This just sounds like MEN with jealous SOs moreso than any particular personality type issue.
He probably didn't really want to cut off communication with you, so he's ambivalent about how to react when he does see you. ie: if he's too warm, he might begin to feel like he wants to initiate contact again (and encourage you), if he's too cold, he worries you'll feel hurt. So he just acts out his ambivalence with the warm-cool thing.
I think us IEIs tend to take responsibility for other people's reactions to us, when really it's not our problem (at least when we're being sincere). I've absolutely been in similar straits to what you're describing and it really sucks.
All you're responsible for is your own consistency of feeling. You still care for him, so why pretend you don't? Although it's difficult to not feel hurt with the push-pull dynamic, you're not really obliged to make it easier for him. However, would it be easier for YOU to just be superficially congenial and cut off any extended conversation? Does having these occasional brief connections just making you want more? Honestly, I'm just throwing out questions... I tend to want to keep the connection with someone I like regardless of whether it's "good" for me by any standard. But, in your case, he's set up the condition and you are honoring it because you're being sensitive to his situation.
It seems to me that in cases like this, what's required is an adjustment on my part.