Quote Originally Posted by sunnycalih View Post
My ex and I were a supervisor relationship. I was the supervisee. That was a horrible relationship. I never thought this relationship could compare to that one. We argued constantly. It had become a comfort blanket for both of us, but the blanket had turned into a piece of prickly sand paper. We’d be cold w/ out it, but gotdam, if it wasn’t annoying to be under.

This relationship is turning into something almost more hurtful. Because I can’t hate my SLE like I hated my LII. I could get some sort of dislike going for the LII, because he was doing things purposefully to get to me. granted, after reading about socionics, I understand he was probably coming w/ good intentions, too. thank god I didn’t know about all this business then. maybe I’d still be stuck there! I wonder if this would be easier to deal w/ if I didn’t understand SO much, where he is coming from.
I had similar experiences - I mean I was with LII and with SLE. For me, the relationship with LII was much better. I felt really comfortable with him, at ease especially in the beginning. I really loved that guy although he had a very difficult character. I don't blame his type for that. I know other INTjs, they are prone to have "difficult characters" but not all of them do. I'd actually never say I hate LIIs, it's just the opposite. I admire them in a way and I feel good in their company.
My SLE was a person I really couldn't forget. The breakup was really painful although the relationship wasn't very serious. Because I thought he was an ideal. Now I think he's too loud, too self-centered and compared to my LII antitechnical (a trait which I value no idea why )

And I think you overestimate duality. I'm sure it's really comfortable but you can have a nice life with other types. It depends on what you value. If I had a choice, I would go for another LII or SLI. Not because I think SLIs are a perfect match but because I know what I like. I like quiet, thinking types, with a sense of humor.

Actually I'm sure you have a good intuition and you know what's good for you. I think you should forget about socionics a little bit and treat it more like a hobby. It's just a theory, some time ago people believed that the earth is a pancake. I mean I'm not saying it's a bad theory but just keep distance. From my own experience I know you may start exaggerating your stereotypical ENFpish traits and value ISTps too much. Anyway, some dual relationships also finish with a painful break-up.

If I could give you some piece of advice, try to find some strength inside you, because it is there. You don't need any ISTp or whoever to calm you, try to do it yourself. Try to treat yourself as if you were your best friend. If you feel insecure - try to think it's just a moment and it will be gone. Make a cup of tea, relax, try to keep distance. I'm sure it will work.

I wish you good luck with everything! Whatever happens, if you get married or if you finish this relationship - be your best friend and try to be the best to you. Take care of yourself, raise your mood! Nobody will do it for you, and it's even better to do it yourself .
Take care! I am with you :*