Quote Originally Posted by mercutio View Post
UDP.. I've had that same thing of some people deciding that I don't get angry, or be like "fuck you".. thing is I do get angry, and be like "fuck you"; sometimes I control my behaviour more than other times that's all.

Like it's pretty easy to get me to say fuck you - just make things personal - it's easy to get me to be like fuck you - keep things impersonal.
I think I understand you. I'm just not sure what the final sentence means. I think I am similar in terms of controlling my behavior. She's seen me go toe-to-toe with people at work, and point out to my boss things that he did wrong or could have done better. But she's never seen me get "emotionally angry" at people, or "flip out". On the other hand, I've pointed out what people did wrong and been angry at them for doing so. So I think to her it's more that I don't seek to emotionally rouse people.

Going away from your post and talking some about myself: It's misleading sometimes how I am, I think people particularly are thrown off by how I act. It generally feels as though I must explain myself to them more, whereas, Fi valuing people seem to "get it" without much explanation. Fe people don't seem to understand how I can be so intense or "go getter" but without that much emotion. It's more a direct force or movement. There is energy into my voice or actions but it is not asking for an emotional response or responding to an emotional setting, so it seems to throw Fe valuing people off in that way. The matter there seems to be whether or not they understand who I am in a fundamental way, which essentially takes them (and most people) time.


Quote Originally Posted by jessica129 View Post
Do you consider that IEI your friend? Dunno...I realize she was probobly joking around but that'd offend me to be honest. The whole "You're kinda boring" seems a bit hostile.
She was generally serious about what she said of me. It didn't bother me at all, because what she considers "boring" or "not boring" doesn't particularly bother me. (however, see the taunt quote below). Also, she's mature enough to understand me for who I am (which is a special quality of people, and not types), and I am mature enough to understand her - and socionics helps me as well. But if it were not for that maturity and apparent awareness that I simply don't react to her Fe prods, I don't think I'd be able to be friends with her. Glamourama is also this way. As she said somewhere (or at least to me), it used to bother her significantly, but just came to understand that "it's how UDP is".


A lot of how she sees me as boring is that I follow zero fe leads that she makes, when she tries to make things more fun (in her eyes). I imagine, although I never addressed this with her, that I seem odd, because sometimes I will seem more "humorous" than others - and it has more to do with what I feel, rather than what efforts she makes.

Also, we first "met" at work, generally. So I seemed extremely serious and extremely boring, at first. This is because she tries to ease the mood with Fe. We likely would have never encountered each other if not for 1) some unusual circumstances and 2) certain shared interests. There was also physical attraction involved, some.

As far as doing things, well, I actually do significantly more 'work'/school activities than she does. And I do things outside of it as well. I think there is also a little bit of me being boring in that I'm friends with her but I don't pursue her to do things with me, which INFps seem to generally expect and want. This isn't because I'm wanting her to invite me to do stuff, but, it's that I just don't want to do things with her. "I can do whatever I like", and I generally do.

It's a taunt - like - do something interesting.
Yeah. IEIs say that sometimes as a sort of "negative Fe move", like them expressing "hey this isn't fun, do something about it". But that doesn't do anything to me.

If anything, like with the one IEI I/we can't talk to/gether for more than 10 minutes because we are so adverse, it makes me want to distance myself from the person. If someone is actually really accusing me of being boring, then I say forget it - because I take that as having to cater to their emotional needs in a way that I cannot. EIIs never, ever make statements like that, and that's very nice - it's more how much you pay attention to their needs and comfort. IEIs want you to do things that are "exciting", and what is exciting to them is not generally something I feel as productive and/or relaxing to me. Often I feel like IEIs want things from me that I simply have no means of giving them, so, when it gets to that stage and they are 'expecting' certain things from me, that's when I really shut things down.

The worst is when an IEI basically likes you as a friend and still hasn't given up on you, possibly, doing something exciting and entertaining with them - as they want. Again, its people subconsciously wanting a person they like to be their duals.