Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
Oh, and don't be fooled by all this talk of rowdiness and personal jests, etc; this is a "stereotype," a common manifestation of group behavior. I myself am not a fan of big, rowdy parties and crap like that; I was for a very short period of my life, but I got over it pretty quickly. As far as social life goes, I like having friends in a lot of places, giving me the opportunity to socialize with whomever I like, but I am prone to developing strong bonds with a tightly-knit group, sometimes of no more than 2 or 3 people, whenever I settle down in a place for an extended period of time. I like socializing in a more intimate atmosphere where people can share their life experiences and their views, how they see things. I enjoy lengthy conversations about life visions, worldviews, plans to make something happen, artistic endeavors, adventures, spiritual experiences, defining moments in life, things that are "sacred," and the like.

I get absolutely nothing from superficial conversations in which people simply "update" each other about their pointless day-to-day goings on in life: "So Shirley threw a fit at me and Bob yesterday...Did you see Jim's new rims on his car?...I had cramps when I got out of bed today...Sometimes I wish Shirley wasn't such an angry bitch..." I think these kinds of things can be appreciated deeply by the individuals who experience them (for serious; sometimes I get more out of standing up and looking out my window than a long philosophical rant with a buddy), and I love talking to people about their personal lives if they need an ear or someone to give them advice, but just listening to people important-ify the stupid shit that happens on a daily basis, to me, seems ridiculous. This is what made me so tired of big parties: I got sick of having to come up with stupid, pointless shit to talk about with people who I had already shared most of my interesting stories with, who didn't have any interesting stories or thought they were too "personal" to tell me, with whom I couldn't share my more personal thoughts for fear of offending or freaking them out. When I try to talk about things that interest me in a "light" social setting, someone usually reacts with thick-necked chortled laughter and a "Whoa buddy, that's deep..." which causes me to roll my eyes, because they obviously think I'm trying to be impressive or magnanimous or something, when, really, I just want to talk about what's interesting to me.
This...is me. And yes, I was completely thrown by the 'group' setting idea, since I have always had roving friends in loose networks and a close-knit group of 3 or 4 really close friends. And when we're in a social situation, idolatrie and I tend to 'hold court' or 'grandstand' where we essentially perform for other people - not deliberately, but we just get carried away with telling stories and making jokes and other people sort of watch us, laughing, but not really joining in. We want them to join in, but I guess we're pretty happy to entertain as well.