This was in the thread about typing Riella's uncle, but it was turning into a threadjack so I want to ask people this here. And FDG said some of his experience followed this and some didn't, and what I forgot to say was that it wasn't something I thought was 100%, because I think Socionics is more about tendencies than behaviors that always happen, but I think it's a strong tendency and would like to hear what other people think. Also, I'm a bit worried that I think a lot of people here are mistyped and have probably mistyped other people they know, so I wouldn't expect to hear it fit 100% with people's experience because even if it were 100% true that would require that people had typed people they knew 100% accurately, which is just plain not likely around here.

Anyway, I was talking in this thread about parents who value Se, and how it seems to me that they are more "hands on" in their parenting, and are stricter in general.

They worry more about their kids doing the right thing and obedience is at least to some extent important to them. I do not see that among Alpha and Delta parents. Obedience is not something I worry about in the slightest.

My ISFj brother, for instance, is very concerned about his kids growing up properly and really feels they need close guidance to do that, and sees "hands off" parenting as almost neglectful. His girlfriend is ESTj and she doesn't punish her kids at all, and that drives him crazy. I will sometimes very gently punish my daughter, and he thinks I don't do enough, but his girlfriend won't take away privileges, use time outs, nothing. My husband is the same. He won't do diddly as far as discipline goes. I'm the disciplinarian around here, and let me tell you there isn't a lot of punishment in our house from me either. We're very hands off.

I'm not saying my brother is cruel, because he isn't. He's a very loving parent. He does believe in occasional spanking, but his girlfriend was so taken aback by it that he stopped. He will still give his kids time outs, have them sit in the corner, take away privileges, etc. His feeling is that kids who aren't punished will go wild and become brats. My ENTj/ENFj parents had the same parenting values. Even the Se-valuing friends I have in my circle of hippie friends, who are generally more lax on parenting, have very strict rules and restrict toys and tv shows they watch, are very picky about what their kids eat, etc. There is just a very different idea of what "good parenting" is, and I really do think it falls to whether the parent values Se or not. Se = "hands on" and Si = "hands off".

Almost everyone I know is a parent - that's who I hang out with - and I see this trend over and over again. I'd be interested in hearing other people's experiences with parenting/observing parents and Se/Si valuing to see if anyone else's experiences are similar.