crazy.
sounds boringUnlike last summer, when idolatrie and I had a lovely vacation together, having fun in an orderly, well-planned and rather productive/sober way (we had goals, we had early mornings and regular hours, we had a list of destinations and daily itineraries), I spent this vacation: sleeping in until 2
that sounds mor like mehours before I needed to go out, going out all the time, spending most of my nights in clubs/at parties/cabbing from one place to another, drifting from one hedonistic high to another, basically, completely unanchored. I had no routine, my emotional mood swings got pretty extreme at points and I just felt I couldn't come to a resting point at all, was swinging around like a pendulum in a storm.
heh.I think the way it works is that I get really bored easily and I something that I can pour out my emotional energy at/into. Without my dual, I have all this excess to get rid of, almost, and so, in short, I go a little crazy/wild. On the
humans are good.other hand, when I am with my dual, I'm much more content to just stay at home and basically throw all my emotional energy at them, after which, I am nice and calm and they go from robot to human (I'm just joking...right?)
hahaAnd they keep their lives so structured and 'on-track' that it's so easy just to fall back on their structures when my own flimsy self-imposed ones collapse, as they routinely and inevitably do, giving way to my moods/whimsies etc.
have you done stimulants before?I think the fact that my dad was LSI gave me a sense of stability when I was growing up and kept me from going as off-track as I have otherwise. I don't have stories about wild nights and emotional meltdowns (well, I do, but they could have been SO MUCH WORSE, you know? Because I can totally be that crazy bitch who starts setting things on fire and breaking glasses in the middle of an emotional 'moment' whilst in a public place, like a nightclub, after drinking like a fish and smoking like a chimney to try and drown out the voices inside, especially during the more hormonal days of being a teenager), but I'm more emotionally healthy, mature and intact. And SANE. So, it's a pretty good trade-off, I think.