ISTp-ENFp duality bad experiences

[jewels]

Wow! I just met a bad ISTp. I usually really like them, but I'm now understanding there is a lot more than type...

This guy complained constantly (in a whiny way). He would interrupt me to say "sorry, my back hurts" and stretch. He also complained of various other things such, everything from the weather to the city, etc. And he let his parents tell him what to do and was late because his parents were dropping something off. This did not come off like a cool "bad boy" but was simply "bad." He seemed somehow spineless and wimpy, and I couldn't understand how any ISTp could be like that Then he seemed to be waiting to see if I'd pay the check. I offered to split and he excitedly took me up on it. My faith in duality is being shaken...maybe other things are more important than socionics?

And he also complained about all the things I like and he seemed like a total stick in the mud. Seemed totally set in his ways too, while also being . How is it possible to be a wimpy ISTp?

[Creepy-male]

I think it's enneatype.

Remember Ephemeral? Yeah.

[Creepy-Cyclops]

Maybe he's depressed or something?

fwiw, I know a female ISTp who's always whining about stuff. She's dating a guy who treats her like shit. Anyway she seems to use me as some sort of sounding board or just a board of some kind to go on about the stuff he does she doesn't like. I asked her one time why if he's such an ass why doesn't she just leave him, and she said, "it's because i'm stupid". I think she's kinda depressed about things and not really come to terms with stuff in her life which could very well be related to her age (she's a couple of years younger than me) and her Fe PoLR.

So I dunno. This guy you're talking about, maybe he's just lame, although if he's hot maybe date him some more and he'll get better hehe

Oh, if I think of some other stuff to say later on, I will. Whether it's useful or not is another thing haha.

[jewels]

hmm, you both have good points.

And he's not "hot" to me because I'm big into the personality....so w/o a good personality I'm just not attracted.

I just thought ISTps were all about being courageous and honest, independent, even bold!! And yet somehow, he had none of that. I'm still asking myself how that is possible. My female ISTp friend has those qualities and she also has strong character/a backbone, etc. She would seriously beat this guy up in a fight lol.

I guess integrity and all that isn't type related, unfortunately...

And he prob was depressed, but in other ISTps that almost attracts me because I want to "help" if I see potential there and help them cheer up, but all the Ne in the world wasn't going to change anything for this one...sigh

Gulazon: what is ephemeral?

Cyclops: useless can be just as interesting as useful!

[Creepy-male]

Ephemeral is an Unknown.

"Maybe a 9 or a 2."

He has an Eightish streak, though, and too standoffish for a Nine.

But anyway, I'm not going to prattle on about him behind his back

[jessica129]

Is this the first date? I was going to say something to the effect of "maybe you just don't know him enough yet" but i'm usually on my best "behavior" on first dates...depressed or not. This guy sounds like a bump on a log. Actually, I think a lot of istp's can come off that way. Are you sure he's SLI? What makes you think he is? Either way, I refuse to surround myself with people who complain nonstop like that. Probobly best you leave that one alone.

[implied]

um i thought most ISTps were "wimps" in the sense of not wanting to control people/be incredibly forceful? what kind of a "tough guy" are you looking for anyhow?

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[duality is cringe]

imo even Max Payne and the Punisher were listening to their parents and were good employees & stuff, they are the "good guys" not bad.

Punisher<3

[mikemex]

Max Payne and the Punisher

SLI??

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[tiny_dancer]

Well...um...yeah. SLIs come in all shapes and sizes. I've known some really great ones and some not-so-great ones.

[jewels]

tiny_dancer "Well...um...yeah. SLIs come in all shapes and sizes. I've known some really great ones and some not-so-great ones."

I think that sums it up! I think I had an unrealistic idea that all ISTps were perfect...and I guess it is just a category...so that would be like me assuming all guys w/ brown hair are awesome! And that's just silly of course.

[jessica129]

I think I met an ENFP. We went out a few times and it was boring as watching paint dry. If you can't romance your dual, does this mean you suck at life?

[Creepy-male]

No, you just suck at using Socionics to improve your natural strengths.

[jewels]

I think I met an ENFP. We went out a few times and it was boring as watching paint dry. If you can't romance your dual, does this mean you suck at life?

yes.

Boring ENFps are also a hideous thing to see. Maybe they are both meant for a non-exciting version of duality. We need descriptions for how these boring relations develop, lol.

[Park]

How is it possible to be a wimpy ISTp?

How is it possible for you to type and judge him after meeting him for the first time? Are you a whiny wimp? I thought ENFps were less shallow and more accepting and considerate people. My faith in duality is being shaken.

Yeah, right...

[tiny_dancer]

Another socionics person from Georgia?!?

Or should I say the outer wasteland that is OTP? lol

Yes, actually I've noticed this sort of interaction with my friend too. I think it's why it took me so long to get to know her. Now I understand that her mood will pick up a bit once we've hung out for a while, so if she's a bit distant at first it doesn't bother me.

[jewels]

yeah I should clarify that usually I LIKE the ISTp thing of being very quiet, serious, stoic, even hard to read and mysterious -- even if they complain a lot, doesn't bother me. Those things in and of themselves aren't bad (they are usually very good actually!)

And yes, I was being my typical ENFp self and talking, asking questions, being entertaining, etc...however, this guy was just lame. I'm not attacking ALL ISTps of course, just one I didn't happen to like. I also disliked his voice. I would have actually not known he was an ISTp if he didn't tell me he was, and I could see it after a while.

It was just hard for me to accept because before that I liked all of the ISTps I'd met, even if I wasn't attracted to them. And I get along great w/ my female ISTp friend (who can be super quiet until you get her on a topic she's super into).

[dattebayo]

I'm with tiny and jewells on this one. ISTp's can be as great as only ENFp's can dream of. But when u run into a bad one, boy is that bad. Trust me. I know both extremes and a few in between

but then again, it's the same with ENFp's... and all other types ppl go figure

[eddikens]

I'm with tiny and jewells on this one. ISTp's can be as great as only ENFp's can dream of. But when u run into a bad one, boy is that bad. Trust me. I know both extremes and a few in between

but then again, it's the same with ENFp's... and all other types ppl go figure

Really? Could you describe your interaction(s) with a "bad" ISTP? I don't know that many – the only time I become aware of them is through some kind of activity (like sports) where people have to interact with one another.

"Bad" enfp's, I know about. It's kind of scary how hyped up and unfocused they can be. I"ve been there ("bad") more than I'd like to admit during certain (stressful) periods of my life. Always seem to bounce back though. Is resiliency part of the enfp psychological makeup . . . or are we just too looney not to know any better?

[Creepy-Pied Piper]

Removed at User Request

[dattebayo]

"Barking dogs never bite" - that's how i see ENFPs. ISTPs are the opposite, they are considered so dangerous because they don't use to threat when angered, but they're not necessarily aggressive by construction.

IEE+SLI = the dog who barks then, if the threat is real, bites. pretty cool

edit: eddikens, this is about what you said, too ^

ha ha it took me some time to get this, but I really think you hit the nail on the head here

eddikens, I'm not in bad mood over my ISTP's today, so I don't feel the negativity
I do however subscribe to the views stated on these sites. They can be very true, on an ISTP's bad day
oh, forgot the links
http://www.socionics.com/advan/prof/istp.htm and http://www.socionics.com/prof/istp2.htm
u prolly already know them, oh and by the way, better late than never, welcome

[eddikens]

Another socionics person from Georgia?!?

Or should I say the outer wasteland that is OTP? lol.

Yup, another peach-state boy. Georgia is rapidly becoming the mecca of Socionics in the western world: Who would have thunk it?