Originally Posted by
Jem
Oh okay - I see what you mean. I do those sorts of things, but I wouldn't think of them as calculating. They're a more natural and honest form of communication for me than speaking. For example, if I went off and sat alone somewhere, that would be because I felt like being alone (c: ... but if someone approached me, then I'd try to be friendly though I'm probably not in the mood. I don't see why you view that sort of thing as being calculating - it seems pretty much the opposite to me. I think you may view us as being more complex than we are. (c: Admittedly, that sort of hot and cold behaviour I wouldn't exhibit with people I have a comfortable, stable relationship with ... but when I do, it's because my feelings are honestly hot, then cold - so I'm showing that. lol The extent of my strategy in situations like that is "Oh no - I was too friendly with him - now he probably thinks blah blah, so I'll try to pull back next time" - it's like an interaction by interaction thing - certainly not some overriding strategy I've mapped out. I pretty much just take it as it comes, and any vague plans I have (like resolving to pull back or whatever) usually fly out the window when we're actually there together anyway lol - I can't help it - and I just go by feel. He's too friendly or something (c: - so I'm a bit distant. He's a bit distant, so I'm more friendly. It's just about keeping the relationship balanced. Maybe there's some sort of strategy to that behaviour ... but it's pretty innate and basic IMO.