Experiences with Superego Relations

[Jarno]

I was scary for the conflicts that would arise, but I haven't experienced them yet.

I've had a brief relationships with ISFP women. It starts easely, because of the same temperament, but probably even more because of the seemingly Ideal partner.

Although I recently saw in a threat Strnggg (INFP) and Cyclops (ISTP) have a big fight, they are superego too... so I guess the fights can be pretty mean.

But so far for me personally, superego relations are fine. Yet the socionics descriptions still scares me enough not to look for another superego girlfriend.

BTW now I remember a particular trait of this relationship which stood out. One partner is too clingy. In my case the ISFP women was way to clingy. Also the reason I broke the relationship. I've had this similar experience with an male ISFP aquantance of mine. They both kept page messaging me for a year... after I broke contact.

[1981slater]

Super ego and conflictor relationship are the worst by FAR. Avoid it, at any cost. Another point of view is to believe that gamma SFs are bad for every non gamma person. Who knows? Fuck gamma SFs! (I mean down with them-hate-fury, not romantic relationship with them)

[jessica129]

It's really rough...really, really rough. Really.



I think the number one thing that sticks out for me is the major misunderstandings that hurt each other to the core.

[redbaron]

It's really rough...really, really rough. Really.



I think the number one thing that sticks out for me is the major misunderstandings that hurt each other to the core.

Oh right. I think I remember you posting about a relationship you had with an IEI.

It makes a certain amount of sense (to me anyway) that the ethical one would be the more clingy. Was that true in your case, Jessica?

[redbaron]

And what do you think these misunderstandings ride on? Assumptions that the other one knows what's going on when they don't? Or assuming you value the same things when you don't. Or... what?

I'm not sure I've ever known an SLI irl except for my hair person (who's great but obviously we're not that close and there's a chance she could be LSI).

[1981slater]

Misunderstandings are created by , which is usually unwilling to accept changes, the opposite of , prone to accept and promote changes

[redbaron]

Misunderstandings are created by , which is usually unwilling to accept changes, the opposite of , prone to accept and promote changes

so you're talking about for you in a superego relation, right?

So for me it would be the clash of and ?

[Bardia]

Hmmm its hard to pinpoint but I think part of it is trying to work together we just do things differently and the other will say but this way makes more sense. So there is just sort of an akward moment and we just kind of pick one way and do it. I think the Fe valuing on her part can be a little draining because I try to give it to her and it takes energy for me to do that. It probably also drains her when I ask her all sorts of Te related things. I think overall we get along well though.

[redbaron]

Hmmm, okay, thanks everyone for your replies.

[jessica129]

And what do you think these misunderstandings ride on? Assumptions that the other one knows what's going on when they don't? Or assuming you value the same things when you don't. Or... what?

I'm not sure I've ever known an SLI irl except for my hair person (who's great but obviously we're not that close and there's a chance she could be LSI).

Yeah, he was extremely clingy. I mean, I couldn't even go out with friends without him claiming i was "abandoning" him...but that's an entirely different story right there. I think the misunderstandings were just do to our complete opposite way of processing information. He really took my high level of introversion as me being uninterested and bitchy when that wasn't the case at all. I'd imagine this relation would be much harder between two introverts. I could tell the type of woman he needed and it wasn't me. We had more in common than most people but our communication skills were just non existant. I'd say something and he'd complain i was too blunt or not caring enough. Matter of fact, all his complaining seemed to revolve around how "passive" he thought i was. It was basically walking on egg shells the entire time. When it was good, it was amazing but when it was bad...my god, it was bad.

[redbaron]

Yeah, he was extremely clingy. I mean, I couldn't even go out with friends without him claiming i was "abandoning" him...but that's an entirely different story right there. I think the misunderstandings were just do to our complete opposite way of processing information. He really took my high level of introversion as me being uninterested and bitchy when that wasn't the case at all. I'd imagine this relation would be much harder between two introverts. I could tell the type of woman he needed and it wasn't me. We had more in common than most people but our communication skills were just non existant. I'd say something and he'd complain i was too blunt or not caring enough. Matter of fact, all his complaining seemed to revolve around how "passive" he thought i was. It was basically walking on egg shells the entire time. When it was good, it was amazing but when it was bad...my god, it was bad.

yeah, I can see not wanting to be with someone who's as passive as I am (or, horrors, even more passive). this friend I have who is either SLI or SEI is very passive. It's funny cause I think he expects me to start every single conversation. So we both stand there, neither of us talking, both of us wanting to talk and then walking away from it thinking that the other one doesn't really even want to be friends anymore or whatever. It's truly ridiculous. Our friendship only works when I feel like I have the freedom to approach him and play the extravert. Unfortunately, that freedom is gone at the moment. But anyway, I can sort of see how a superego thing would work. I mean, and how it would be difficult.

[iAnnAu]

With my ex-husband and I ... he would follow his habits (notably, diving so deep into video and board games that he would hardly even feed himself) and I would go looking for adventure (usually out-of-doors and frequently at the suggestion of an eager cohort), and then sometime later we'd notice we'd had hardly anything to do with one another for weeks, and both feel hurt. I kinda imagine he was expecting me to be more ESTp-ish and force him to come out and do things, and I was expecting him to be more ENFp-ish and want to come along at a mere suggestion of the unexpected. Obviously there's more to it, but when things unraveled, it was obvious that we each felt abandoned by the other ... like our expectations went unforgivably unmet.

[Bardia]

I have a pretty good frienship with an INTj. We don't do a lot of stuff together and she is at least 10 years olders so that might help. I know that we both do make an effort to make sure misunderstandings are resolved and we do have misunderstandings.

I had another friend who I thought might be INTj. We fought a lot and often intensely.

Super ego and conflictor relationship are the worst by FAR. Avoid it, at any cost. Another point of view is to believe that gamma SFs are bad for every non gamma person. Who knows? Fuck gamma SFs! (I mean down with them-hate-fury, not romantic relationship with them)

Your just jealous.