That I am really an ENFp ...
First of all, there is no way that I am not dominant ... all my life I have done nothing but to consider what it is other people believe and I have always tried to look at all sides of every concept.
For example, the other day I was talking with some friends. We were talking about the ethicalities of morality or something and I may the point to look at it too diffrent ways.
I gave an example - "say a man is drafted into the military, goes over seas, shoot people, and is given a medal. Now, another man loses his job, his family, buys a machine gun, shoots people in a mall, and goes to jail. What the hell is the diffrence between the two? Is it that one is justified and the other is not? It seems to same to me." I do not think anyone answered that, actually people sort of looked at me oddly.
Well anyways, I had it pointed out later by someone who heard that that that was some pretty strong Ne I was expounding there ... I agree, actually.
Also, I am beginning to doubt that I have a PoLR ... really does not bother me as much as I thought and I actually express more of it than I previously thought. It is not that much of a problem for me. In fact, I am starting to think that it may even be stronger than I realize.
I mean, I do not usually go around flaunting feeling everywhere I go and I do not usually stop for people. But, I do often pay full attention to people just to pay attention to them when they want to talk to me, even when I do not have anything really interesting to say in return. Sometimes I do not even leave when I probably should leave, cause they are talking to me. I hate being rude and that is something I have just always done. I also like to keep people out of trouble and bad situations. I hate to see people make stupid mistakes.
Not only that, but there are certain types of people I just totally despise.
In fact, I have a mental shitlist of things I just do not like in this world.
I have a feeling that the following might offend some people, but anyhow.
Occasionally I have exceptions for the following for specific individuals who I have certain understandings with, but anyone who generally meets the following criteria is at risk of getting shitlisted by me and I will pay minimal attention to if at all.
1. anyone who acts or even remotely looks like my father
2. anyone who enjoys the taste of alcohol and drinks socially
3. anyone who frequents a bar or place where alcohol is sold
4. anyone who preys on, uses, abuses those who are weaker than them
5. anyone who is an insecure bully and wrecks the self-esteem of others
6. anyone who cheats on boyfriend/girlfriend
7. anyone who sleeps around and has no ability to commit or is untrustworthy
Well, I probably could add much more to this list, but I think I will stop there. And I am serious about the shitlisting bit "I will not talk to you at all, ever!" So, if I talk to you, you are not shitlisted ... just so you know.
I actually am starting to think that I have a PoLR and a hidden agenda. I have always felt intelligent and other people see me as intelligent, but in some odd way I have always had problems with my own perception of intellect. Something there that just does not make me feel that I am strong in that area.
I mean, there are times where I have failed to research facts and have looked stupid. I admit that, but I usually lug through. And I hate it when people ask "why" questions of any sort ... I think it is sort of demeaning when people try to ask me to do things by asking questions and I hate it when people ask questions about me personally. I can not help but to think "Yeah, that is none of you buisness, shut up!" but I usually do not say it and change the subject or something.
Also, I get pissed if I think that someone thought of something obvious that I should have thought up before they did, so I often try to keep track of what other people might think and try to out-think people all the time. It is a crappy way to go, but it keeps me on the ball and no one else but me seems to understand that I get pissed when it happens, so it is better that way, I guess.
I really did not do that well in highscool, except in subjects that interested me. I spent most of my time charming girls and hanging out with friends as opposed to studying, and when I was not doing that I would charm the female teachers and I usually got a higher mark in classes that I would have otherwised flunked because of that. I had a few 30 and 40 year old women as teachers who had obvious crushes on me, I even had one who had subbed another class and spent most of the time sitting next in the desk next to me chatting away. Do not ask ... I thought it was weird too, but anyhow.
I did pretty much the same thing at the 4 university and colleges I have attended, except that I have been more serious with higher education and got better grades than I did in highschool. I still charm my way around, though. Probably nothing I can really help but to do ...
I have never had a solid relationship, I spend alot of energy into charming girls and I still have not been able to form a lasting relationship of anysort. I have probably failed in that area and I am sort of dissapointed with the outcome of my attempts.
Anyhow ... this is basically my current reasoning for being an ENFp ... I bet some of you are probably going to say something like "I knew it" or something ... well, here you go.