The type most likely to cheat in a relationship

[xyz]

well then obviously it doesn't count.

It's different for everybody.

Pretty much, yet people forget this all the time in every facet of life.

[forgetmenot]

I know it sounds silly but life is not black and white. It's really difficult, it's always your choice but it makes it perfect .

[jewels]

people who cheat are afraid of being alone, or insecure, or don't have ethics. Those aren't type related. I've heard of just about all 16 types cheating, they just do it in different ways.

[strrrng]

everybody says this but keep in mind that if you have an entire life built with someone including kids, friends, infrastructure, that's going to be a lot harder to just dump her/him than the temptation of having something secret on the side. Of course I'm NOT advocating this! It's a horrible idea! Just pointing it out that it's easier said than done, in some situations. (I think you were talking about a more casual boyfriend/girlfriend thing though?)

Yeah. This can even apply with a significant other whom you've built up a solid amount of trust with. There is a context, an emotional connection, etc., and you may be thinking that this desire is just a transient impulse, and that it may be better to try to satiate it quickly than make a huge life change because of it.

Plus, people are always looking to get away with as much as possible. If faced with some dilemma on the relationship, they will most likely abstain from cheating to preserve the relationship.

Which basically goes to show that it was never necessary in the first place, and that people are just looking for ways to give in to their impulses, without causing negative consequences.

People just need to learn what they value.

This thread starts to become philosophical cause if we want to answer some detailed questions we need to know what love is, happiness is, what are the values...
It's different for everybody.

I don't know that it has to be. We don't need metaphysical/objective/etc. definitions of these things to know how they work in real life, and how they feel to us. The means by which people attain happiness, love, etc. may be different, but the feelings themselves are universal; thus we can speak of this topic in reference to those feelings generated, not just the concepts of what those feelings are supposed to be.

[redbaron]

Yeah. This can even apply with a significant other whom you've built up a solid amount of trust with. There is a context, an emotional connection, etc., and you may be thinking that this desire is just a transient impulse, and that it may be better to try to satiate it quickly than make a huge life change because of it.

Plus, people are always looking to get away with as much as possible. If faced with some dilemma on the relationship, they will most likely abstain from cheating to preserve the relationship.

Which basically goes to show that it was never necessary in the first place, and that people are just looking for ways to give in to their impulses, without causing negative consequences.

People just need to learn what they value.

exactly. well-put.

[Lotus]

Yeah. This can even apply with a significant other whom you've built up a solid amount of trust with. There is a context, an emotional connection, etc., and you may be thinking that this desire is just a transient impulse, and that it may be better to try to satiate it quickly than make a huge life change because of it.

But for whose benefit is that?

[strrrng]

exactly. well-put.

Thanks.

But for whose benefit is that?

I wasn't thinking about benefit. I said that to illustrate redbaron's point better—that sometimes people feel that cheating is more convenient than dumping, because of the context, trust, etc. that they've built up in the relationship. But my overall point was to say that such an impulse is pointless anyway, and that people need to learn what they value.

[Lotus]

I wasn't thinking about benefit. I said that to illustrate redbaron's point better—that sometimes people feel that cheating is more convenient than dumping, because of the context, trust, etc. that they've built up in the relationship. But my overall point was to say that such an impulse is pointless anyway, and that people need to learn what they value.

Oh, I thought you were saying that as your own opinion. Never mind.

[calenwen]

I've noticed that some types are more likely to cheat in relationships than other. I know two ESFj girls who cheat on their boyfriends (although they say they love them very much). Is it because of Si? Which function makes it easy to cheat?

Honestly, it kind of bugs me when people try to attribute this sort of thing to type. I think it has to do with one's personal morals (which are obviously not type-dependent) and their situation.

[Creepy-male]

Honestly, it kind of bugs me when people try to attribute this sort of thing to type. I think it has to do with one's personal morals (which are obviously not type-dependent) and their situation.

Arguable, actually, since carries a sense of "what is socially right."

I mean, that's where the Mad Scientist stereotype comes from. Crazy, unethical geniuses laughed out of academia for their off-the-planet ideas.

Sound familiar?

[strrrng]

Arguable, actually, since carries a sense of "what is socially right."

I mean, that's where the Mad Scientist stereotype comes from. Crazy, unethical geniuses laughed out of academia for their off-the-planet ideas.

Sound familiar?

Nope!

[jewels]

OK, I'm going to sound like a sap or something similar here, but I haven't cheated on a partner. I guess the closest I came to actually going behind someones back, was when I was 19 or something and having a snog with some girl at the dancing, proceeding to finish the relationship with my partner that same weekend anyway (it was already over as we both knew before that point.)

So I dunno, in a relationship I haven't had problems were the girl doesn't want to have sex, we seem to be able to balance it out with each other. Maybe if I was in a relationship where I wasn't getting any at all then I would go with someone else, but then I think I'd need to like the other person physically and emotionally, so in that situation I'd be considering (and probably would) leave my other half anyway.

I suppose it becomes more difficult when there are children involved, but then, i'd like to think if I got to the stage of having a family with someone, that we'd be able to work that sort of shit out.

Although, I see people going behind their partners backs so often, and then when you ask people if they would, just about all of them say "definately not." So statistically at least some of them are lying. I've sometimes wondered if i'm the only person who even puts a value in being faithful. I dunno, it might even be something to do with me wanting to establish and maintain the good feeling I get out of my Fi hidden agenda being fufilled, with some sort of loyalty-connection thing.

Maybe I should experiment more with this two timing thing, maybe I am missing out on a lot of fun..

@Jessica, ugh, am I starting to talk about my life now?

Oh please don't "experiment w/ the two timing thing"!! The world needs at least a handful of people who are still loyal and not cheaters!! I think people who cheat are really not able to be that close to another person, so they prob feel they don't have much to lose. But if it's possible for someone to actually feel something strong for another person, I don't see why anyone would risk that. It's too rare of a thing to lose.

[Creepy-male]

No quadra has a monopoly on what is "socially" right, especially when it's such a subjective matter.

has more to do with rules of tradition, etiquette and ritual rather then social justice.

ITT: Irrationals grappling with words.

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[strrrng]

When are people going to stop spreading this bullshit? Really hkkmr, you should know better than this by now. And unless you are a Fi ego, don't bother saying something stupid like 'Actually he's right' because he's not. Fi is NOT about tradition, ritual, or etiquette, and anyone who says it is, has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.

+1000

Actually for Gamma's it's mostly about making a big hissy fit and imposing their will on others and turning statements like this...

"Fi is NOT about tradition, ritual, or etiquette, and anyone who says it is, has absolutely no idea what they're talking about."

into "practice", "ritual", "etiquette"...

Thanks for showing how it works Diana, you help is quite appreciated.

lol @ the alpha NT patting himself on the back based on the illusion of his self-contained system being proven right.

[jessica129]

Oh please don't "experiment w/ the two timing thing"!! The world needs at least a handful of people who are still loyal and not cheaters!! I think people who cheat are really not able to be that close to another person, so they prob feel they don't have much to lose. But if it's possible for someone to actually feel something strong for another person, I don't see why anyone would risk that. It's too rare of a thing to lose.

Have you never needed something purely for physical reasons?

[tiny_dancer]

Have you never needed something purely for physical reasons?

That's an interesting question. I haven't really considered it before.. but I think if I really needed something I'd go out and get it, right? And I've never done that. So I'm guessing the answer is no.

[forgetmenot]

In terms of cheating:
What is worse - thinking about somebody else, dreaming about them or being drunk and having sex with someone?
Would you forgive any of these?

[jewels]

Have you never needed something purely for physical reasons?

Well, personally, the two things go together for me, but I've always been relationship focused. Everyone is different of course.

The thing is, if someone wants something for physical reasons only, why cheat? Why not dump the guy you're with and just date people who didn't want relationships? There are tons of people like that out there. Or get a friends with benefits or something and keep your options open, right? I'm sure tons of guys would love that arrangement.

I don't care what people want to do, but when they're misleading and hurting someone else in order to get it for themselves, that's a problem.

[jessica129]

Basically, my opinion on the subject shouldn't matter as I've never really been in more than one serious relationship in which i cared enough about the other person not to cheat. When I was once, the thought never entered my mind.

[Angel von Himmel]

Girls who cheat in their boyfriends usually do indeed they say they love them, and it is true. Women who love men are more likely to cheat on those men. Sex and love are two conflicting opposites. You can not love someone 100% yet be sexual with that same person 100%. It is impossible.

Um, what the fuck are you talking about? How would you know this?

I don't really understand this either. Maybe you could elaborate?

Sex is actually psychologically a destructive act on the psyche. Love is not about destruction, it is about putting things together and building something. Is it possible to build something and destroy it at the same time? Nope ... same thing with love and sex, the two can not really coexist with each other.

[redbaron]

In terms of cheating:
What is worse - thinking about somebody else, dreaming about them or being drunk and having sex with someone?
Would you forgive any of these?

having sex with them is worse than thinking about them. Thoughts don't have consequences, actions usually do. Tho of course thoughts can lead to actions.

I'd forgive the thoughts of course (actually I don't even want to KNOW about the thoughts) but of course the actions must be contextualized. There's a difference between a one-night stand when drunk and an ongoing emotionally attached relationship.

[redbaron]

Sex is actually psychologically a destructive act on the psyche. Love is not about destruction, it is about putting things together and building something. Is it possible to build something and destroy it at the same time? Nope ... same thing with love and sex, the two can not really coexist with each other.

how is sex a destructive act on the psyche? what does that even mean?

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[Lotus]

When are people going to stop spreading this bullshit? Really hkkmr, you should know better than this by now. And unless you are a Fi ego, don't bother saying something stupid like 'Actually he's right' because he's not. Fi is NOT about tradition, ritual, or etiquette, and anyone who says it is, has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.

Actually for Gamma's it's mostly about making a big hissy fit and imposing their will on others and turning statements like this...

"Fi is NOT about tradition, ritual, or etiquette, and anyone who says it is, has absolutely no idea what they're talking about."

into "practice", "ritual", "etiquette"...

Thanks for showing how it works Diana, you help is quite appreciated.

hkkmr, that made absolutely no sense.

[1981slater]

It's ok, you don't need to understand. It wasn't for you.

when things like this happen in Spain, people usually say:
"wow, he's a great bullfighter!"

[Lotus]

It's ok, you don't need to understand. It wasn't for you.

I was referring to your understanding of Fi. Diana's right, everything you're spewing is complete bullshit.

[cracka]

Sex is actually psychologically a destructive act on the psyche.

I'd say this may be true in some cases. For instance, when you're a guy, who's having sex with a dude who pretending to be a female... lmfaoomgwtfbbqqftftw.

[calenwen]

When are people going to stop spreading this bullshit? Really hkkmr, you should know better than this by now. And unless you are a Fi ego, don't bother saying something stupid like 'Actually he's right' because he's not. Fi is NOT about tradition, ritual, or etiquette, and anyone who says it is, has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.

+ infinity

hkkmr, that made absolutely no sense.

It really did make absolutely zero sense. Where do you even get such a screwed up idea of Fi?

[Creepy-male]

This is just insane.

There is no dichotomy between love and sex.

Wrong.

Get out of your hole, hypocrite

[Rubicon]

This is just insane.

There is no dichotomy between love and sex. It is not some sort of destructive act on the psyche. Take your mind out of that new-age bullshit and moralistic masturbation. Sex is a ultimately a act of creation, reproduction and pleasure. Because we value the intimacy, physical and emotional that sex offers, we package it, sell it and turn it into disposable commodity. We seek to control it, acquire it, prevent it based on our various other petty selfish desires and needs.

We do the same with love too, but ultimately it's supposed to be a feeling of joy and benevolence. And people use it to hurt others with their love, make them do our bidding because of it, and twist the meaning of it so evil can be done in it's name.

People like you just turn sex and love into perverse caricatures because ultimately people like you are just sick and perverse degenerates. Take some hypocrite like Ted Haggard for example, total degenerate.

+100

[Creepy-male]

So, let's put this in perspective.

I'm asexual, therefore I cannot feel love.

Is this what you're saying? And don't give me that "No true Scotsman" argument, because we both know that's a fallacy.

[leftylib]

So, let's put this in perspective.

I'm asexual, therefore I cannot feel love.

Is this what you're saying? And don't give me that "No true Scotsman" argument, because we both know that's a fallacy.

this reminds me of some guy who was on the view talking about his asexual organization and its funny, because like your type i suspected he was an ENTP. Si is the fourth function of the ENTP and according to what I've read that is the vulnerable function of that type (and the 4th function vulnerable for all types).

[Creepy-male]

this reminds me of some guy who was on the view talking about his asexual organization and its funny, because like your type i suspected he was an ENTP. Si is the fourth function of the ENTP and according to what I've read that is the vulnerable function of that type (and the 4th function vulnerable for all types).

Fi, actually, not Si.

But thanks, you've given me an idea for a thread.

[Creepy-male]

Love and sex are neither dichotomies or exclusive of each other.

Neither love or sex necessitate each other, nor exclude each other.

Let's analyze that.

1) Love and sex are not dichotomous.
2) Love and sex do not necessitate eachother.
3) Love and sex are not mutually exclusive.

Pardon me, but 2 and 3 seem to be directly at odds.

[Creepy-male]

2 and 3 aren't at odds.

Explain how. Don't just gainsay, -bro.

[Creepy-male]

Oh, gotcha.

3 seems invalid then, since it should translate out to "Love and sex are mutually concurrent".

On a related note, this is why I doubt I have creative

EDIT

No, I gotcha f'real. My bad.