Quote Originally Posted by sunnycalih View Post
My real question, and maybe I should hop over to some “duality” thread, is will my dual really give me what I need. Will they comfort me when I’m panicky? Or will they do the same thing. That’s another fear I have. If I do let him go, it’ll be, deeply, because I have this idealistic hope of having that “duality” relationship.
Sunny ... two things.
1. You don't have to give up on the relationship you have. You've given us a few details about it, but only you are living it. And no relationship is perfect. You're going through a rough spot, but if the two of you can address what's going on and come to an understanding, that very process can strengthen the bonds between you. EVERY RELATIONSHIP TAKES WORK. Now, if you have been noticing all sorts of problems and they're stacking up unresolved, THAT is important and probably a good indicator that either the two of you are innately incompatible or one or both of you has some emotional maturity to develop. But again, we can't really tell you that from an internet forum.

2. Your dual is not going to give you what you "need" any more or less than any other type. Their information metabolism is theorized to be the most complementary to your own, and that's all. It means that you're likely to be comfortable around them ... but ultimately it's up to YOU to give yourself what you need, and then find someone whose company you enjoy deeply enough to commit yourself to. And let me not downplay the difficulty of doing this for oneself - I can't even be certain I've achieved that level of maturity! But I'm not AFRAID of being alone; I know I'll be OK. The relationship I have with my current SO is going great, but if at some point in the future we end up not together, my life will go on, and that is no smear on him - I would hope he could say the same about himself. To me, that makes it even more significant that we choose to share our lives with each other.

It sounds like you're going through some strong and confusing emotions, so I hope I haven't said anything that sounds dismissive. Give yourself some time and space to yourself to give them some expression, because trying to stuff those emotions down and not acknowledge them has had bad results for me.