Interesting. I'd say control plays a part in it—much more so in previous years than now. Although, I don't think pain and whatnot is a means for control, but rather, a sort of physical exaltation that arises from knowing you are truly pushing the limits. The pain is like a necessity to reach your potential or something. But I will say that when I do implement any routine, I need to have complete control. It's hard to have the structure perturbed or something like that. Which is probably why I fluctuate.