Why are some people attracted, or indifferent to, fat people?

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[Kim]

I agree w you that it won't, but when you asked that it sparked my interest bc it coincided w some things I had been thinking about [not to do w this thread, but about how in general we judge other people based on our values and not theirs].

Ok, I will officially ask the question again : What DOES being fat say about people's character?

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[Kim]

Depends on their culture and personal values. If they know that being that fat is unhealthy and choose not to do anything about it, it shows either laziness or a lack of concern for their self and their body. If they are in severe depression and cannot bring themselves to care, then it shows their mental state instead, and they should get help. If they live in a culture where fat is prized and beautiful, it could show either people-pleasing tendencies, or a pride in themself and their body. People's bodies do say something about them, and like anything else need to be read in context, but it's not meaningless.

Thanks, Diana! When I was at my highest weight, it said a lot about my mental health, but I was never lazy, which is why I am so bothered by the assumption fat=lazy. Perhaps it is true for some, so what? It's no more consequential for me or anyone than people smoking or drinking themselves into illness. The great majority of morbidly obese people I know are emotional eaters who happen to have "selected" food as their drug of choice over alcohol or drugs and the everyday fat bashing makes it all worse (I remember cursing the fact that I couldn't make myself throw up - pretty sick, eh?).

I just don't understand why people react so strongly. If you (nobody in particular) don't like the sight of fat people, don't look at them. I am not particularly crazy about certain sights or people, but that is entirely my own problem.

[Kim]

I answered the question. :S It has to be read in context, like I said. But, a person's body and how they treat it does say something about them, like anything else, and can certainly help you understand their character.

I think it says more about genes, mental health, and class (cheap food=bad food and lack of knowledge) than character. But then I suppose we could fizzle apart character...but even if being fat can mean that people lack willpower, how is that sort of lack anymore disgusting or condemnable than being addicted to drugs or alcohol or spending the day on the computer, which is certainly not healthy?

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[Ms. Kensington]

well i actually don't think the original post was about just fat, as Diana later specified the post. I think the original post came off as the fatness factor would trump all other good qualities, ie, if one had to choose between two people who were not necessarily equal in all other respects (at least one's attraction to them) they would not pick the fat one because they were fat.

personally, some fat is more attractive than others. how's that? hah.

[Ms. Kensington]

and.. well i can think of two reasons at least in the past.. some people think fatness might indicate fertility, richness..

also i have heard of fetishists who like the way the fat person feels (softness).

[Steve]

Some tribes regard fat women as more attractive while skinny women are seen as lacking something.

[olduser]

some people are nicely robust, you know, large features, large bones and look good with a little 'fat.' however, i am disgusted with the obese who are ugly with small features and squished faces that look like they packed it all around the midsection and then it started squishing their faces. I find this very unappealing.

[Kim]

Some tribes regard fat women as more attractive while skinny women are seen as lacking something.

I was in Nigeria over the summer and my host family was very concerned about me eating enough. My host dad said "eat so you gain weight" (no need for that by American standards!) Spending time in a culture that uses different criteria to measure attractiveness was a nice break and quite liberating.

Thanks for sharing, dolphin!

[olduser]

I was in Nigeria over the summer and my host family was very concerned about me eating enough. My host dad said "eat so you gain weight" (no need for that by American standards!) Spending time in a culture that uses different criteria to measure attractiveness was a nice break and quite liberating.

yeah, it's nice to consider weight only an issue of beauty, but really...

anyway, yeah, rake thin is bad. a little weight is a show of good health, and capability in reporudction.

[Kim]

yeah, it's nice to consider weight only an issue of beauty, but really...

Most Nigerian women are "robust" as you say and the average woman is a lot stronger than a Western woman because there is a lot more physical work, so even if the average Nigerian woman is heavier than her Western counterpart, she is also in better shape. Older women can be heavier because their metabolism slows down, but they are still extremely healthy because their diets are much healthier and they don't diet, therefore their weight is largely stable throughout their lives which I believe is said to be healthier than constantly losing and gaining.

PS: It's overall a different body type and since it's more like mine than that of thin Western celebrities who are considered attractive here, I felt very comfortable there.

[MysticSonic]

Maybe I haven't seen that many pictures of you Kim but you never appeared heavy at all to me really. I doubt anyone judges you on your character at the weight that you're at.

[Rubicon]

...

<3 <3

[olduser]

Most Nigerian women are "robust" as you say and the average woman is a lot stronger than a Western woman because there is a lot more physical work, so even if the average Nigerian woman is heavier than her Western counterpart, she is also in better shape. Older women can be heavier because their metabolism slows down, but they are still extremely healthy because their diets are much healthier and they don't diet, therefore their weight is largely stable throughout their lives which I believe is said to be healthier than constantly losing and gaining.

PS: It's overall a different body type and since it's more like mine than that of thin Western celebrities who are considered attractive here, I felt very comfortable there.

exceptions. i think when we talk about fat people we(an at least 75% majority) mean the ones in our own culture.

[Kim]

Maybe I haven't seen that many pictures of you Kim but you never appeared heavy at all to me really. I doubt anyone judges you on your character at the weight that you're at.

My weight fluctuated like mad over the course of 10 years or so until about 2 years ago. I used to be Ibs 100 heavier than I am now and I have been on every diet on the planet, know everything about nutrition, have 6 different dress sizes in my closet, once lost Ibs 40 in three months, gained it all back of course, lost it again, kept it off, blablabla. I have always had a fairly skinny face, which is why it never showed.

[Kim]

exceptions. i think when we talk about fat people we(an at least 75% majority) mean the ones in our own culture.

So where does fat start in this culture?

[07490]

McDonald's

(sorry I could not resist)

about two years ago, my long lost dad came to america to visit after 10 years of no show, so the first thing he said was damn son you used to be a stick and now you are a ______.

[FDG]

I think most of us suck in comparison to george clooney and naomi campbell, so our genitalia should be cut off so that we cannot reproduce and create horrid children. Not being beautiful is immoral.

You know, this highlights your prejudice..eg it's poor character, bad genes, an illness. It's all poor this and that..

Let me tell you something. A person can become very fat even if they are an extremely hard worker. Becoming very fat is not an overnight thing.

A person can spend almost all their time working in the office and driving to meet clients in their car that over the years their weight just keeps piling on. When you add their hard working, their metabolism slowing down in their thirties and forties, and weak S by living like this and only getting the chance to eat junk food on the go from take away shops and garages and such, that you end up with someone who is a very hard worker, trapped inside a body that crept up on them. You know, such a person could be an ENTj.

You suck!

Seems like only sane people remained in Europe during the mass migration to the US.

[jessica129]

haha, I know a girl in her 20's who came here from Korea about 2-3 years ago and said that she was 90 pounds when she came here and now she's around 110.

110?! What a fatass. I don't think I ever weighed under 130. Ever. Even as a child. Oh well.

[strrrng]

there is always beauty in pain

<3

They suffer to get where they are for aesthetic reasons even though inside they probably have deeper inner issues that go further than the aesthetic aspect (yes, I'm sure not all of them do). There is pain involved but it fills an empty void and it makes one feel beautiful because of it; a sick kind of personal pleasure, but it brings fourth an exhilarating inner high. That's the beauty in suffering, it's like an art meshed with intricate webbing, and I can't really get into the detail of it.

This is strikingly insightful, starfall. I have witnessed it in myself and a few good friends over the course of my high school career, and I think you're dead on. Like, I always wondered how one of my friends would get up every day at 4:30am just to train in the morning before school. And it's just because he was looking for a different form of pleasure than a 'normal' person would, probably linked to some void, but whatever. It's still not to be judged as something bad; to me, the thrill from that pain/void is more beautiful than some normal routine. 'What can you do when you're broken down' kind of thing; I don't care how well you can function under normal conditions. So, I like the people out there who train with/through the pain, because I know why they're doing it, and it's noble.

[discojoe]

I knew a fat kid in school. We used to throw cheese at him and roll him down hills.

[discojoe]

My BMI is 20.3

[FDG]

There is a lot of talking about the huge fat problem we have here (Norway). But I mean, we are pure health when it comes to weight compared to a lot of other countries. How did 30% of the US population end up obese? That's extreme!

Yeah, here too the fact that part of the population is overweight is considered a problem (overweight =! obese), but in fact most of the population just has a little tummy.

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[Gilly]

I'm sorry, but there are just so many potential reasons for people being fat, or remaining that way, that it's completely bigoted and, to me, unacceptable to make negative assumptions about a person's character simply because they are fat and you have no more information. Pathetic.

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[DirectorAbbie]

I don't care whether a person is fat, as long as they can function on their own and aren't so skinny that I touch my own elbow when I hug them.

[Creepy-Cyclops]

This thread is old and prejudice is older.

[discojoe]

My BMI is 20 as well, so this isn't about me defending myself. I just don't understand how you can evaluate people based on their looks?

You don't understand how you can evaluate someone's physical attractiveness based on the way they look?

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[strrrng]

lol. People imo are just so busy trying not to appear "shallow" that they end up looking really silly instead.

I agree completely (again).

[discojoe]

I actually feel really sorry for you thinking I say this to appear non-shallow. I mean what I say. If you are so convinced looks is the thing that makes everyone tick, then you'll probably be very depressed when you get old. I value people based on their personalities. I have been attracted to people who are perceived ugly lots of times, and I'm probably perceived beautiful myself. I definitely don't find looks important at all. It's a fact, and I tell you only to balance your childishness. I don't need you to believe me, but I hope anyone feeling hurt by this thread does. There are people having more important values in life than looks. And I bet we are more happy.

Straw man. We never said anything about looks being what "makes people tick". We're merely saying that looks are important (for us) and that there's nothing shallow about that in the least.

You can go ahead and keep your preference of indifference toward ugly people (you're fucked biologically, imo) and we'll keep our sane stance toward wanting attractive, healthy partners.

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[FDG]

The real problem with placing much importance on looks is that, in the end, we are all very ugly in comparison to somebody else.

[Kristiina]

Depends on their culture and personal values. If they know that being that fat is unhealthy and choose not to do anything about it, it shows either laziness or a lack of concern for their self and their body. If they are in severe depression and cannot bring themselves to care, then it shows their mental state instead, and they should get help. If they live in a culture where fat is prized and beautiful, it could show either people-pleasing tendencies, or a pride in themself and their body. People's bodies do say something about them, and like anything else need to be read in context, but it's not meaningless.

+10

They either can't stay healthy or they don't even care!

Ok, there is such a thing as being healthy but still somewhat soft-cheeked. Some people would just have to be too obsessed with food to lose those last 20 pounds seperating them from being considered thin and being that obsessed might not always be healthy. However, if a person is 100 pounds overweight, there's definitely something wrong with either their character or values.

[Kristiina]

Some tribes regard fat women as more attractive while skinny women are seen as lacking something.

A few hundred years ago the farming Estonians were convinced that a proper woman is big, wide and strong. They have to be able to carry buckets of water with no significant effort and they have to have good wide hips and enough fat to still have the figure of a REAL woman.

Well, then there was civilization and times changed.

[Kristiina]

I actually feel really sorry for you thinking I say this to appear non-shallow. I mean what I say. If you are so convinced looks is the thing that makes everyone tick, then you'll probably be very depressed when you get old. I value people based on their personalities. I have been attracted to people who are perceived ugly lots of times, and I'm probably perceived beautiful myself. I definitely don't find looks important at all. It's a fact, and I tell you only to balance your childishness. I don't need you to believe me, but I hope anyone feeling hurt by this thread does. There are people having more important values in life than looks. And I bet we are more happy.

lookes aren't everything, sure, but not giving any effort to be the best that you can be is more than just an issue about lookes.

[FDG]

lookes aren't everything, sure, but not giving any effort to be the best that you can be is more than just an issue about lookes.

What's the point in being the best you can be? It's more important to just be happy.