Questions for EIEs-ENFjs about leading Fe function

[unefille]

Hmm, if I'm Beta, then in past I've mislabeled a lot of my behaviour (possibly due to the myth of 'Fake Fe') so I'm just to going to write down some things I do/have done.

1. I'm not comfortable with expressing how I feel about someone if I feel like I'm being emotionally manipulated into it. If someone says: 'I really like you'; 'I love you'; 'You're one of my closest friends' and I can't reciprocate the sentiment, I will usually just smile and say something neutral but complimentary, or make a wisecrack in response. My 'lukewarm' responses have often resulted in problems maintaining female friends as I was growing up, because they felt I was holding them at an emotional arms-length.

2. Its common practice amongst the people I know now to kiss each other in greeting. This isn't a practice that I was familiar with until I started university and I at first I found it very affected. I don't mind it now, but I often won't initiate a greeting kiss until something internal changes and I feel there is a relationship between us. This has, on occassion, led to situations where people position themselves near me for a kiss, and instead I simply open conversation, leaving them slightly lost. However, if they initiate, I will respond warmly, always.

3. One of my closest friends went to Europe for the summer. We arranged to go to the Art Gallery when she got back. Upon seeing me, she opened her arms wide and tried to engulf me in a happy hug. I didn't feel like it, so I side-stepped her, slipped my arm through hers and said: 'It's too warm to hug', which made her laugh, at least.

4. My default mode is to be civil, welcoming and conciliatory. However, on occasion, if I think it's 'appropriate', I will make an 'inappropriate' comment that's rude or snappy or sharp, just to shift the gears of the discussion. I teach casually and my method often shocks people, because it usually involves teasing or mocking the students, writing sarcastic comments on their papers, interspersed with running commentary on what I think as I'm reading their writing. A lot of other teachers/tutors are just warm and accepting - but I think students are so placid about making mistakes that you need to grab their attention. I can be sharp and critical where I think it's warranted and then change back to warm when I think they've heard the message. I always thought the warm, diplomatic, 'everything you do is great' teachers were Fe-valuing - now I'm definitely reassessing.

[consentingadult]

@unefille: most of what you are describing does not conflict with being IEE, I think. I think it's strange that you question your former type by comparing it to EIE. If you would have considered ILE or something from the Delta quadra, that would have made more sense.

I have a question for you: your questions so far evolve around social interaction. What is it you do when you spend a significant amount of time alone?