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Last edited by tereg; 05-07-2010 at 08:46 PM. Reason: Edited by user request
I pay, of course, attention to it when I ask a girl out, but not really otherwise. Unless we're talking about people that say, stink or something like this.
Eh, depends if I have a girlfriend or not. If I do, I'll probably talk to the person nearest to me. If I don't, I'll probably talk to the girl I like most.How the hell do you decide who you're going to talk to, who you're interested in getting to know etc. when in a room full of strangers? I personally look for people to talk to who have a particular body carriage, the way they stand, move, and their expressions all tell me whether they're someone I could talk to easily or not.
My final conclusion about myself: seems that physical appearance matters to me when sexual attraction comes into play, otherwise not.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
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I notice physical attractiveness, but I also find (and I think I've said this before) that it's inconstant. My perception of how attractive someone looks to me seems to waver like a reflection in water... sometimes someone who didn't seem all that attractive to me starts looking attractive to me... Even particular physical characteristics that I think I like seem malleable to some degree... I could think "I would never be attracted to X" but that could all change if I get to know someone better with X quality... all the sudden I might start liking that quality, or not caring. And the more there is a feeling of "love" the more that changes everything. Things about who they are really far inside ultimately are more important because they shift my standards (and my "standards" were never fixed to begin with).
Anyway I find that there is a lot of room to move in what I perceive as attractive. But it is not limitless. For instance I remember this sort of deformed person (one side of his nose was really big among other things) tried to hit on me a lot several years ago and I just didn't find him attractive at all... well actually I found looking at him repulsive. He was very intelligent, but I didn't really like his personality either in the sense that we just didn't/couldn't work. I felt bad about all of this because I can think of 82394857 flaws about myself that could lead to similar rejections. Of course with this person, even if he had been extremely physically attractive I still wouldn't have liked him really... not in that way... and I remember feeling bad about the whole thing.
I guess I thought in the end that it's a matter of what people want or don't want, and you have to be selfish in that regard... and can't "settle for less." But the hang-up is the areas in oneself that are "less" because we can't ever be perfect (enough). I still haven't found the way to deal with the systematic inner rejections of myself. And I know that in one way or another, my own internal acceptance/rejection network regarding myself plays into what I accept/reject outside of me (whether in the same way or in an opposing way where I accept in others things I reject in myself).
this is a pretty ironic discussion in relation to who im currently dating. hah.
(they are not fat, however apparently i am over weight)
SEE Unknown Subtype
6w7 sx/so
[21:29] hitta: idealism is just the gap between the thought of death
[21:29] hitta: and not dying
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The guy I am kinda sorta seeing is not what most would consider attractive but put him in a room of single women and he could probobly get more numbers than that guy most would consider highly attractive. It's hard for me to come to a conclusion on this...I'm not very picky when it comes to looks as I can usually find something about their personality that makes them attractive but one thing I cannot get over is the obesity issue. Sorry. I'm not talking pleasantly plump, i'm talking obese. I just can't go there. We all have our preferences. I mainly go off of the general vibe of a person and their confidence level and how they interact with others. I can't explain it. So long as they're not freakishly ugly... When i'm in a relationship with someone, I barely even notice their looks anymore. Did i answer the question? I dunno.
EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
E3 (probably 3w4)
Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!
Old blog: http://firsttimeinusa.blogspot.com/
New blog: http://having-a-kid.blogspot.com/
And that's not a problem. A problem is your constant bashing and ridiculing when the topic comes up. Do you think that is going to inspire an obese person to join you at the gym and change something? You can have a preference or dislike and be civil about it.
As for the topic, when I am in a room full of people, I look for people who seem open and friendly because I can easily get intimidated in large crowds and I like to find people I feel comfortable with, which is not at all dependent on looks.
Of course I find certain people more attractive than others, but when I like someone, I cannot find them ugly. If that makes me a freak, I'll be a freak.![]()
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
So if their final choice is to kill themselves, and shame provides the motivation for this act, then do you hold your reasoning to be still valid? C'mon. I would like to see pictures of all the fat-bashing people. I could bet that all the people that are anti-fat-bashing are better looking and in better shape than the fat-bashers.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
I think it was said before in this thread, but I am not (or at least I do not honestly think) I look anything like a Tom Cruise, but I can still get phone numbers, get women to talk to me, etc. I think this is because I am very honest, ambitious, and I know how to but things into perspective. As far as how I am attracted to women, I am attracted to the ones that are physically attractive, but there are a lot of exceptions to this too. Some women I find more attractive than women that are supposed to be more physically attractive according to what others might say, or by mass media's standards. As far as people in general, I try to associate with attractive people as much as I can that also fit my values.
lol...um.....i don't think she's what i'd call fatI actually think Renee Zellweger looks so much better at this weight than she does when she's like 105 soaking wet. If i were a guy i think i'd probobly be more attracted to the bridgett jones Renee. Gah, that is such a great movie.
"Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."
- Voltaire
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What initially attracts me to a person is how they're behaving. I mean, I can see someone who's purely physically good-looking and appreciate that they are in possession of good looks, but I wouldn't say that's attraction. It's just kinda meaningless information to me until I get to know the person.
In a room full of strangers ... meh. Idk. I just talk to random people. People that look open to being talked to. :-p
I agree that most people have physical preferences that they associate with different character traits (subconscious or otherwise) ... but I don't dismiss those looks that don't fit my "requirements" ... because appearances can be deceptive for a start. For example, I'm not attracted to really muscular guys because that generally says to me that they spend an inordinate amount of time on their shape. But I could be wrong. Maybe the guy is a nerd at heart, but has a really physical job or something. :-p So I think it's rather silly to dismiss someone based on their looks until you get to know them and what their looks stand for.
As far as things like shapes of noses and eyes go - pfft ... I don't give two hoots. If a strong jaw means a stubborn asshole though .. maybe I should care more lol. But I like to find someone's personality traits out through personal interaction, not through guesswork from afar. Maybe that's my Te polr?![]()
"Language is the Rubicon that divides man from beast."
I think stressing that some people are saying that physical factors are completely unimportant to physical attraction is distorting what they're saying quite a bit. I'll set that aside though for the purposes of this thread though.
Of course when you're looking around a room of strangers physical info is about all you have to go off of. This woman looks like a model, that one over there defies conventional views of beauty (maybe plain, somewhat overweight, poor carriage). From there you could say, yes, definitely more physically attracted to the model.
Then you chat up the model and find out her appearance are curtains hiding an empty stage. She's vapid, uninteresting, perhaps not too bright, maybe batshit crazy. Suddenly, even though she looked like the picture of evolutionary/biological health as far as choosing a mate (or however you'd like to put it), she becomes repulsive in the sense that her looks don't seem that relevant to you anymore. The thought of her being responsible for raising a child (your child!) makes you throw up a little in your mouth.
You might say, well, she's still physically attractive to you, those characteristics haven't changed, but I'd have to disagree. Those characteristics, in this particular individual, might appear to you to be contextualized. You're dealing with a question of attraction not based on form but on substance, a line which once crossed I don't think there's any going back. I'm not trying to state that at this point form has passed into irrelevance, but it can no longer stand as the sole criteria (unless we're to judge a host of things from a distance without diving deeper into the person and, inevitably, back into the subject).
An example of this might be still finding your SO attractive even as they grow older and physically their features become what might (in more objective standards, by form) be described as less or not attractive, you might see behind the wrinkles around their eyes or liver spotted hands something immensely beautiful: years of shared memories, wonder and loss, bright and dark moments both. And you remember the time you met her in a room full of strangers, the slouched girl with the half cocked smile who captivated you with her wit and charm.
Moonlight will fall
Winter will end
Harvest will come
Your heart will mend
I'm pretty much on the same page as Diana.
Some of the replies perplex me.
Average looking and ugly people actually reproduce at a much more frequent rate than highly attractive people.
I'm good looking and intelligent. I'll have to find a good looking and intelligent wife, and then have much pleasing sex with her, raising a few (not too many, but maybe 2-3-4) kids. I will do this for the benefit of humanity, aesthetically and intellectually speaking. We will shrug off statistics and be leaders of the new way. For the benefit of society - to save the world - this will be my quest.
And so, destiny reveals itself.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
I'm glad that it's all about reproduction and being a birthing or fertilizing unit. I think I feel estranged from my own biology. The filthy genes of the average and unattractive people are clearly turning the purity of humanity into a sort of vile cesspool.
that's just awful udp. you should be ashamed.
asd
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
Lol @ all you single people.
But, for a certainty, back then,
We loved so many, yet hated so much,
We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...
Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
Whilst our laughter echoed,
Under cerulean skies...