Questions for EIEs-ENFjs about leading Fe function

[strrrng]

lol, she's just calmer than you. maybe it's all that coffee you drink.

lol, maybe

4. My default mode is to be civil, welcoming and conciliatory. However, on occasion, if I think it's 'appropriate', I will make an 'inappropriate' comment that's rude or snappy or sharp, just to shift the gears of the discussion. I teach casually and my method often shocks people, because it usually involves teasing or mocking the students, writing sarcastic comments on their papers, interspersed with running commentary on what I think as I'm reading their writing. A lot of other teachers/tutors are just warm and accepting - but I think students are so placid about making mistakes that you need to grab their attention. I can be sharp and critical where I think it's warranted and then change back to warm when I think they've heard the message. I always thought the warm, diplomatic, 'everything you do is great' teachers were Fe-valuing - now I'm definitely reassessing.

This really makes me think ENFj, and just beta in general. It's classic beta attitude - using emotional tactics (Fe) to influence others and their actions (Se). The way you talk about "grabbing their attention" and waking them up from their scholastic placidity suggests EIE: you care about them, but you're gonna do what you think is best for them in the end (ends> means -- beta) instead of just being nice to mitigate them in the present moment (which tends to be a them with SiFe or SiFi). The attitude of the other teachers more closely resembles alpha/delta.

[unefille]

@unefille: most of what you are describing does not conflict with being IEE, I think. I think it's strange that you question your former type by comparing it to EIE. If you would have considered ILE or something from the Delta quadra, that would have made more sense.

I have a question for you: your questions so far evolve around social interaction. What is it you do when you spend a significant amount of time alone?

Hmm, I'm considering EIE (and possibly IEI) largely because it's been suggested to me by quite a few people that EIE is how I across. I think it's only fair to make a fair effort looking into the possibility - it's unlikely my mind would have gone here, on its own. I have considered ILE, but Fi PoLR and Ti ego is fairly unlikely, IME.

What am I like alone?

I'm not particularly fond of being alone. I read, I write, I will paint - I will try to find activities to pass the time. I go online (as you can see) and sometimes I go crazy on wikipedia, learning new information. A lot of what was said about IEEs and the 'information hunt' and wanting to absorb a lot of new information and knowledge really resonates with me. Too much time alone, entertaining myself, though and I can get very...lost. I feel myself sort of sinking, with nothing there to do or occupy myself with. I talk to myself quite a bit (the curse of being an only child!), but even that gets old. Time sort of stops having meaning because nothing is really happening. Days kind of meld together. I can feel myself sinking. With weeks alone, everything actually loses colour and becomes a lot more 'grey' and I need company and conversation to jolt me out of it.

I love to travel, but I could never go to foreign places on my own. I need at least one, good companion to come with me. Then, I also have someone to shared the stories with. People are a big part of my life. As big as theories/ideas.

This really makes me think ENFj, and just beta in general. It's classic beta attitude - using emotional tactics (Fe) to influence others and their actions (Se). The way you talk about "grabbing their attention" and waking them up from their scholastic placidity suggests EIE: you care about them, but you're gonna do what you think is best for them in the end (ends> means -- beta) instead of just being nice to mitigate them in the present moment (which tends to be a them with SiFe or SiFi). The attitude of the other teachers more closely resembles alpha/delta.

I'm seeing where this is going, but this would probably make it even more Beta: when I teach, I put on voices to read out literary texts and 'perform' them for the students. I will say provocative things to shock them, because I think it makes them engage. I also try to include everyone in the 'class environment', though if I can see that a student wants to be left alone, I leave them alone. I always encourage them to share their opinions, but I won't hesitate to tell them they're wrong. I think that encourages more frankness and respects the student's intellect more.

[consentingadult]

Hmm, I'm considering EIE (and possibly IEI) largely because it's been suggested to me by quite a few people that EIE is how I across. I think it's only fair to make a fair effort looking into the possibility - it's unlikely my mind would have gone here, on its own. I have considered ILE, but Fi PoLR and Ti ego is fairly unlikely, IME.

What am I like alone?

I'm not particularly fond of being alone. I read, I write, I will paint - I will try to find activities to pass the time. I go online (as you can see) and sometimes I go crazy on wikipedia, learning new information. A lot of what was said about IEEs and the 'information hunt' and wanting to absorb a lot of new information and knowledge really resonates with me. Too much time alone, entertaining myself, though and I can get very...lost. I feel myself sort of sinking, with nothing there to do or occupy myself with. I talk to myself quite a bit (the curse of being an only child!), but even that gets old. Time sort of stops having meaning because nothing is really happening. Days kind of meld together. I can feel myself sinking. With weeks alone, everything actually loses colour and becomes a lot more 'grey' and I need company and conversation to jolt me out of it.

I love to travel, but I could never go to foreign places on my own. I need at least one, good companion to come with me. Then, I also have someone to shared the stories with. People are a big part of my life. As big as theories/ideas.

I've been discussing this with my therpist today, who told me that this information hunt is basically a form of hoarding, but because I do it too much, I invoke depressions in the long run. Sounds like you are doing the same.

Sharing stories is important to IEEs, because they really do not know what to think of something until they have told someone about it, perhaps even coming to the conclusion that their thoughts were erroneous. I doubt an EIE has such a need to resolve this kind of insecurities, but perhaps a confident EIE can talk about that.

Also, do not forget that people are capable of playing roles if the situation asks for it. As a teacher, playing a forceful EIE role is sometimes more effective than being yourself, at last short term.

I hope this helps in deciding upon your type.

[unefille]

Sharing stories is important to IEEs, because they really do not know what to think of something until they have told someone about it, perhaps even coming to the conclusion that their thoughts were erroneous. I doubt an EIE has such a need to resolve this kind of insecurities, but perhaps a confident EIE can talk about that.

Hmm. I'm pretty certain I don't want someone to share the story with in order to have them clarify what I thought of the events. I travelled with idolatrie and sometimes we're telling the stories and she's got a different spin on something, and I don't hesitate to correct her. I don't doubt my own memories or what actually happened.

I enjoy telling stories, generally. I find it entertaining, for both myself and other people. I like sharing experiences with people because then they also become a source of memory for me. Like once, walking down a street with the sun shining, I was suddenly reminded of some happy things that took place around the same time the year before, because of the weather. And I could call someone who went on that trip with me to talk to them about it, which made it nice, because I like that shared sense of remembrance.

I'm definitely keeping the 'playing the role of teacher' thing in mind, but different teachers, valuing different things, would probably affect different personas.

[strrrng]

I like sharing experiences with people because then they also become a source of memory for me. Like once, walking down a street with the sun shining, I was suddenly reminded of some happy things that took place around the same time the year before, because of the weather. And I could call someone who went on that trip with me to talk to them about it, which made it nice, because I like that shared sense of remembrance.

Again, this feels more beta - specifically, Ni > Si. When Si people recollect events, it tends to have a detailed quality, as if they are experiencing it again. The way you described it points more to Ni, as their recollections of things tend to have a more abstract quality, as if they are experiencing the underlying vibe of it again.

For example: this morning I was awake, and I saw the school bus come. I have graduated high school, but when I looked at the school bus, my Ni immediately went back into the past and, combined with Fe vibes, placed me in the "mind state" from this past school year. I was able to feel the underlying vibes of where I was at, see my perspective on things, etc.

[Gilly]

Yes; I think when Si-valuing types recount past events they probably tend to do more sensory association: what the sun felt like on your skin, the specific way the light was playing on water; with Ni-valuing types, I think there tends to be a more nostalgic quality, as if everything comes back in a rush, all at once, and you get a kind of summation of the emotional experience of the "time-space" that is being recalled.

[strrrng]

Yes; I think when Si-valuing types recount past events they probably tend to do more sensory association: what the sun felt like on your skin, the specific way the light was playing on water; with Ni-valuing types, I think there tends to be a more nostalgic quality, as if everything comes back in a rush, all at once, and you get a kind of summation of the emotional experience of the "time-space" that is being recalled.

FO SHO NIGGA

[unefille]

Yes; I think when Si-valuing types recount past events they probably tend to do more sensory association: what the sun felt like on your skin, the specific way the light was playing on water; with Ni-valuing types, I think there tends to be a more nostalgic quality, as if everything comes back in a rush, all at once, and you get a kind of summation of the emotional experience of the "time-space" that is being recalled.

Yes! Like I'm walking somewhere I spent a lot of time in the past and suddenly, all this remembered feeling comes rushing back. I feel the exact despair, joy, misery I felt when I was last there: places especially have a really strong emotional resonance for me. And sometimes, certain sounds suddenly transport me from the present into the past and there is this really strong sense of nostalgia that can be quite overwhelming.

[consentingadult]

Hmm. I'm pretty certain I don't want someone to share the story with in order to have them clarify what I thought of the events. I travelled with idolatrie and sometimes we're telling the stories and she's got a different spin on something, and I don't hesitate to correct her. I don't doubt my own memories or what actually happened.

this is not quite what I meant. What I meant was, that once you have shared a story you are excited or troubled about, you have 'objectified' it, even when the other person says nothing at all. Once told, it becomes part of the outer world so you can look at it more objectively, perhaps you apply some minor corrections, and then you can let it go and be done with. But perhaps this is too much of an abstract story. I often tell people: words are like little boats we use to carry over emotions from one person to another. So it's a sort of emotional release thing. You need other people for that. Now perhaps you can imagine, from a theoretical perspective, that a base-Fe person has way better control over their emotion expression and thus a lesser need to use other people for emotional release. I hypothesize that a base-Fe person can do emotional release all by themselves, privately. But his won't help you, as it is just a hypothesis

Edit: basically I'm saying IEEs release emotions to get rid of them, EIEs to solidify them. Does that make sense?

I enjoy telling stories, generally. I find it entertaining, for both myself and other people. I like sharing experiences with people because then they also become a source of memory for me. Like once, walking down a street with the sun shining, I was suddenly reminded of some happy things that took place around the same time the year before, because of the weather. And I could call someone who went on that trip with me to talk to them about it, which made it nice, because I like that shared sense of remembrance.

This sounds like Ni to me, but doesn't have to contradict IEE either, because occasionally, IxEs privately get hit by flashes of Ni too. The shared remembrance thing sounds like Fe to me.

I'm definitely keeping the 'playing the role of teacher' thing in mind, but different teachers, valuing different things, would probably affect different personas.

Exactly, but IEEs have Fe and Ni in the id block, so are capable of playing that role and look like EIEs.

I'm not helping you out very much, I'm afraid.

[unefille]

Edit: basically I'm saying IEEs release emotions to get rid of them, EIEs to solidify them. Does that make sense?

I'm not helping you out very much, I'm afraid.

I think it does, but I'm not sure what I do, or what I'm doing exactly. I guess, I don't really need to expel my emotions. I've noticed that some people, when they're upset, have to let it out. I have no problem holding it in and controlling what I'm feeling. I try to be considerate about whom I let out my feelings to. I talk about my feelings a lot as well, not in a dramatic way and not to everyone, but I do, and I do it because the process of talking about it helps me clarify how I feel about someone. Whether or not I actually like them or dislike them. It helps me sort out all the emotions and figure out the message underneath.

I think one of the reasons I was so attracted to IEE in the first place was the impression that EIEs are quick to judge and gauge 'enemies'. Perhaps this impression is wrong. I often don't have strong permanent feelings about people, which I associated with the fluidity of Ne+Fi. I have sharp impressions of people and I can get upset at people, but a bad encounter will not make me think they are a bad person who I don't like. I can strongly like and dislike someone in the MOMENT reacting to them, but I don't use that impression as the basis for how I see them as a person or how I value them.

I appreciate your assistance.

Edit to add: Ok, I lie. Sometimes I do talk about my feelings in a VERY dramatic way. After all, I don't want to bore the other person. But mostly because it's fun to, sometimes, make crazy expressions and say outlandish things and make people laugh when talking about something otherwise too serious to contemplate sharing.

[consentingadult]

I think it does, but I'm not sure what I do, or what I'm doing exactly. I guess, I don't really need to expel my emotions. I've noticed that some people, when they're upset, have to let it out. I have no problem holding it in and controlling what I'm feeling. I try to be considerate about whom I let out my feelings to. I talk about my feelings a lot as well, not in a dramatic way and not to everyone, but I do, and I do it because the process of talking about it helps me clarify how I feel about someone. Whether or not I actually like them or dislike them. It helps me sort out all the emotions and figure out the message underneath.

I think one of the reasons I was so attracted to IEE in the first place was the impression that EIEs are quick to judge and gauge 'enemies'. Perhaps this impression is wrong. I often don't have strong permanent feelings about people, which I associated with the fluidity of Ne+Fi. I have sharp impressions of people and I can get upset at people, but a bad encounter will not make me think they are a bad person who I don't like. I can strongly like and dislike someone in the MOMENT reacting to them, but I don't use that impression as the basis for how I see them as a person or how I value them.

I appreciate your assistance.

Edit to add: Ok, I lie. Sometimes I do talk about my feelings in a VERY dramatic way. After all, I don't want to bore the other person. But mostly because it's fun to, sometimes, make crazy expressions and say outlandish things and make people laugh when talking about something otherwise too serious to contemplate sharing.

i hear you say things that apply to IEEs and things that I relate to EIEs and sometimes even contradicting things. I sense you are an Fi valuer, but Fe as well. Now I wonder which one is authentic and which one adopted.

Personally I have a strong sense of your type. The question is of course: how do we get you to figure out your own type in confident way. Perhaps I'll think of something later.