How much do you care?Originally Posted by redbaron
How much do you care?
whoa, you changed your avatar. it's weird.
I care quite a bit and I think he does too. there's some history there and when you're my age, it's not that easy to make meaningful connections with people so you hold on to the friendships that mean something. We share a lot of similar interests--some that none of my other friends share. But, you know, I'm a big girl and I can deal with it. I just thought it was a little odd--saying it was over and then acting all friendly as if nothing had changed and then ignoring me and then acting all friendly again and then ignoring me. I dunno. But I think Jem had some really good insights that are helping me think about what may be going on with him.
IEI-Fe 4w3
You should see some of the other ones I found.
Strange. I remember myself thinking something similar recently. I don't think I'm nearly as old as you though.I care quite a bit and I think he does too. there's some history there and when you're my age, it's not that easy to make meaningful connections with people so you hold on to the friendships that mean something. We share a lot of similar interests--some that none of my
*shrug*other friends share. But, you know, I'm a big girl and I can deal with it. I just thought it was a little odd--saying it was over and then acting all friendly as if nothing had changed and then ignoring me and then acting all friendly again and then ignoring me. I dunno. But I think Jem had some really good insights that are helping me think about what may be going on with him.
I've done exactly that behaviour in the past, so it doesn't seem that strange to me.
To me the girl I was acting that way towards .. she seemed kind of clingy/needy. And I didn't feel like I was that invested in her. And sometimes I was quite negative towards her.
She said something about me "changing" and that I used to be a lot more "patient" with her, and that I'd "changed" and that she didn't like being around me when I was "arguementative" / "domineering" / "controlling". And that she didn't know what to "expect".
It went something like that at least. It's a bit foggy .. in my mind.
I was drinking a lot .. stressed out a lot ... She said something like I could be loud and obnoxious.. .didn't know when to stop .. Could say things that "really hurt" to her, and that from most people they didn't even know what to say to hurt them .. but from me it'd really sink in and make her feel really bad about herself ... etc etc.
Actually now that I recollect, that sounds more than just cold/indifferent.
Anyway .. I haven't seen her for a while .. but things calmed down a lot. I don't see her very often .. but when I do it's always positive. She's got a boyfriend who is always nice to her .. and some of the old issues like me speaking up about things she did and her boyfriend joining in .. and her deciding that she was being ganged up on .. went away ..
Actually the last time I saw her, she was saying something about me being forceful or something .. and how she couldn't get people to do things that they didn't want to do.
It's like in a way she seemed kind of reluctant .. like she was trying to get by .. and I could kind of push her, provoke her, prod her etc. But sometimes I took things a bit far.
And then looking at her boyfriend, it was like not only could he not really do that. But he was joining in with me. Making it seem like he was on my side rather than hers. And I didn't really stay "taking sides" normally...
But yeah .. some of the umm .. "negative" behaviour of mine, seemed to kind of have a bad effect on her. I probably pushed her into a lot more uncertainty/insecurity than her boyfriend. But at the same time, I kind of knew her well.
Oh well I'm ranting and raving. good luck
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