It rather depends on the guy, and how you act towards him. We're easy creatures to confuse, particularly when a girl starts making flirty jokes towards us despite previously claiming that it was just a friend thing. Your average guy will assume that the situation has unintentionally changed; this may lead him to flirt back in turn. This tends to confuse the girl in turn, and the wierdness continues from there.
At least, that's how it happens with me. I tend to have a bit of a blind spot when it comes to people displaying romantic interest in me, so I've taken to assuming there's nothing there unless she specifically says something. *shrug*
In my experience, you're better off just talking to the guy when you feel something going a bit wierd. Don't just let it happen and ruin your friendship. Conversation is the mortar and spackle of friendship boundaries.
Thank God someone thinks this an ILI thing and not a him-liking-me thing. And, yes, it's exactly as you said: It's not that they're not easy going, it's just that they get strongly tied to this "perfect plan." As I said, though, a lot of ILIs I know do this planning thing, but aren't as demanding on the other person.
EII; E6(w5)
i am flakey
yeah, it's funny to see everyone focussing on what type he is, instead of answering your question, even funnier is that everyone knows immediately which type he is or is not, when having read 4 sentences. While you know this guy from let's say 1000 sentences. So everybody thinks they are about 250 times as smart as you. Which is pretty naieve and arrogant.
.
I feel a need to protect the ILI ego, but now that i look back on it, this seems like a petty thing to do .. and looking back he does seem ILI, and it's irrelevant if some dumbass hates on the type ILI. It really is
well it's different when both parties are married. I don't think there's been any misinterpretation in the case I'm thinking of. No status or intentions have been changed. it's just underlying feelings.
I generally think talking about it can be a good thing, as you said. but sometimes, there can be too much honesty.
IEI-Fe 4w3
Eh. That's a fundamental problem with relationships, in my opinion. Just because you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, why the need to spend EVERY SINGLE MOMENT together? I just can't understand it. I have friends who've been with their SO for years. For example, one tries to bring his girlfriend of about four years along to our parties, she doesn't have fun (geek parties are admittedly rather boring if you aren't into gaming, but STILL) and whines until they go home, an hour or two later at most. If he came by himself he'd have a ton of fun, but by bringing her along she doesn't have fun, he doesn't have fun, and we lose our friend.
Wouldn't work. Poor dude has a bedtime, for god's sake Totally under the thumb.
INTJ [mbti]
INTp [socionics]
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
-Robert A. Heinlein
Rather than start a new thread, I thought I'd post this here in this aptly-named one:
Last night my INTp friend came over and we hung out... after he'd left I called him to ask a question. My neighbors are moving and they must have dropped something heavy, because there was a loud noise that he could hear over the phone.
ILI - What was that?
Me - Burglar.
ILI - Oh, okay. Need any help?
Me - If I did would you come fight them off?
ILI - Nah, probably not. I've got a lot to do over here.
Me - You'd feel pretty bad if you didn't help me when I asked, and then I got raped.
ILI - No, I think you'd feel pretty bad if you got raped. I would feel fine.
Both - [Chuckling]
I love ILI's.
all of my friends are gay males.
i'm not quite sure how this happens. i'm not exactly fag-haggish, "yay! gay guys!"
normally i befriend the guy, and THEN i find out that he is gay. I have really terrible gaydar, so it's not a conscious thing. I think, though, that on a subconscious level I'm "friend" attracted to the guy because I know I can be. I really think it's almost impossible to be friends with straight guys.
And females are a sort of different story all together.
EDIT: except for all the male ILI friends I have. they are straight. so, gay males and straight, male ILIs are my only friends.
EII; E6(w5)
i am flakey