Originally Posted by
Sirena
Yeah, I agree. I definitely do pay a lot of attention and place a lot of importance on ethical/moral issues. So that definitely adds to the confusion.
Thanks jewels! This is good. I appreciate you putting in the effort to help me figure this out once and for all...I hope. Does that sound like Te HA? hehe
OK, regarding Ti vs Te HA...I'm having a hard time answering this one, as with almost everything. I was actually thinking about this dichotomy a few days ago and read up on some descriptions, which I proceeded to try to explain to some of my family members. Everyone I asked had no doubt that I've prefered Ti my whole life and have always had an aversion to Te. To be more specific, I was reading up on Te PoLR for INFps and how much they dislike practical matters, not that ENFps like it, INFps are more averse to it. My family has always called me the least practical person in the world. I cringe away from these things. We also talked about how Ti relates to theories and ideologies and my mom especially (ESFp) was adamant that I'm the less grounded of the two. She swears that I've always sought this out in my dad (INTj). He and I have always liked discussing theories and ideologies and stuff. Words that they've always used to describe me are "in the clouds", "spacey", "off in her own little world", "lives in her fantasy world", "recluse", "moody", "broody", "passionate", "opinionated", "complex", "great depth of emotion", "hard to understand", "different".
So, I realize this doesn't have much with what you posted, but I wanted to mention it. The only way I feel I can choose between the two things you posted is by saying that I *always* complicate things. In general. I guess this would apply to the example you posted, but I'm not sure. Basically, I want to understand things so no matter what information I get, I need to keep searching and searching until I understand it myself, which rarely truly happens. So no, I don't see myself being satisfied with just information, but at the same time I do get frustrated that I always have to keep looking and the process never ends. But I can't be satisfied otherwise. Not until I know for myself. But I'm not sure what that all means. I don't relate to the searching process being more important than the goal of gaining understanding. I mean, I guess in the grand scheme of things, I am grateful that the learning process never ends. Life would be entirely too boring and empty without this struggle and I truly enjoy those moments of realization. The epiphanies. When everything suddenly makes sense. Only to change again later though. So that inconsistency does aggravate me because it makes me feel flaky and groundless. But I also know that without the constant doubt, there would be no epiphanies or at least they wouldn't mean as much. I see no black and white, only gray.
I'll post more in response to Fi vs Fe later. I'm very sleepy now. But I'll say something...I'm not an easy conversationalist. It's gotten better with practice, but it's not something that comes naturally. I'm usually too much in my head, overthinking everything. Feeling everything. It's hard to express my thoughts and emotions in words. Very hard. And even when I do try I'm left disappointed, never being able to do them justice. Having regular chitchat about mundane things is even worse because it's less fulfulling due to lack of interest. I literally have to force myself to try to appear normal during a conversation. To talk about normal things. I just don't focus on that and it drains me. It bores me. So people usually think I'm either really quiet or a little odd. Anyway, I can't emphasize enough how much I dread this, which is a reason I dislike meeting new people. Because you're almost always obligated to talk about stuff like this. And it's not that I lack interest in people or their lives. I just have a really hard time keeping up a conversation unless we really really click or we're discussing something I find interesting. I appreciate the few people I can be myself with enough to say a couple of words to and not feel obligated to keep talking. Some people have been inclined to relate things that have happened at work, throughout the day, which I like to hear. But I find that I'm not like most people, who will continue asking questions about it, like my ESFj grandma. I really do care and I want to hear it, but soon enough I'm in the clouds again.