Questions for EIEs-ENFjs about leading Fe function

[Mea]

Eh, these behaviors sound more like IEI.

i agree.

[strrrng]

i read snegledmaca's post in the IEE thread and i type the way he said, in relation to other people i know or know of. you remind me tons of esper. IF she is IEI, then that's why i say IEI. and there is a possibility in my mind she is LSI, a lot of Ti going on. calm Ti, not like strrrng's jaunt of "being" LSI. you are calm about your Ti like her. i believe you and her are the same type, whatever that is.

esper is IEI, lol. As am I - it was just a "jaunt," as you put it.

[dbmmama]

esper is IEI, lol. As am I - it was just a "jaunt," as you put it.

lol, she's just calmer than you. maybe it's all that coffee you drink.

[strrrng]

lol, she's just calmer than you. maybe it's all that coffee you drink.

lol, maybe

4. My default mode is to be civil, welcoming and conciliatory. However, on occasion, if I think it's 'appropriate', I will make an 'inappropriate' comment that's rude or snappy or sharp, just to shift the gears of the discussion. I teach casually and my method often shocks people, because it usually involves teasing or mocking the students, writing sarcastic comments on their papers, interspersed with running commentary on what I think as I'm reading their writing. A lot of other teachers/tutors are just warm and accepting - but I think students are so placid about making mistakes that you need to grab their attention. I can be sharp and critical where I think it's warranted and then change back to warm when I think they've heard the message. I always thought the warm, diplomatic, 'everything you do is great' teachers were Fe-valuing - now I'm definitely reassessing.

This really makes me think ENFj, and just beta in general. It's classic beta attitude - using emotional tactics (Fe) to influence others and their actions (Se). The way you talk about "grabbing their attention" and waking them up from their scholastic placidity suggests EIE: you care about them, but you're gonna do what you think is best for them in the end (ends> means -- beta) instead of just being nice to mitigate them in the present moment (which tends to be a them with SiFe or SiFi). The attitude of the other teachers more closely resembles alpha/delta.

[unefille]

@unefille: most of what you are describing does not conflict with being IEE, I think. I think it's strange that you question your former type by comparing it to EIE. If you would have considered ILE or something from the Delta quadra, that would have made more sense.

I have a question for you: your questions so far evolve around social interaction. What is it you do when you spend a significant amount of time alone?

Hmm, I'm considering EIE (and possibly IEI) largely because it's been suggested to me by quite a few people that EIE is how I across. I think it's only fair to make a fair effort looking into the possibility - it's unlikely my mind would have gone here, on its own. I have considered ILE, but Fi PoLR and Ti ego is fairly unlikely, IME.

What am I like alone?

I'm not particularly fond of being alone. I read, I write, I will paint - I will try to find activities to pass the time. I go online (as you can see) and sometimes I go crazy on wikipedia, learning new information. A lot of what was said about IEEs and the 'information hunt' and wanting to absorb a lot of new information and knowledge really resonates with me. Too much time alone, entertaining myself, though and I can get very...lost. I feel myself sort of sinking, with nothing there to do or occupy myself with. I talk to myself quite a bit (the curse of being an only child!), but even that gets old. Time sort of stops having meaning because nothing is really happening. Days kind of meld together. I can feel myself sinking. With weeks alone, everything actually loses colour and becomes a lot more 'grey' and I need company and conversation to jolt me out of it.

I love to travel, but I could never go to foreign places on my own. I need at least one, good companion to come with me. Then, I also have someone to shared the stories with. People are a big part of my life. As big as theories/ideas.

This really makes me think ENFj, and just beta in general. It's classic beta attitude - using emotional tactics (Fe) to influence others and their actions (Se). The way you talk about "grabbing their attention" and waking them up from their scholastic placidity suggests EIE: you care about them, but you're gonna do what you think is best for them in the end (ends> means -- beta) instead of just being nice to mitigate them in the present moment (which tends to be a them with SiFe or SiFi). The attitude of the other teachers more closely resembles alpha/delta.

I'm seeing where this is going, but this would probably make it even more Beta: when I teach, I put on voices to read out literary texts and 'perform' them for the students. I will say provocative things to shock them, because I think it makes them engage. I also try to include everyone in the 'class environment', though if I can see that a student wants to be left alone, I leave them alone. I always encourage them to share their opinions, but I won't hesitate to tell them they're wrong. I think that encourages more frankness and respects the student's intellect more.

[consentingadult]

Hmm, I'm considering EIE (and possibly IEI) largely because it's been suggested to me by quite a few people that EIE is how I across. I think it's only fair to make a fair effort looking into the possibility - it's unlikely my mind would have gone here, on its own. I have considered ILE, but Fi PoLR and Ti ego is fairly unlikely, IME.

What am I like alone?

I'm not particularly fond of being alone. I read, I write, I will paint - I will try to find activities to pass the time. I go online (as you can see) and sometimes I go crazy on wikipedia, learning new information. A lot of what was said about IEEs and the 'information hunt' and wanting to absorb a lot of new information and knowledge really resonates with me. Too much time alone, entertaining myself, though and I can get very...lost. I feel myself sort of sinking, with nothing there to do or occupy myself with. I talk to myself quite a bit (the curse of being an only child!), but even that gets old. Time sort of stops having meaning because nothing is really happening. Days kind of meld together. I can feel myself sinking. With weeks alone, everything actually loses colour and becomes a lot more 'grey' and I need company and conversation to jolt me out of it.

I love to travel, but I could never go to foreign places on my own. I need at least one, good companion to come with me. Then, I also have someone to shared the stories with. People are a big part of my life. As big as theories/ideas.

I've been discussing this with my therpist today, who told me that this information hunt is basically a form of hoarding, but because I do it too much, I invoke depressions in the long run. Sounds like you are doing the same.

Sharing stories is important to IEEs, because they really do not know what to think of something until they have told someone about it, perhaps even coming to the conclusion that their thoughts were erroneous. I doubt an EIE has such a need to resolve this kind of insecurities, but perhaps a confident EIE can talk about that.

Also, do not forget that people are capable of playing roles if the situation asks for it. As a teacher, playing a forceful EIE role is sometimes more effective than being yourself, at last short term.

I hope this helps in deciding upon your type.

[unefille]

Sharing stories is important to IEEs, because they really do not know what to think of something until they have told someone about it, perhaps even coming to the conclusion that their thoughts were erroneous. I doubt an EIE has such a need to resolve this kind of insecurities, but perhaps a confident EIE can talk about that.

Hmm. I'm pretty certain I don't want someone to share the story with in order to have them clarify what I thought of the events. I travelled with idolatrie and sometimes we're telling the stories and she's got a different spin on something, and I don't hesitate to correct her. I don't doubt my own memories or what actually happened.

I enjoy telling stories, generally. I find it entertaining, for both myself and other people. I like sharing experiences with people because then they also become a source of memory for me. Like once, walking down a street with the sun shining, I was suddenly reminded of some happy things that took place around the same time the year before, because of the weather. And I could call someone who went on that trip with me to talk to them about it, which made it nice, because I like that shared sense of remembrance.

I'm definitely keeping the 'playing the role of teacher' thing in mind, but different teachers, valuing different things, would probably affect different personas.

[strrrng]

Too much time alone, entertaining myself, though and I can get very...lost. I feel myself sort of sinking, with nothing there to do or occupy myself with. I talk to myself quite a bit (the curse of being an only child!), but even that gets old. Time sort of stops having meaning because nothing is really happening. Days kind of meld together. I can feel myself sinking. With weeks alone, everything actually loses colour and becomes a lot more 'grey' and I need company and conversation to jolt me out of it.

This has the spiritual, introspective undertone I would expect from a beta NF. An IEE would not be as likely to describe abstractions in such a subjective way, as their is object-based. It seemed like you were developing this inner image continually, which is what Ni (paired with Fe gives it the spiritual aspect) does.

I'm seeing where this is going, but this would probably make it even more Beta: when I teach, I put on voices to read out literary texts and 'perform' them for the students. I will say provocative things to shock them, because I think it makes them engage. I also try to include everyone in the 'class environment', though if I can see that a student wants to be left alone, I leave them alone. I always encourage them to share their opinions, but I won't hesitate to tell them they're wrong. I think that encourages more frankness and respects the student's intellect more.

Yes, this feels beta. You want to enliven the situation with Fe emotional displays through the creativity of Ni, involve the students in the group atmosphere, and I think due to strong Fi (unlike an ESTp who would push people more), you know where people are at emotionally and respect their states (not forcing kids to join in if they don't want to). And the last portion has an vibe to it.

Yes, the 'stealth dating' tactics. What is up with that? I feel like I'm being tricked into something - like there's a trap awaiting me and when I realise, it'll be too late and I'll be stuck, not wanting to hurt them, but wanting out. Say no to 'dating by stealth'.

Possibly unvalued Fi - wanting more clear cut answers and emotional directness with the relationship (FeSe).

YES. We get into no-holds barred, heated discussions that seem to scare the people around us. The truth is, we would never turn that style of discussion onto them unless we thought they could handle it, so there is really nothing to fear from us. If I have a point to prove, I will do everything, including drawing diagrams and using the most bizarre analogies to make the point. We get very...energetic in these debates.

This is how I am with my beta friends. People from other quadras think we're going over-the-top or w/e, but it's just normal to us.

Hahaha, I can get quite carried away sometimes when arguing/debating. I remember once I was 10 and my mother's friend, a high school Lit teacher gave me Robinson Crusoe to read. We had a really heated discussion after (I can't remember what I said - probably many stupid things: I was 10 after all), but I got really impatient at one point and said: 'LOOK. SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!' Ha, that shocked my mother quite a bit. Her friend didn't seem to mind - I think he found me sort of precocious.

You're beta, lol.