Originally Posted by
Joy
This is a case in which the quadra is pretty apparent (imo) but the type is not. She values Fe but is "bad at" it. She values Se but isn't as "good at" it as Se ego types typically are (take the dog whisperer for example). I think she's got strong Ti, but she's only "good at" it in her attention to hierarchical and rules. When she's paying attention to Ne or Ni, it's in the "what if a cow falls out of the sky and lands on my head" sort of way. She's demanding when it comes to the Si things that matter to her, such as keeping the windows in the car up or eating at a certain restaurant, but Si isn't something she's "good at".
She was not at all "nurturing" or "motherly" in the typical sense when her kids were little. She saw being a strict authority and having kids learn to take care of themselves as more important than stuff like putting bandaids on cuts, making food (other than dinner), etc. Instead of singing her young children to sleep at bed/nap time, she'd sit next to their beds with a wooden spoon and smack them if they moved... cause kids will automatically fall asleep if they'll just stop squirming, right? (She says she has no memory of this, btw.) She assigned kids chores such as dishes from very early ages and had a 6 or 7 year old babysitting two younger siblings (one of which needed to be guarded from the attacks of the other to prevent serious injury or worse). The male child didn't have to do any many chores as the females... specifically because he was male.
Her theory was that with responsibilities comes priviledges, so young children were allowed to walk or ride their bike all over the city by themselves. An 8 year old was left alone at the laundromat for hours as well. They weren't allowed to spend the night at friends' houses for the most part though, as described in the first post. This stuff never made any sense to me. She said I was rebelious for protesting obviously unfair rules and punishments instead of obeying the first time without question. If she called your name and you didn't immediately respond with "coming" and jump to your feet, you'd be punished.
She's really into obedience and agility training her poodles right now. She loves pets that she can make to obey her and who will shower her with affection.
When I describe her authoritarian nature, Peter says he doesn't see what I'm talking about. It is true that she's completely different now that her kids don't have to obey her anymore. Perhaps not having the responsibility of raising children anymore has mellowed her out.
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