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This is wierd to me considering they are not completley different things. Both are words seperated by punctuation, however I can understand a period. between. them. Is for emphasis on each word. "...." is just a farther one of this trying to make up space in a post. And yes, you do....... this........ Go look at your posts. You seperate parts of sentences with plenty of periods. Infact I'd say over half of your posts have "..." placed convieniently somewhere in them. Going on with this, you asked why this appeases some people. And in the same way we can turn this question on you. The english language dosnt have repeating punctuation for a reason.Originally Posted by UDP
While i'm on this topic whats the point of having 4-5 lines between paragraphs?
My point about the difference is that I am not trying to emphasize each word.
Oh. My. God.
When I write like this: "So I was wondering....... about..... .....something the other day...", I am not trying to emphasize "about". That is what I mean by there being a difference.
I have a rather unique writing style, as you all know by now.
(in respons to: "And yes, you do....... this........ Go look at your posts". I never meant to imply that I didn't use ".......". But there is a different meaning behind them, as opposed to "writing. like. this.")
Having 4-5 lines between paragraphs, to me, is seperating bunches of thoughts. Systems of thoughts, groups of thoughts. Differnent subjects, different angles. I can see how... if you do not know my or are used to or understand my style, those things are somewhat odd, or weird.
I mean, I could ask you why you didn't use any line breaks in your last post, Zeia.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
Let my try to better explain myself
I agree that I do use "..........", and use them liberaly. As I said, I never intended to imply that I did not. I like using ".........". However,"...." is just a farther one of this trying to make up space in a post. And yes, you do....... this........ Go look at your posts. You seperate parts of sentences with plenty of periods. Infact I'd say over half of your posts have "..." placed convieniently somewhere in them
I don't understand what you are really saying in that. "a farther one of this" ? A farther one of what?"...." is just a farther one of this trying to make up space in a post.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
I did, but they come out as a seperate paragraphs much like formalized writing. However in the server's writing area tabs, (Nor five spaces) are recognized. I can understand one line to "seperate" thoughts, but 4-5 is overkill.Originally Posted by UDP
Oh.My.God. (Emphasis)Originally Posted by UDP
.....I Disagree.....
Both have a purpose, no? So there is a difference in purpose but not logically in what they actually are. They both serve something as forms of punctuation. While neither are correct and I highly dislike both of them their structure is similar. (A further use of one period to multiple ones for a different purpose)
Originally Posted by Zeia
So... you mean to say that "well, they're all just periods, so what's the difference" ?
You aren't really disagreeing with my point, I don't think. In your eyes, you see them all as just periods. That's fine. When I use them, though - "........" that variety, it has a much different meaning than simple dramatic emphasis. At least in my eyes.
I'm not trying to prove myself as right or anyone else being wrong. I'm just explaining myself so that people can, hopefully, understand me better.
Originally Posted by Zeia
As you wish.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
[quote]to sum it up - it's a one word sentance. a stop or a breather in between words for a light emphasis. a disbelief can cause stoping periods.Originally Posted by UDP
i use 3 dot trails. it allows me to start or end a thought without actually completing it. it invites the user to decide what the meaning of what i said actually means. starting with 3 dots ...cuts back to a story.When I write like this: "So I was wondering....... about..... .....something the other day...", I am not trying to emphasize "about". That is what I mean by there being a difference.
some people use a bunch of dashes between words. this breaks up thoughts in their head - often random thoughts - that have nothing to do with each other - but their period key might be broken from over use - therefore hyphens are used.
and yet other people dot their sentances with smiley faces, which is like a big yellow period, only with a smile. or in the case of this board, an odd black or white shape.
Originally Posted by gugu_ baba
Ethnomethodology~
Go hug someone you think would be uncomfortable with it. Also take note on gender/age/socioeconomic class of those that do more or less touching (ie. hugging, area between each other, eye contact length). As warning, do not do this in an elevator or anywhere unescapable. You will either get knocked in the jimmy, maced or beaten in the face. I'll give you a pattern hint tho... the more rational one is (and Im not talking socionics rationals in specific, altho there may be relation) the more space between people there will be. As a prime example, USA holds the longest distance of space between people due to the strong emphasis on the dollar of the value from rationalization. Interpersonalization is the opposing dichotomy in this pattern.
interesting post.
Is..... that a general recommendation?Go hug someone you think would be uncomfortable with it.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
*hides*
A personal project if you feel comfortable with it just to see for yourself everything you and them may feel to understand it all better. Ethnomethodolgy is beyond weird but it can also be really enlightening. But, if anyone does do this, please be careful. Make sure the scenario is safe.
=)
hmm....... okay. (edit - @ jadae's post my comment is directed)
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
I think capitalism can have value. Afterall, we are not a pure capitalist nation. Hell, there isnt even a real communist nation (true sense of it is hunter-gather and, well, I suppose some tribes still have that but it's super rare in #). The only thing that really bothers me about capitalist or meritocracy is that the current race is like the steroid beef-cake versus the paraplegic midget. I wouldnt mind it if the odds were more equitable in merit-based award. As far as, rationalization from capitalization, well, I promise you it will get stronger as areas of our nation merge into one another to form megalopolises. However, education is becoming more and more required and crime is lowering so... hopefully we can learn. I hope, at least. If not, you all have annoyingly weird people like me that encourage being interpersonal for balance =DOriginally Posted by maizemedley
[quote="maizemedley"]Plus, you've got more space to spread yourselves out in. Whenever I see Americans, they don't merely stand far apart from each other - they also stand as if they're straddling something, make expansive gestures, and talk in very loud voices. You try doing that in a little European alley that is only three feet wide, with nosey neighbours behind every second window... :wink:Originally Posted by Jadae
lol yes many can be like this. I cant relate though because my voice is rather soft baratone. But I have noted some extremely attention seeking voice + ego combos in my time that make me just want to in person.
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you display more viraginityOriginally Posted by Joy
yay, a new word learned every day. I had to look that one up =p
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=virago
Wait, that word is gender specific. So if a male is this then... it is somehow different? That seems silly =/
.
I definately like my space. I save that closeness pretty much for one person and lavish it on them. Even one on one though I need a bit of space to retreat to.
Oh but if someone is offering to give me a foot massage, I'm MUCH less picky.
I also just wanted to mention I tend to prefer the company of men as well but its has NOTHING to do with wanting attention..geez. In fact, if any try to give me girly type attention they usually get told to smarten up. I wanted to be treated as an equal but respected as a female as well. Talking about shagging women is probably not the best topic of choice when a girl is in the room.
I find I just don't have the same kind of discussions with women as I do with men. Women..we talk about stuff, what they did that day, who did what to who blah blah blah blah. With guys I get to have more opinionated type discussions about politics, social issues etc. I have met a few women I've been able to have these discussions with but it seems we are always a little on guard.
The type of attention I do like is in relation to my accomplishments. Someone flattering my appearance means little to me. In fact, if a guy was really flirty with me while I was trying to have an intelligent convo I'd be peeved.
I also dislike the whole ENTPs are masculin too. Again..geez. I liked the way someone put it in another thread. ENTPs are not girly...we are womanly. We aren't flirty and girly, we are not slaves to fashion etc. etc. but we are no less feminine than the giddy moron who is dressed to the nines.
Polly
ENTP
Originally Posted by Polly_G
Yeah, I've been through that one before...
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
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That is a pretty good theory and I would have to say in many ways I agree with it. It seems to fall out of the realm of personality type though and into the whole nurture area.
My father culturally comes from a vary stoic type background. He's Iroquois and Iroquois boys are raised not to show emotion..basically be the strong silent type. So between that and the military he was like a rock.
I can probably count on one hand how many times we've hugged. It definately feels awkward when we do. He showed his love in different ways...as an ISTP mostly it was deterring me from stuff to try to protect me but it never worked...thank goodness. He was/is also a good provider and there when we needed him but for emotional support, we went to our mother. Our father would not have wanted to deal with that type of stuff.
I'm not sure of the whys behind the touch thing but I know what it feels like when someone does it. I feel they've violated my personal space and have taken the choice, of whether or not I want to be touched by them, away from me. I find it pushy and assuming, qualities I try to prevent in myself so wouldn't really value in others.
Instead of thinking of it in terms of some don't like touch, we could also think of it terms as some need touch more. Its through touch they feel their connections while with others its more of mental thing. What do you think?
I chose who I bond with, and I have had close friends in my past I've felt very bonded with, but touch wasn't required to feel that closeness.
If someone who I hadn't atleast bonded with mentally tried to touch me, it would make me a bit uncomfortable. I wouldn't flip out, but I might stiffen up a bit.
I just don't have many touchy feely friends though. Maybe its cultural, who knows. We just tend to sit around casually and yak. Most of my close friends are guys though so there is also that added physical distance to keep things on that safe non-intimate level.
Its why, even when they have girlfriends, their girlfriends are not usually threatened by me. I keep things at a certain level and don't let things go any further. I will also go out of my way to assure the girfriend and make her feel just as accepted and respected so there aren't those jealousy issues.
Polly
ENTP
i don't know that i'm protecting myself from bonding exactly.
it's more like, i feel that touch is something i would rather do with someone i bond with. showing my caring and feeling is to me revealing a weak spot and is something i do not do without having bonded emotionally with the person.
conversely, i dislike touching or being touched by someone i have not bonded with, or do not wish to bond with, because a) i prefer it to be clear that there is no bond, b) touching without meaning is fake to me and c) i do not want, for lack of a better expression, to be 'bonded with' by someone i don't want to be connected to - you know those irritating people who latch onto you if you give the slightest encouragement? i guess in terms of option c, it does address the question of avoiding bonding. bonding involves emotional investment, trust, exposure of vulnerability. of course i would avoid for it to happen with just anybody.
I am not sure whether temperament makes a difference. I know an ISTJ whom not only hates being touched, she can become quite ansy when her comfort zone is invaded. As an ENTP, I am not sure whether I become uncomfortable or just recognize when it occurs, thus making my mind wander as to the reason for being touched.Originally Posted by Rocky
I think a touch or time spend with an INTj is just a very valuable thing to give ( in terms of the INTj and gift giving). These aren't pamplets handed out on NYC side walks, these are nobel prizes, or what have you.
Sometimes I feel that way very much. Not in the conceit of "well, my presence (etc) is very important, blah blah", but more so.... " ......... ....(..... wow, I wonder if this person really knows how hard this is / how special/rare/whatever this is, etc....)........ "
That's not the best example or analogy, but something along those lines.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
I think I have a very hard time with physical contact. I even dislike it with my family. I don't know what it is about it though.
Last year I met up with a great friend from high school. I guess you could say that we were 'unofficially' dating: we went out and about two to three days out of the week. We talked about sex, relationships, politics, etc.
However, I never could muster the courage to even hold her hand. I was so wrapped up in our intellectual pursuits (which I find attractive in a lady)that I neglected one of the most important aspects of a relationship, physical contact. As an INTJ, I cared more about the intellectual attraction in our relationship. And I don't think my friend caught on till the end of our close time together.
My problems were exacerbated one afternoon when she gave me a neckrub out of the blue. My mind and my body went cross-wire. "What the heck should I do" ran through my head. Have INTJs ever been in this predicament before? You know, so inept with the opposite sex?
Plus, she invited me on a road trip cross country. (I went along). That was complete torture for me. Here she is asking me really personal questions about marriage and sex and I was the coward for not making a move. At this point I think she figured that we were just 'good friends'. But I knew that she had some feelings for me, for why would she ALWAYS talk about marriage and sex with me? (Before we left on our trip, I asked her 'hypothetically' if we would be a good couple. She hesitated and said not really...But that doesnt explain all of the questions).
I never really touched her, other than some long-hugs. What really got me was her attitude towards me. She told me point blank on our trip that I have many of the qualities she is looking for in a guy. However, I knew that I failed the 'Dating Game' test by not making much meaningful contact. (The hugs meant something to me. I hope they meant something to her as well).
I bet a lot of INTJ guys could attest to the fact that they are more like friends than lovers when it comes to the opposite sex. It was in my case (my own stupidity).
I wrote her a silly little 'love letter'. I think she was flattered. But in the end she wanted to remain friends--ouch. I wanted to be honest with her, so I told her about my lack of being a 'touch-feely guy'. She told me that she was waiting for my advance. She figured that since I didn't make a move, I wasnt interested. What was really embarrassing was her telling me that if I was interested in a lady I should 'hold her hand' or 'touch the small of her back'. Heck, I knew that from the get go. If she only knew the truth....
Bottom line: I feel that INTJs have booksmarts. But when it comes to interacting with the human race, we fall flat on our faces. Now, I could be generalizing. However, I truely feel that this is the case.
And about our relations to the opposite sex, most consider INTJs asexual beings. But, believe me if I really had a handle on the whole contact thing, I would have had a girlfriend, and possible spouse.
(I gave her a small gift for Christmas, she got all emotional on me. She said that she was 'touched' by my gift. Too bad I couldn't have 'touched' her sooner....I'm sorry bad pun there...She still wants to have contact with me...So you never know, I may have a oh-so-slight chance of redeeming myself someday. But life is too short to dwell on one person. Now that I have learned my mistake, I must improve myself).
Sorry about boring the heck out of all of you
joe
i wonder, since you already have contact with her, if you could ask her for a favor. ask her to teach you how to touch a girl. i curious if that would work, and it could lead to other things as well, or if anything just the lesson could be useful.(I gave her a small gift for Christmas, she got all emotional on me. She said that she was 'touched' by my gift. Too bad I couldn't have 'touched' her sooner....I'm sorry bad pun there...She still wants to have contact with me...So you never know, I may have a oh-so-slight chance of redeeming myself someday. But life is too short to dwell on one person. Now that I have learned my mistake, I must improve myself).
Sorry about boring the heck out of all of you
joe
Mike,
I thought about that. Although, I am still a bit crushed by the whole ordeal. But it may not be such a bad idea. I know in my heart that she has feelings for me. I think if I had made some contact, it would have moved us up to the next level. She has told me how much she likes me.
I remember that on our road trip she said that she has known only three guys who have some or all of her mate requirements. Her one ex (whom I met briefly on our trip) is artistic and another ex overseas who is adventourous. Then she mentioned my name because I am intellectual. She said that that was very attractive. When she said this I didn't know quite what to say.
Yes, I am still in contact with her. However, our contact is about twice a month. She is now on the east coast attending grad school. I am in the southwest. (I am going into a volunteer organization in March. I will be spending two years in Asia.)
The last time I saw her on Jan2, I told her that I may not see her again for years. She stopped me and told me not to say that. She then said that she will write to me while I am abroad.
I'll admit it right now. I love this girl. Yes, I have experienced 'puppy love' before. But this is the first time that I have ever been in a mature relationship with someone of the opposite sex. She has taught me a lot about myself.
It sounds crazy, but since she left, I feel that a part of me left as well. But, like I said earlier, I must move on. And if a relationship with her is in the cards, then I will certainly be happy. But if not, I will still appreciate her as a friend.
So, it may be a good idea to at least get her opinions and insights into women. And like you said, it could develop into something more.
Thanks
Joe