's giving any advice on relationships. ISTj's I know ask me for advices, they need calming from time to time and guidance to not misinterpret what another person is doing/feeling (especially for the one which dates an ISTp as she always tries to interpret something of what he says)

That's what people I encountered are like.

[Satan]

Same. I suppose if an ESTp was in a healthy, loving relationship then it might be possible that they could offer okay advice once in a while... with the help of their significant other... but really how often does that occur? ESTps, in general, should receive a swift kick to the bottom every time they unselfishly decide to take up the responsibility of offering relationship advice.

In the real world, how many people are in healthy lovign relationships.

Adn how many just say thhey are, becaues they don't want other people to think that their relationship is going bad.

[Satan]

I don't think I've ever witnessed a Beta-ST giving the sort of thing that most people think of when they hear "relationship advice." IME, their suggestions are no more than one sentence: "Take her to the lake." <- is about as much "advice" as I've gotten out of an SLE.

Throw her in.

[redbaron]

I don't think I've ever witnessed a Beta-ST giving the sort of thing that most people think of when they hear "relationship advice." IME, their suggestions are no more than one sentence: "Take her to the lake." <- is about as much "advice" as I've gotten out of an SLE.

this whole thread makes me laugh but I liked this: "take her to the lake". That's exactly the type of thing I've heard from the SLE I know. not that I really ask him for advice but he will often throw out these really concise one-liners that totally crack me up regarding this or that. I love it because it takes me out of my pondering over-thinking and even though it may not be actually helpful in the least, it makes me laugh and realize that I'm obsessing too much.

[redbaron]

bumping this one too because it makes me laugh...

[Ezra]

bumping this one too because it makes me laugh...

Also lol @ this thread

[betterthan]

Lol. I lied.

[Ezra]

Lol. I lied.

lmao @ this