Crafting and image/persona

[guest32456]

You create an image/persona to show to people e.g. talented but tortured artist, reserved and proud Mr Darcy, compassionate and empathic nurse, independent and charismatic entrepreneur etc.

I've noticed that I did this quite a bit when I was younger. Now, I'm moving out of it.

Has anyone else noticed this? Where do you think it comes from? What did you do about it?

[Expat]

Originally, I'd have said that that was essentially blocked with . But, more recently, I think it may also be connected to blocked with (which is not very helpful, I know).

The first one is what happens when your sense of identity, self-worth, or even existence, is based on how you are reflected on others. That is to say, you're not a good or successful or unique person (whatever) if that's not how others generally see you. So, the roles you mentioned are sort of attempts to find a "reflection" that works, and with which you are also happy.

The second one is something I have noticed more recently. It's essentially about trying to establish your position of power, or ascendancy, in relation to specific individuals; a sort of competitiveness, say. So, for instance, if you can establish an ascendancy by focusing on your looks, you do it by "shifting gears" and focusing on your brains. In doing that, you sort of try to re-establish your persona, in a way.

[Ezra]

I think my friend Leon, an EIE, is a good example of the first case. Although he will never admit it, he relies on his image, even if it's "not for others" but to "remind [himself] that he is who he is". Clearly, in his case, there's some subconscious feelings based around self-worth being related to others.

Expat, can you please elaborate on the manifestation of this phenomenon in the SEE? What is an example of an SEE attempting to use an image or persona to further their own agenda e.g. an historical example?

[Expat]

Expat, can you please elaborate on the manifestation of this phenomenon in the SEE? What is an example of an SEE attempting to use an image or persona to further their own agenda e.g. an historical example?

Well it's not really an "image". It's more an attempt to shift an interaction, seen as a competition, to an area where the SEE feels s/he can have the "upper hand".

So, for instance. The same individual, a SEE, is interacting with a guy who's far wealthier than he, but it is all inherited wealth. So the SEE will instinctively shift into a sort of "role" as a self-made man while interacting with that particular guy.

Then that same SEE will interact with a guy who's actually worked far harder than the SEE, so the SEE will avoid that kind of discussion and shift into yet another role - perhaps that of a guy who also had social concerns. Etc etc.

The problem of giving historical example is that this is a more on-to-one effort, and often contradictory. But it's obvious from reading about Lyndon Johnson, for instance.

[Ezra]

I see. Interestingly, I relate to that. There have been times in my life when I've been talking to people, and I begin to fit whatever they are. It's normally very subtle, but it does happen.

[Expat]

Actually, this has a lot to do with why I first typed Franklin Roosevelt as EIE, and now I'm inclining towards SEE.

Those who interacted with him observed this phenomenon, and I saw it as evidence of EIE, but later - helped by a discussion with Rick - I realized that his was more like the SEE version.

[Suomea]

...

[ScarlettLux]

I used to do this a LOT too, and I think I still do. I agree with Expat that it does seem like quite a Beta NF quirk. I dunno, I enjoy changing myself depending on what new situation I'm entering, or what new people I'm meeting, etc.

I usually take on a certain "role" for myself based on say, a character from some novel/TV show/etc. that I really enjoy, relate to, or admire. I do this occasionally when I feel like I need a new identity, a new start to my life. To others it might seem fake, but to me, it's merely a refreshing change. I mean, I am still who I am, it's just that I begin displaying certain qualities of myself more, and I become a different person over time, so much so that it DOES become who I am. It's hard to explain =/

ETA: I also deeply resonate with the issue surrounding self-worth and having all of it based around how others see me, how I am reflected in others' eyes. Very true.