Quote Originally Posted by unefille View Post
Actually, if I took the past summer as an example, I think the effects of dualisation are clear. I spent it on vacation (for about 3 months) overseas without either idolatrie or my father. The previous year I spent about 3 months overseas away from home, but with idolatrie. If you compare the two experiences, it's pretty clear that the LSI provides stability, calm and grounding to the EIE.
crazy.

Unlike last summer, when idolatrie and I had a lovely vacation together, having fun in an orderly, well-planned and rather productive/sober way (we had goals, we had early mornings and regular hours, we had a list of destinations and daily itineraries), I spent this vacation: sleeping in until 2
sounds boring

hours before I needed to go out, going out all the time, spending most of my nights in clubs/at parties/cabbing from one place to another, drifting from one hedonistic high to another, basically, completely unanchored. I had no routine, my emotional mood swings got pretty extreme at points and I just felt I couldn't come to a resting point at all, was swinging around like a pendulum in a storm.
that sounds mor like me

I think the way it works is that I get really bored easily and I something that I can pour out my emotional energy at/into. Without my dual, I have all this excess to get rid of, almost, and so, in short, I go a little crazy/wild. On the
heh.

other hand, when I am with my dual, I'm much more content to just stay at home and basically throw all my emotional energy at them, after which, I am nice and calm and they go from robot to human (I'm just joking...right?)
humans are good.

And they keep their lives so structured and 'on-track' that it's so easy just to fall back on their structures when my own flimsy self-imposed ones collapse, as they routinely and inevitably do, giving way to my moods/whimsies etc.
haha

I think the fact that my dad was LSI gave me a sense of stability when I was growing up and kept me from going as off-track as I have otherwise. I don't have stories about wild nights and emotional meltdowns (well, I do, but they could have been SO MUCH WORSE, you know? Because I can totally be that crazy bitch who starts setting things on fire and breaking glasses in the middle of an emotional 'moment' whilst in a public place, like a nightclub, after drinking like a fish and smoking like a chimney to try and drown out the voices inside, especially during the more hormonal days of being a teenager), but I'm more emotionally healthy, mature and intact. And SANE. So, it's a pretty good trade-off, I think.
have you done stimulants before?