what do you guys think?
my aunt and uncle are ENFj-ISFp couple. been married now for 35+ years, quite happily Not that there haven't been issues. I remember them fighting about how to discipline one of their children. Stuff like that. Yelling on the part of the ENFj. But overall, it's been good.
IEI-Fe 4w3
I can't function at 100% and my flow dies once i meet at ISFp, and i am 100% serious about this and there is no exaggeration. My work and my social skills kinda go down a little which i think it is becuase this type helps me to calm down. I work best when a little Se is present which helps me gain more energy. Though I think I need their peaceful aura or i will act completely way out of control, I dont know if it's something I need for the rest of my life, where as LSI tends to calm me down in a logical sense.
I say no, and I will tell you why.
A female colleageu of mine, is ENFJ. She has an ISFP boyfriend. They started to live together, and are at this moment I guess 3 years together.
From what I've heard, they don't have many fights etc.
BUT.... everytime that I meet them (although it's not often) it is VISIBILY noticable that the ENFJ is in trouble. That supervision thing works on her nerves a lot. She suddenly doesn't look so happy anymore, as she does when she is at my work. I was surprised by the way it is just obvious visible that people suffer from a supervision relationship.
I have been in these kind of relationships myself, as supervisor and supervisee, and everytime it's pretty clear the supervisee feels in trouble, although supervisee finds the supervisor really attractive. (because of the potential they seem to have).
From all the relationships I could choose from, being supervisee is last on my list. Nonetheless, I have to admit that a supervisor is always really attracting. Which is the trap you shouldn't fall for.
I say, why clinge to your supervisor, when there are many better choices.
Well that's it, I said my thing :-)
lol
Personally I have a good number of friends who are SEI. My boss from work is SEI and we get along great. There are some awkward moments, and I do "feel supervised" sometimes, even though in terms of his position of authority over me he is very unobtrusive, undemanding, and low-key, but it's not really a big deal. If I were to be very attracted to an SEI girl, and the circumstances were right, I would not hesitate to date her.
But, for a certainty, back then,
We loved so many, yet hated so much,
We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...
Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
Whilst our laughter echoed,
Under cerulean skies...
It has never been said that you can't get along great. That's the trap I'm talking about. What you describe makes perfectly sense, although I would like to add a sentence after: 'I would not hesitate to date her'
'And later find out that it makes me feel lower in rank, unworthy, a lesser person, the submissive one, the slave, at unease, nervous etc when I'm in a romantically relationship with my supervisor.'
@mpiazza000: don't expect the SLI relationship to work out great. Conflictors are mutual attractive in the beginning and dangerously conflicting in the end...
ahem. I've been married to my supervisee for nearly 15 years, thankyouverymuch. so yeah, you could say I've been "into" supervision relationships myself.
And yes, I'm quite close with my aunt.
Supervision isn't as bad as some people make it out to be. It's not ideal, socionically-speaking. And if my husband were to die, I wouldn't go LOOKING for a supervision relation. However, if I happened to find someone and it happened to be supervision, that wouldn't deter me either.
IEI-Fe 4w3
Depends mostly on how well you guys communicate. I know I have had good relationships with my illusion- ENFp. But the biggest opstacle I felt, was that we didn't talk much. If you can get past that.. through personal interests or something of that sort, then it can work. A few dates definitely couldn't hurt anything
Oh, myers briggs confusion again.
Yeah, supervisor relations.
Ugh.......
waste of time.
I went to an ENFj's house the other day and it was absolutely spotless. She was into white, the walls were white, the cupboards were white, the couch was white with white sheets. It was minimalist with shiny pans and photos of her childhood all over the place. I felt scared to death i was gonna rub some of my filth onto something or spill my beer. Is this related in some way to a polr?
I actually kind of a agree with Jarno here. When i asked about relationships back in the day i used to get the socionics answers about supervision etc. If you just say "of course have fun", i think its denying why we are here (or at least why im here). I dont know about that particular supervision much. I do know an ISFp-ENFj couple who have been together a year now they seem ok.
Should you? - Possibly not..
Could you? of course
ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin
I think so; at least in a sense. I also am very concerned with cleanliness -- in the sense that I try to make a mess; dirt and clutter really...worries me? I like everything clean (almost in an empty/sterile sense) so that I don't have to worry about cleaning, about making something dirty into something clean. Does that sort of make sense?
()
3w4-1w2-5w4 sx/sp
now im definitely going to look into EIE for my sis' sis in law. her and my mil are/were VERY much alike. this cleanliness issue as well.
and all this time i thought a Si PolR would manifest as not caring about those things and completely let them go.
It depends rather the person likes to protect his/her polr or not. Some SI polr really do care very much about their appearence but are very not naturally in tune to it so they over do it. I have seen ENTJ-Ni taking alot of care of their appearence and their health, and also EIE-FE tends to care alot about their health more so than EIE-Ni, I dont know how that works though but its just my observation on people with SI-polr.
thanks, i guess this is why the descriptions and stereotypes can be off and need to take many of these kinds of things into account. and i suppose why not to type based on them but the elements/functions themselves instead. for me, that's very hard, im kinda a stereotype person, even if i dont like them, they are what make the most sense to me. hubby and i have great funny names for all kinds of people we come across. not as a putdown but to help us refer and know what those people are like.
mpiazza000, if your house looks that pristine, i'm not sure dating an ISFp would work that well. my 2cents.
My EIE aunt used to be a nurse. She's really anal about health things and has a completely white kitchen. lol
IEI-Fe 4w3
I had a really surreal Si-polr experience which I'll tell you about:
I went over to this EIE-Fes house to buy some marijuana, and we ended up smoking a joint in his car outside his house. So then he gets hungry, and we go into his house. So we're in his room. His room had trash everywhere on the floor. Snot filled tissues, 3 different kinds of nutshells.. sunflower, pistachio, and more.. dirty socks and underwear all over the place. Probably an entire notebook worth of paper trash, wrappers; many of which had nasty secretions wiped onto them. little pieces of old food and shit all over the carpet. Skipping forward, we went up to his kitchen. His well equiped kitchen had about 30 dirty dishes piled up in the sink. He walked over to this crusted pot filled with spaghetti, which was sitting among the other dirty dishes. It had ground beef in it. He picked up the pot, smelled it, said "ah... still good", then filled it with some water and put it on the stove. About 10 minutes later he's like "I gota go to the bathroom". So I'm sitting there alone watching this pot on the stove, and I hear the gut wrenching sound of him hurling his guts out in the bathroom. Skipping ahead, we went down into his garage to smoke another bowl. His garage has about 12-13 pools of vomite on the concrete; and the whole garage has big wads of spit on the ground. Luckily I was wearing shoes.
There's more to the story, but that's the Si-polr part.
My EIE-Fe sister is about 120 pounds overweight and her house is also a complete wreck. She owns four small, obnoxious dogs who have pissed and shit their carpet so many times you're averted from even walking in socks.
I also knew an ISFj who had an EIE mother. She told me utter horror stories of her mothers house. Basically, that the entire house is like a maze of crap piled half up to the ceiling, and hasn't been cleaned in years. You can easily find three year old bags of burger king, according to her. She says it literally has never been cleaned, and that going in there is experiencing a new form of smell you never thought could exist.
The other day my EIE-Ni aunt brought down about, no joke, 30 tupperwear containers which had apparently been accumulating underneath her bed. Every one of them was filled with the remains of butter lathered popcorn. Some of them looked up to a year old, all were really crusted and nasty.
...
whoa, that's disgusting!
IEI-Fe 4w3
yeah it was pretty intense
I have other non-romantic relationships and before I married my husband, I had several romantic ones as well. Those all gave me a good sampling, thanks. There was a thread on this in beta recently. In any case, my point is that you shouldn't be so quick to dismiss the potential of a relationship based on socionics alone.
IEI-Fe 4w3
yeah, that was mil too. when i took care of her and she came out of her room in the afternoons, if ONE thing was on the counter, the looks of disgust and guilt...THAT was the stress i lost 20lbs over. hubby had to take over her care, she COULD NOT stand me and i COULD NOT stand her, as much as i still loved her. hubby knew how to let it roll off his back. i just wanted to strangle her. lol
edit: i just want to say that i respected my mil enuf to get away from her to allow her last days to be what she wanted them to be. i appreciate and understand her more now, more than ever...
i dated one for years and i'd say they can expand your mind but they can also leave you vulnerable. because despite the fact they supervise us...they can still be opportunistic and just not our dual. sometimes i think too in romantic supervision relationships the supervisor takes on too much and the supervisee gets enabled.
wow the extremes of Si PoLR. I think I'm healthy though. I do get an accumulating sink and my workspaces gradually get more and more messy, but every once in a while I just clean it up. I think it's all thanks to my ILI husband though. He likes things clean and empty, so I try not to make too much of a mess. I was pretty messy when I was living alone, but now that I've been living alone for a month I've been very clean. I make my bed every morning and usually wash my dishes after each meal.
EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
E3 (probably 3w4)
Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!
Old blog: http://firsttimeinusa.blogspot.com/
New blog: http://having-a-kid.blogspot.com/
I think an ENFJ-ISFP can be a fun relationship. One that organizes fun and the one that goes along with it. I think Introverts as Supervisors works better than Extroverts working as Supervisors.
Much better and rewarding than an ENFJ with an INTP. I've met a couple of those ENFJ-INTP pairings...the ENFJ makes lemonade out of lemons while the INTP is just staring away.