I strongly disagree. I'm not "concerned" about my appearance. I mean, I care enough to put a little makeup on every morning, but by no means do I go around being "concerned" and worrying about how I look all day or obsessing over my hair. It all seems so vastly insignificant in the larger scheme of things. I can't fathom anyone normal-looking person caring that much. It seems wrong and extremely unattractive to me to be shallow enough to go to the extreme of getting surgery to alter your otherwise normal appearance.
Exactly.
Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.
John Muir
DA? Lol, makes me sound like Dorothy Ann from "The Magic Schoolbus." Pork is totally different! Ham is cured. Bacon is thin, fried, and you can see where the fat is. Pork has invisible insides and it's ugly. No fun to eat. And all three meats have a totally different flavor.
If you "weren't" concerned about your appearance you wouldn't feel the need to put makeup on...am i right? OMG UR SHALLOW, U WEAR MAKEUP!!! HOW DARE YOU??????
not to the point where you have to have sugery to alter how you feel, i mean i wouldn't walk down the street without clothings, or wear the same shirt for three years, SI polr or not that is pretty unhealthy. But obsessing of appreanace is not as beautiful as how you treat other people. GIrls who are caring and treat people right turn me on much more so that a slut who always tries to act high maintence.
Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.
John Muir
No. It's all or nothing: you either care or you don't. Wearing makeup and undergoing cosmetic surgery are both indicative of some amount of concern for your personal appearance, albeit maybe to different degrees.
Haha, yeah - it sounds all deep and pure... until you admit that in practice you probably don't actually find imperfections quite as attractive as you said you did in theory.Originally Posted by mpiazza000
I pretty much agree with this.
It's like watching your weight to be healthy rather obsessing over it because you're attached to a number on the scale. Putting on make-up, being clean, exercise, etc... these things are completely different from paying thousands of dollars to have someone remove your fat.
That's not true at all.
maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
go ask the frog what the scorpion knows
If it's all or nothing, how can there be different degreesOriginally Posted by songsofsappho
4w3-5w6-8w7
Calen, somewhere in the process of putting makeup on or viewing yourself without makeup, you have had to come to a conclusion that you didn't find yourself attractive enough without makeup...how is that not considered being concerned? Okay...maybe concerned is not quite the right word, but you know what i mean.
Fair enough. How about an analogy:
An oven is either on or off - that part is "all or nothing," but once it's turned on, it can be anywhere from 100 degrees to 500 or more.... there are [literally] different degrees in the oven's "on"-ness.
Same thing w concern for personal appearance - if you are completely indifferent, then that's that; but if you do care, there are different degrees of concern you might have about it.
Is that more clear? [not sarcasm]
The analogy is clear, but your point isn't.
For example:
We all have hunger, yes. But there's a difference between person A) who uses their hunger as an excuse to eat their feelings and person B) who responds to hunger by giving their body the fuel it needs to survive.
One way of responding to hunger is healthy and one isn't. One way of maintaining one's appearance is healthy while the other isn't.
maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
go ask the frog what the scorpion knows
There is no disagreement, and the hunger analogy wasn't the most clear-cut comparison, as hunger is a biological need, while awareness of one's appearance is more cognitive (albeit sentient).
The point remains: it is not all-or-nothing. You are not either blindly indifferent or unstably solicitous. People can take care of their appearance in a healthy manner, without attaching any negative emotions, insecurities, or anything else to it. Calenwen can put on makeup because it looks good—nothing more. She doesn't have to be compensating for anything (which is what a lipo person is doing).
4w3-5w6-8w7
@ everyone else: fine, shitty analogy. I'm not great at those, but whatever.
Well, my point was that you and Jessica are telling Calenwen that any means of maintaining appearance is proof that she is concerned about it. To me, this is irrelevant. It's not "Ah ha! So you do care!" Of course everyone has an awareness of how they look. It's not about that. It's about your response to that awareness. There's healthy versus unhealthy responses, simple maintenance versus permanent changes, make-up versus surgical alterations. It's not a matter of "all or nothing." There's varying degrees of reactions.
maybe a saint is just a dead prick with a good publicist
maybe tommorow's statues are insecure without their foes
go ask the frog what the scorpion knows
ham, bacon and pork are all delicious.
If any of you saw how huge my stomach was at 40 weeks pregnant with twins, and what exactly it looks like now, even though I only weigh 134 at 5 feet 10 inches, you might agree that surgery is desirable. It's just loose skin. I mean, I've lived with it for the past 9 years so it's not like I'm obsessed with getting rid of it. I'm not looking to wear a bikini or something and my husband doesn't care one way or the other but it's annoying, especially in summer, to always have to make SURE that area is covered up. Because otherwise it's just... gross.
So Diana, that's interesting that you think there may be a non-surgical fix for this? I mean, we're not just talking stretch marks here (although there are plenty of those as well but they don't bother me). But some serious skin. Hmmm. I'll have to look into that. I don't relish the thought of going under the knife for something not absolutely necessary. That's for sure.
IEI-Fe 4w3
I don't see why exercise can't fix such an issue.
4w3-5w6-8w7
If you lose massive amounts of weight in a short time period, you're still going to be left with loose skin no matter how hard you work out. I have tried everything in my power to tone it up and ....nothing. I could only imagine what it'd be like having twins. I see nothing wrong about getting that procedure done.
fypIf cosmetic surgery were available as standard on your current health care plan...
Nope. Exercise tones the muscles underneath. But once skin is stretched out to a certain point, it doesn't bounce back. That's why, if you've ever seen very obese people who have lost a lot of weight, they sometimes have rolls of skin in certain places. No amount of exercise fixes that.
IEI-Fe 4w3
.
Yeah, that type of procedure seems more pragmatic than most—especially if the person has already put work in on their body. Lipo is a different thing to me, though.
4w3-5w6-8w7
i checked this out. mine is to the point of my belly button being deformed. not sure that would help me.
my ab muscles have also separated and even with all the ab work i do, my stomach sticks out and you can see the hole up the middle. kinda weird looking....
and i completely agree with redbaron. i workout A LOT and the skin itself doesnt "go back."
i can also see how someone with very weak Si would be more self conscious about their appearance. kinda like the thread on Si PolR and the ones who go overboard keeping their homes pristinely clean and white, etc...
redbaron and dbbmamma, i don't judge women at all for that sort of thing. i'd be the first to get it done if i had kids and my stomach changed. i don't put that in the same category at all with boob jobs, nose jobs, etc.- and not that i judge that stuff either.
also, calenwen and anyone else: how is being obsessed with your appearance shallow and superficial? i am really insecure about certain aspects of my appearance- i'll get anxious and scared to be in public- but if you asked me whether I judge other people based on their appearances you would realize that I don't even notice!
Insecurity over your own appearance is not the same thing as judging other people for their appearance. As dbbmamma said, weak S types can overdo it in this regard.
And, also, even if jessica or other people here judged others for their appearance, no offense but who are you to judge that this is so bad?
we're judging people's judgments now.....oy
for myself, I don't care what standards people use to judge others (as long as it makes them happy). I'll just surround myself for people who appreciate the things in me that I appreciate in myself (and hence have similar values/things that they judge).
EII; E6(w5)
i am flakey